Husband leaving after 7 months

chesky

PasturesNew wrote: »

And, as it's his home too, that's his right.

I wouldn't say it's his right, certainly not morally or ethically, if he was committing adultery.

NaughtiusMaximus

chesky wrote: »

I wouldn't say it's his right, certainly not morally or ethically, if he was committing adultery.

Not morally or ethically but it is his legal right.

savalittle.

Have you and DH got anywhere sorting this or does he say its all over, hoping it gets sorted.

dawyldthing

Sorry it has happened. My mum had this happen twice, was with them several years then within the year of being married they separated. It is rubbish though.

Possibly give him time, but don’t let him walk all over you as then he will think he can carry on playing mind games

hazyjo

chelseablue wrote: »

A month after the wedding I saw very suggestive messages between him and a girl who worked at our sons nursery. So it could be her.
Although that doesn't explain why he's moved into the spare room. Surely if there was someone else he'd move out, as he can hardly bring a woman back to our house :rotfl:

My ex was in hotel/motel rooms, and at her sister's house. His best mate also covered for him. I should imagine things also happened at their workplace.


My friend has gone through it too and her ex husband also had family covering for him and his new GF. It's amazing what your own friends and family will do if you're the one having the affair. They will often just say 'I don't want to get involved, but if X is making you happy and you were unhappy with your wife, then I'm not going to stop you'. They often get spun lines beforehand in the build up to the affair - 'she's always nagging/moaning/doesn't show me affection/I'm in the spare room/we don't sleep together any more/we argue/she's always working or talking about the kids/no 'us' time/blah blah blah... the list will go on.


Works the other way too - I'm not man-bashing lol. Women are just as bad.


Has he (apparently) been seeing more of any friends or family recently?

chelseablue

He's been out about 3 times in the last month, and has always been home before 11 so I don't think he's seeing anybody (but who knows!)

groovy_chick

I agree with Hazyjo, men rarely leave a relationship unless there is someone new.

"Man is like a monkey, it won't let go of one branch until it has hold of another"

When my husband started his affair, he lost weight, started wearing more designer clothes and said he wasn't sure if he loved me any more, when in actual fact he was sleeping with the barmaid. He didn't go straight for moving out, he asked for a trial separation - I think they do it because they are too chicken to make the big move all at once.

If he is seeing the girl at the Nursery, counselling won't help, but finding out what is going on will. Does he do all the Nursery drop-offs? Can you suggest that you do them and see whether he makes excuses for him to continue?

He is letting you and your son down, don't get sad - get mad! I wish I had been more assertive when my husband was playing around instead of letting him walk all over me.

Sending hugs x

chelseablue

groovy_chick wrote: »

I agree with Hazyjo, men rarely leave a relationship unless there is someone new.

"Man is like a monkey, it won't let go of one branch until it has hold of another"

When my husband started his affair, he lost weight, started wearing more designer clothes and said he wasn't sure if he loved me any more, when in actual fact he was sleeping with the barmaid. He didn't go straight for moving out, he asked for a trial separation - I think they do it because they are too chicken to make the big move all at once.

If he is seeing the girl at the Nursery, counselling won't help, but finding out what is going on will. Does he do all the Nursery drop-offs? Can you suggest that you do them and see whether he makes excuses for him to continue?

He is letting you and your son down, don't get sad - get mad! I wish I had been more assertive when my husband was playing around instead of letting him walk all over me.

Sending hugs x

My son doesn't go to the nursery now as he started school in September.
I had a nose on her facebook and it seems she had a baby around 5 months ago so doubt she'd be able to go on nights out with my husband very much!

Feeling very p!ssed off today, think I'll treat myself tonight to a takeaway!

groovy_chick

chelseablue wrote: »

Feeling very p!ssed off today, think I'll treat myself tonight to a takeaway!

Maybe you should go out and have that takeaway with a friend while he stays in with your son - he can see what Friday nights will be like when he is a weekend Dad.

Mojisola

chelseablue wrote: »

A month after the wedding I saw very suggestive messages between him and a girl who worked at our sons nursery.

chelseablue wrote: »

I had a nose on her facebook and it seems she had a baby around 5 months ago so doubt she'd be able to go on nights out with my husband very much!

And who is the father?

Would an eight month pregnant woman be writing suggestive texts to a new BF?