Husband leaving after 7 months

chelseablue

Cant believe I'm typing this but here goes

Me and my husband have been together for 6 years, we have a son together

We only got married 7 months ago

Last night he dropped the bombshell that he doesn't love me and wants us to separate.

I'm absolutely devastated

I said why did you get married then? He said he felt at the time that he couldn't cancel as our parents had contributed towards the cost and it was too late to back out

We own our house and yesterday he moved into the spare room

Just not sure what to do

Not sure why I'm posting really

Jox

Sorry to hear that....not sure what to say but thinking of you, maybe you could try relationship counselling? Hope you have support in RL x

MushyPeas

Sorry to read about this, such a shock

Counselling sounds a good suggestion, it's worth a try x

Doodles

Big hugs to you, what a terrible shock.

Agree with others, perhaps suggest marriage counselling to him.

If you have any good friends or family, then lean on them for support to get you through this.

74jax

I know you posted not long ago he was not looking forward to turning 30 and that he felt he wasn't ready to leave his 20s behind. Do you think this is linked?

Were there any signs at all? Him saying he didn't feel he could cancel the wedding as his parents had contributed towards it, doesn't really make sense as they have still contributed, so I'm not sure what he means...

hazyjo

I feel your pain. Was with my first husband for 6 ish years before we got married (I was 30, he was around 37).

He left me after being married for 3 months. Also actually said 'I'm not sure if I love you any more'. I was devastated.

I had been slightly suspicious that he might be seeing his secretary. She came to our wedding with her husband. He had denied it.

A couple of days after he moved out, he admitted to my mum he'd been seeing her (they were friends). He still couldn't tell me, and still lied to me about still seeing her a few months later when he was begging to come back. The affair started 3 days before our wedding

(They are now married. She got pregnant very soon after he left me.)

Not saying there definitely is someone else involved, but bear it in mind... I find that men very rarely leave a marriage (especially with kids) unless there's another woman. Have you had any suspicions? Any signs? Might not be the case, obviously! Could just be like you mentioned before and he's not ready to settle down (bit late to be telling you, and he'll probably regret it, but I doubt he'll be changing his mind until he makes the split).

All the best x

cheeky-peach

I am so sorry to read this, Chelsea. Really hope you are as ok as you can be x

chelseablue

hazyjo wrote: »

I feel your pain. Was with my first husband for 6 ish years before we got married (I was 30, he was around 37).

He left me after being married for 3 months. Also actually said 'I'm not sure if I love you any more'. I was devastated.

I had been slightly suspicious that he might be seeing his secretary. She came to our wedding with her husband. He had denied it.

A couple of days after he moved out, he admitted to my mum he'd been seeing her (they were friends). He still couldn't tell me, and still lied to me about still seeing her a few months later when he was begging to come back. The affair started 3 days before our wedding

(They are now married. She got pregnant very soon after he left me.)

Not saying there definitely is someone else involved, but bear it in mind... I find that men very rarely leave a marriage (especially with kids) unless there's another woman. Have you had any suspicions? Any signs? Might not be the case, obviously! Could just be like you mentioned before and he's not ready to settle down (bit late to be telling you, and he'll probably regret it, but I doubt he'll be changing his mind until he makes the split).

All the best x

A month after the wedding I saw very suggestive messages between him and a girl who worked at our sons nursery. So it could be her.
Although that doesn't explain why he's moved into the spare room. Surely if there was someone else he'd move out, as he can hardly bring a woman back to our house :rotfl:

chesky

Moving into the spare room is what he considers the first stage of separation - he's making a statement.

And don't be too sure about him not bringing someone back to the house - it's been done before. Unless you're at home all day, you can't be certain.

PasturesNew

chesky wrote: »

M

And don't be too sure about him not bringing someone back to the house - it's been done before. Unless you're at home all day, you can't be certain.

And, as it's his home too, that's his right.

kazwookie

Have you had the chance to ask him, what why he wants to go?

I wish you well.