Do your friends think you are daft for trying to pay off your debts?

polly56

Always pay your debts off. You work hard for your money so why pay someone else interest. I am 62 years old and had a credit card debt of £1000 in 2000 when my husband was made redundant. I panicked, paid the debt off and have never been in debt since. We have a monthly saving account that we pay money in on standing order then after a year we buy what we need. So no debt. I use a credit card for most things to earn Tesco points and pay off in full at the end of the month.

sammyjammy

Bookmark this thread and show it to them in 20 years time when they are up to their neck in debt and unable to even afford a cheap holiday abroad.

Good luck with paying off your debt, its not easy but your future self will be most grateful.

gemini12

It will come home to roost at some time in their future possibly when the reality of living on a pension hits. Then you can have the last laugh and enjoy being a person of leisure.

DCFC79

No your not the weirdo, your wanting to clear your debt which is wise to do asap so there's no shocks in the future and your helping your future self.

Soundgirlrocks

EssexHebridean wrote: »

Some of our friends thought we were barmy for wanting to get rid of our mortgage. when we DID one particular frien....no, now ex friend in fact...of mine was so bitter about it she couldn't even bring herself to congratulate us - she just never referred to it at all, in spite of knowing we'd done it.

Its great that you paid off your mortgage but I think expecting congratulations from friends is a bit OTT. Imaging it from the friends point of view, it sound almost as if you were lording it over them for having cleared your mortgage when they haven't. They don't sound bitter they sound like they just don't care about your finances ...

DigForVictory

I've been in debt & climbed out, silently, as my mates had a very 'life is for living' approach whereas I love seashell's sig "That pound I saved yesterday, is a pound I don't have to earn tomorrow".

I regret Asda no longer doing the cheaper shop or discount as I loved racking up the vouchers. My children would be embarrassed, but it helped buy their school uniform.

Now I just wish I'd stuck to the habit of saving the money to pay the debt by starting a savings account - I've restarted, but it seems harder!

AngiBear

BigDreams, keep doing what you are doing and the world will be your lobster!

Maybe your friends are saying this to your face but are also secretly paying off debts or now will be thinking about it since you mentioned it.

My friend had the same mindset as your friends and ended up in a world of payday loans, lost his home, couldn't pay bills and walked away with a lot of hard earned lessons. I bailed him out and paid off a lot of his debts and set up direct debits for essential things like his rent, council tax, gas, electricity, TV licence and also put money into a savings account for him now too. He paid me back over a few years but it was hard at the beginning. He used to berate me for saving and now that he has a fair chunk in a savings account too said that he is grateful for it as it gives him that comfort that he has at least 6 months of wages in the bank should anything happen.

What you are doing is a good thing and you know it makes sense too. You can still live for today and have a fantastic time without having to buy it on a credit card.

normanna

Soundgirlrocks wrote: »

Its great that you paid off your mortgage but I think expecting congratulations from friends is a bit OTT. Imaging it from the friends point of view, it sound almost as if you were lording it over them for having cleared your mortgage when they haven't. They don't sound bitter they sound like they just don't care about your finances ...

I totally agree. Losing a friend because they didn't congratulate you is very sad. They might have money issues and simply did not want to enter into a conversation with you about it or simply didn't care. If the friendship was truly a good one I would be apologising to them to try to rekindle the friendship if that's what you want.

We repaid our mortgage in our 30s through a combination of studying hard, working very hard at well paid jobs, and not buying the latest stuff but still hugely enjoying life. Some of our close relatives have entered into debt management plans simply due to bad financial management and living for today and not thinking about tomorrow. We don't share our financial circumstances with our friends and wouldn't dream of telling others just to be congratulated or tell others how to live their life.

When my relatives whinge and moan about their money issues I turn a deaf ear - they were warned by their parents, I offered advice (asked for) but they carried on regardless.

engineer_amy

I have very different views from my oldest friends on this topic.


They live in a cycle of going from monthly paycheck to the next, always in their overdrafts, putting stuff on credit cards, juggling one credit card to another, then buying something on their Next credit account to treat themselves as they have had a difficult month. Ive always said to them that a little short term pain of tightening belts will pay dividends in the long run, but they are very much wanting it all in the here and now.


I have cleared all my debt, except my mortgage, by living frugally, saying no to going out drinking for the third time in a week, and cutting out unnecessary luxuries. Now my income is my own, I have savings and I can afford to splash out if I really want to. But my mindset has changed, in that I no longer want to splash out as often as I used to.


I went out for dinner with 3 newish acquaintances from the gym last weekend. We didn't know each other particularly well, but decided to have dinner and drinks. After quite a lot of alcohol the conversation turned very deep and we were discussing finances, and it turns out these new friends have a very similar mind set to me, no debt and working to clear their mortgages early. Its nice that I can have 2 circles of friends with different attitudes and I can discuss different things with each group.


Keep up your plans to pay down the debt, you will thank yourself in years to come

EssexHebridean

Soundgirlrocks wrote: »

Its great that you paid off your mortgage but I think expecting congratulations from friends is a bit OTT. Imaging it from the friends point of view, it sound almost as if you were lording it over them for having cleared your mortgage when they haven't. They don't sound bitter they sound like they just don't care about your finances ...

The context is relevant here - I had put it on twitter - as I wanted to post a "thank you" to :money: and to these forums for all the support we'd had on the way. Another friend then posted that tweet into a group chat that several of us were part of, with a big "wow - well done" message, which was lovely of her. All other participants in that chat then went on to say "well done" in some form or another - aside from the one person I mentioned. She has since proved that my instinct at that time about her was entirely correct, not only to me but to others also. I didn't "expect" anyone to say anything.

I certainly didn't lord it over anyone, but I DO believe in saying relevant thanks you's, and we worked damned hard for it - frequently going without things that others took for granted - so I sure anything wasn't going to keep it as some kind of shameful secret. Indeed, other friends have been encouraged to OP on their mortgages as a result of seeing us kill ours off 12 years early and I see that as the biggest success of all.