My journey to happy and debt free

in Debt free diaries
85 replies 6.7K views
Starting this here for some accountability.

Things came to a head with my debt last year. I was in a cycle of reborrowing to pay minimum payments and it looked like there was no way out. I was hiding the debt from everyone.
I had messaged Stepchange but just could never speak with them. Ended up messaging trust deed and took the advice to change bank accounts.
This is when I broke, as well as loans I was using credit line services- snc and drafty
They would not accept my new bank details. I literally had no money, taken from joint account to pay off overdraft which I was then going to pay back with credit line etc. I properly broke down and had to confess all to my husband.

He made me go into the bank I had my previous account with and he has his accounts with. We talked it all through, and I know consolidating is not always recommend it seemed like the best for us. We couldn’t get a loan for full amount but one for £20k.
The person at the bank was telling me the information about changing banks was bad info for me as I was making minimum payments. I them spoke with trust deed when I got home, which I wish I never did! I got abused from the person I spoke with and they hoped I was happy to have f’d up my life so badly.
I am only recently getting out of a cloud of horrifically low suicidal feelings.

I have budgets in place and notes of what is due when.

I am not paying my credit cards by dd as they were all coming off at different times and I struggled to keep up with what I had left. So I am paying them once I’m paid.
My payday loans are all paid off and I am working on paying off a credit card at a time.
I don’t qualify for 0% offers so just working through what I can then paying what I have left into one card.

So I’m am now trying to get the balance right of paying of debts but still having a life!
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Replies

  • LouoffofsparkleLouoffofsparkle Forumite
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    I have just seen in another diary about snowball calculator so I’ve imputed all my details and if I pay £1000 per month to my credit cards I can be rid of them in 2 years.
    So my husband is going to pay the consolidation loan while I pay off these as quickly as possible. The loan does allow overpayments so in two years time that’s what I will be doing.
    I’m cancelling my credit cards each time one is paid off.

    The feeling that I can get out of this is amazing as only a few months ago it felt like there was no way out.
  • mark55manmark55man Forumite, Ambassador
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    welcome aboard - plenty of helpful people here. we will need a bit more to go on to help you get the bottom of it all, but the main thing is that you are here and are looking forward
    I think I saw you in an ice-cream parlour/Drinking milk shakes cold & long/Smiling & waving & looking so fine
    2022 Achievements: Mortgage Neutral, Net Debt Free, EF filled, Retirement Planned, More Unfit, Heavier
    2023 Targets (as of 1/1/23): Steps-23K/2500K - Weight - 0lbs/24 - Savings-#57-MFW £400/£10800 - #17-365x1p 1p/£667.95
    2023 Achievements (as of 1/1/23): 5km (treadmill)-51'39" - 2km C2 Erg -9'54 - R-Day 272 Days - PMA Save/Earn - £135

    I'm a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on the Over 50s, DFW and Pensions boards. If you need any help on these boards, do let me know. Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any posts you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the report button, or by emailing [email protected] All views are my own and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.
  • LouoffofsparkleLouoffofsparkle Forumite
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    I spend to make my anxiety go away, which it did for a really short time. It’s a horrible spiral to be caught in but I did it to myself.
    It had gotten to a point I was transferring money from credit cards onto my Revolut card then transferring that to my bank just to pay my minimum payments.
    Everytime I thought I was out of options I would get a limit increase on one of my cards which I always accepted.
    A bit like putting a plaster on a broken leg!
  • LouoffofsparkleLouoffofsparkle Forumite
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    I have a sim only account with giffgaf but I got an offer through from top Cashback for £16 cash back via a different company. It’s for the same price and same gb I have just now, plus will get a month free. So I’ve signed up for that.

    Other than that I’ve had a no spend day.


    Also sorted out the cash in my purse and separated the amounts into the next 3 weeks
    Plus got a tin for putting my spare change into.
    Also making a Sunday my day to round down my bank account.
  • foxglovesfoxgloves Forumite
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    The stress of debt can be horrible, Louoffofsparkle. Much better to get in control of your money, establishing good financial habits along the way.
    Good luck with it all. Just keep telling yourself that nothing you could buy now will make you feel as good as you will when the debt has gone & you are in control.
    F
    "Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only the moment, sparkling like a star in our hand and melting like a snowflake".
    Sir Francis Bacon 1561 - 1626 (Philosopher & statesman)
  • Purplemumof2Purplemumof2 Forumite
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    Good luck on your journey x
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 791 - Proud to be dealing with my debts
    BC: £5000.00 - Lloyds: £5590.00
    Xmas Pot £535/£700 ~ EF £621/1000
    PAYDBX 2021 - #? £0 / £2,000
  • LouoffofsparkleLouoffofsparkle Forumite
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    Thank you for the comments!

    So I made myself leave the house yesterday, getting way to cozy hibernating but it’s not helping the anxiety.
    So I went to the cinema and saw a couple of films- have a subscription card for cinema. Got my lunch using boots advantage card points so I spent £8 yesterday.

    Have had a spend free day so far today. Now going to do a couple of classes at the gym, wish me luck!!
  • mark55manmark55man Forumite, Ambassador
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    good luck!! - or as I sometimes say if it wasn't for bad luck we wouldn't have any luck at all
    I think I saw you in an ice-cream parlour/Drinking milk shakes cold & long/Smiling & waving & looking so fine
    2022 Achievements: Mortgage Neutral, Net Debt Free, EF filled, Retirement Planned, More Unfit, Heavier
    2023 Targets (as of 1/1/23): Steps-23K/2500K - Weight - 0lbs/24 - Savings-#57-MFW £400/£10800 - #17-365x1p 1p/£667.95
    2023 Achievements (as of 1/1/23): 5km (treadmill)-51'39" - 2km C2 Erg -9'54 - R-Day 272 Days - PMA Save/Earn - £135

    I'm a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on the Over 50s, DFW and Pensions boards. If you need any help on these boards, do let me know. Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any posts you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the report button, or by emailing [email protected] All views are my own and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.
  • LouoffofsparkleLouoffofsparkle Forumite
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    So I haven’t posted for a wee while so that needs sorted!!

    Things are moving slowly in the right direction
    I’m not eligible for a 0% card deal but the bank I’m with gave me a 12% apr loan so I paid off my Avant credit loan.

    Paid minimum to all my cards this month as my wage was wrong by about £500, which I’ll get next payday.
    I’ve also had an increase on one of my credit cards which I took and have paid off my drafty credit line as that was 90%apr- gulp!

    Also had the loan my husband and I took out reassessed by the bank and the apr has gone from 19% to 4% so we are getting a rebate and it will be paid off a year earlier.
    So that rebate plus my extra wage next month will pay off a credit card.

    As soon as I have paid it that card will be cancelled. Then I’ll rework my snowball calculator and put that into place.

    As well as that I’ve been taking coffees from home when I’m out, planning my shopping better.

    I’m definitely in a better headspace and glad I can talk about these things with my husband because it was killing me keeping it to myself.
  • LouoffofsparkleLouoffofsparkle Forumite
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    Just sat and put everything into a snowball calculator and my credit card debt will be gone for January 2021!!!!!
    That’s putting £1000 every month into paying my debts down.

    It doesn’t feel so horrible with that day to look forward to.
    I know I need to be realistic so I will review this figure again next month. I have to be able to have the feeling of a life along with paying off my debts and it not to feel to much of a chore.

    Any extra shifts I do I will put that money into my emergency fund.

    After the cards are paid off I will pay extra into the loan. They ended up taking my name off the loan and just putting it in my husbands name as he has better credit rating than me.

    So the loan will be gone by autum/winter 2021.
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