Struggling to control budget - advice welcomed

Sulman

[FONT=&quot]Hi all[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I am struggling to keep our spending in line with our budget.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I have calculated our family monthly/weekly/daily budget pretty accurately based on all incomings and outgoings.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]After all the bills are paid we have £50 per day budget (for groceries, baby clothes, luxuries etc) - a pretty healthy budget I think.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]However, I work full time and my wife is a stay at home mum with our 2 year old. My wife doesn't have bank accounts so she uses my cards. She spends 95% of the budget (quite rightly getting the bits we need etc). However, she is terrible with money and always overspends. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I have tried lots of different ways to try to get her to keep to the budget but it's not working. Currently I am putting the £50 on her card each morning but then I get a phone call saying the card has been declined and can I transfer money quickly as she is at the checkout and people are waiting.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I'm a my wits end with how to control this.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]We have has many chats about this, but it just doesn't sink in.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Bottom line: Anyone have any advice on how they manage their budgets and partners spending?[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Thank you. [/FONT]

Frogletina

Sulman wrote: »

[FONT=&quot]Hi all[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I am struggling to keep our spending in line with our budget.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I have calculated our family monthly/weekly/daily budget pretty accurately based on all incomings and outgoings.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]After all the bills are paid we have £50 per day budget (for groceries, baby clothes, luxuries etc) - a pretty healthy budget I think.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]However, I work full time and my wife is a stay at home mum with our 2 year old. My wife doesn't have bank accounts so she uses my cards. She spends 95% of the budget (quite rightly getting the bits we need etc). However, she is terrible with money and always overspends. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I have tried lots of different ways to try to get her to keep to the budget but it's not working. Currently I am putting the £50 on her card each morning but then I get a phone call saying the card has been declined and can I transfer money quickly as she is at the checkout and people are waiting.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I'm a my wits end with how to control this.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]We have has many chats about this, but it just doesn't sink in.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Bottom line: Anyone have any advice on how they manage their budgets and partners spending?[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Thank you. [/FONT]

You say she doesn't have a bank account, but you give her your cards and top up whenever she overspends. She has learned from you that she can spend whatever she wants to. Have you suggested she uses cash only?

I've been in the situation when I had a little one and was at a checkout and yes, it is embarrassing to have to take off things that you can no longer buy but you can bet I never did that again. That was the days when I only had cash, and no mobile phone to call anyone to bail me out.

frogletina

sal_III

Do all the essentials shopping yourself - either online or weekly groceries etc. Then only put as much money as you want on a weekly basis into her account. The next time her card gets declined at the checkout she can return the non-essential goods to the store and go back home. After some repeats she might start changing her behaviour.

Sulman

Have you suggested she uses cash only

Thanks for your reply. Yes I have tried to withdraw the weeks budget at the start of the week, however, last time I tried this she lost her purse with it in on the Monday morning

klew356

Fifty pounds per day, jesus h chr!st how many kids do you have?! That’s a lot of money to spend per day. Groceries should be bought once a week with occasional top up shops in between. Baby clothes – you don’t need to buy everyday?

Sulman

[FONT=&quot]

Groceries should be bought once a week with occasional top up shops in between

[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Yes you're completely correct. This is one thing that we should absolutely be doing. Probably online, once per week.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Thank you. [/FONT]

sal_III

Also why doesn't she has her own bank account? It's a bit medieval. Get her one (with no overdraft facility) so she can start building financial history which will proof helpful if she wants to go to work someday.

klew356

Honestly, you will save a fortune. Look at what you already have in the cupboards and f/f. work out a meal plan for the week. Work out what you need for breakfasts, snacks main meals etc. drinks etc. I prefer actually going to the supermarket rather than an online shop but each to their own. Just because I don’t like it when they put in something different if the one you want isn’t in stock and for sell by dates. Bulk buy your washing powders etc when they are on offer. Pick the deals.
Don’t shoot me down for not shopping local but clothes generally cheaper online too for the kids. The week you start put £50 a way into savings which are easily accessed for a rainy day/emergency. At the end of the week or month put whats left into the savigns pot. Try and have no spend days. Limit takeaways to a Friday night or one night a week?

poorweelass

You both need to sit down and work on this together

I personally wouldn't be giving a "budget" of £50 a day for food and luxuries etc, that is not a budget, its mindless spending I'm afraid

My budget looks like this

Income - Minus the following
Phone
Car insurance
Road Tax
MoT
Broadband

They are the things I am responsible for paying each month on my wage

I also have to make provision for my dental charges and replacement glasses and I also like to put something into savings, even if it is only £10 a week ( Im a pt worker on NMW/ZHC, wages vary )

DH pays for rates, electric , his car costs, home maintenance etc

After that lot comes out, whats left is for the groceries and only after they are bought do I have luxury and socialising money. If there's none left then that week I don't get luxuries or socialising

Bigger luxuries such as a new phone or lap top or whatever, I have to save up for, maybe weeks

So that I can manage to save myself some free money I meal plan and don't waste food and easily manage on £30 or £40 a week for the two of us. Staying out of the supermarkets is the easiest way to stop the mindless spending. I go in once a week, with a list and stick to it

That is budgeting, not spending everything because it's there. We still have holidays, nights out, a drink or three. We get a take out or have a meal out at least twice a month, we live a pretty good life on next to fresh air

Oliver99UK

Seems to me that she has a bad problem, but the hard truth is you have been encouraging it by allowing her to go over.

I would say some tough love is in order.

I’d highly recommend she opens her own account, with a bank that does not allow unarranged overdrafts. Recommend Monzo or Starling for this, as they have great budgeting features, and have 0 fees for declined payments.

Following that, you/she needs to understand that £50 p/day is a very healthy budget (although a weekly shop would be a must imo) and that if she goes over she cannot get more.

Its like constantly going past your overdraft limit and ringing the bank to increase it.

Sulman

Thanks for this. I like the idea of Monzo or Starling