My first church funeral

Gingham_Ribbon

My family don't like open displays of emotion and I have actually been given a boiled sweet on entering a funeral. (Personally, I think it's better to cry but each to their own.)

I have never seen a collection in church for anything like this. I'd be pretty shocked to be honest.

Sometimes, close family will drop a flower onto the coffin as they are leaving.

Last funeral I went to, no-one entered the church until the coffin arrived just before the service started, then we were all ushered in.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Penny_Watcher

bees wrote: »

Thanks everyone, I had no idea about kneeling or wearing a hat. I haven't got a suitable one so I can't do that - hopefully I won't be alone!

I'm obviously not looking forward to it but I feel a bit more prepared- thank

Don't stress about the hat thing, but a really good point to bring up though. I've been to more Catholic funerals than I care to remember (my Dad's side of the family is BIG and Yorkshire/Irish RC) and I haven't worn one yet. I think some of the older ladies wear hats, but they are the type that would wear a hat anyway. But I haven't been to an Irish funeral though.

Sometimes there is a collection plate a the back of the church for donations to the deceased person's favourite charity. You know the bit in the papers where they say "Family flowers only please, but donations in lieu can be made to xyz charity." When my friend died about £750 was raised for Cancer Research and Macmillan Nurses in his name this way. Better the money put to good use than to line the florists' pockets.

Js_Other_Half

thriftmonster wrote: »

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I must say, since moving to Belfast where going to funerals is a sort of obligation, our children have been to several and they coped with their grandfathers better as a result - maybe my family could be wrong.......!!!!!!

I am originally from NI and I really do think 'wakes' and funerals are part of life, and children accept death much more readily as a result of them. I have memories of children playing and crawling underneath coffins at wakes. Generally the very little kids and older girls went to the wakes - I could make a fairly decent tray of cheese and onion sandwiches by the time I was 8, and the boys went to the funerals. If it was a closer relative, then everyone went.
I am not saying this is for everyone, but I do think that death in England seems much more removed from every day society?

I hope the funeral goes OK for the OP.