2019 Frugal Living Challenge

Kerry_Woman

Frugaldom wrote: »

A QUESTION FOR YOU ALL

In 3 words (or less), what does the word 'frugal' mean to you?

Simplifying my lifestyle.

Frugaldom

Thank you for all the responses and I am delighted to see that most on here 'get' how a frugal lifestyle can be more positive than negative. Over the many years since beginning this challenge I have often been met by negativity (still am) and also by pity (people think we live in poverty) and by annoyance (it annoys some that I prefer to make my own spending decisions that don't necessarily seem 'normal' to others.)

For anyone still trying to get to grips with this, it is not about self-imposed poverty, it is about prioritising spending so you can free yourself from debt and/or sustain your own lifestyle without incurring debt. It is very empowering to know that what you have is all you really need and anything else is a bonus.

tighteningthebelt

FrankieM wrote: »

3 words or less for me: Being in control

I have only felt that way recently, mostly cause I'm now doing it on my own. I don't know how those with partners do it!

If I ever get into another relationship, how they handle their money and how they view money is going to be one of the top topics discussed.

Same same same here. Couldn't agree more! I went on a 'date' recently, I didn't ask, but listened very carefully for info about attitudes to money (not amounts). Failed on unplanned spending, waiting for magic money to fall from the sky, and no emergency fund, and a very rude remark about people who wait round the yellow stickering trolley. All within a couple of hours! There's a trauma waiting to happen so I dipped out. I reckon if you listen carefully you might not have to actually ask! No idea why it doesn't seem acceptable to discuss these things, prob films / media? But it is the number one cause of arguments with couples. Wouldn't it be awful to be a saver and marry a spender? Makes me feel a bit sick at the thought of it.

earthgirl

tighteningthebelt wrote: »

Same same same here. Couldn't agree more! I went on a 'date' recently, I didn't ask, but listened very carefully for info about attitudes to money (not amounts). Failed on unplanned spending, waiting for magic money to fall from the sky, and no emergency fund, and a very rude remark about people who wait round the yellow stickering trolley. All within a couple of hours! There's a trauma waiting to happen so I dipped out. I reckon if you listen carefully you might not have to actually ask! No idea why it doesn't seem acceptable to discuss these things, prob films / media? But it is the number one cause of arguments with couples. Wouldn't it be awful to be a saver and marry a spender? Makes me feel a bit sick at the thought of it.

Coming out of lurkdom here because I have a really alarming situation in my family.

I have a close family member (saver) married to a spender. It's very very unhealthy for the whole family there. The adults are clinically depressed and the teen showing signs of anxiety too. There's nothing I can do to help as if I give money it gets spent on nail treatments etc and if I give advice I'm seen as being condescending (Maybe because I'm TOO frugal and they think I'm a freak). Its really really tough for them as a family.

They normally can't make it through the month without going into overdraft/borrowing from others and have thousands of pounds of debt, bith with good jobs about £75,000 in/year. Its very worrying.

cw18

My other half (we don't live together) isn't what I'd call frugal - huge monthly bill for TV channels for starters :eek:



But he fully supports me in my choices (which include no TV licence, so he gets a break from Live TV every weekend ) and accepts there are times I need to be careful about what I spend. In our 7.5 years together he's discovered A1di & Lid1 (you should have seen how excited he got on discovering Lid1 were opening a store just up the road from him which would become his closest supermarket ), P0undstretchers, B'n'M, H0me Bargains/Qu@lity Save and other discount stores - and the joys of yellow sticker shopping. He regularly jokes that Tesc0 must be wondering what's happened to him.......



He picks himself up a take-away for tea probably at least once a month (and a Maccy D breakfast at least as often), but is quite happy that we don't have them together - possibly a take-away tea once a year on a very busy weekend (and never a Maccy D - yuck!). And I've never been left feeling guilty that when we swap presents I spend a lot less on him than the other way around - the way he seems to look at it is that I'm spending at least the same %age (if not more) of my disposable income. Days out are generally free or cheap-as-chips, although once in a while we spend a bit more to do something / go somewhere we both want to do.

supersaver1000

Frugaldom, sorry I have just realised that this is a thread about Frugal living. Apologies I just felt strongly about Earthgirl's post and wanted to reply. If you want me to delete it or move it please let me know, I don't want to hijack your thread.

Earthgirl that is so caring of you to be concerned about your family member.

I married a spender (I won't go into that here) but my brother in law used to deliberately encourage him to spend in front of me and then smirk when I used to try and rein it in. He obviously enjoyed me squirming because I was clearly too embarrassed to reveal the extent of our debts. In fact he even brought up DH's excessive spending the other day and smirked - nice person!

On reflection it was even worse because BIL is a huge saver and investor and, working in the finance industry, was definitely aware of what he was doing. Its such a shame because if BIL had been like you it would have been an awesome support and maybe DH could possibly have had his LBM much earlier and saved our family some of the distress that being in debt creates.

My problem was that I was in charge of the 'bookkeeping' but didn't have control of the finances and DHs excessive spending kept me busy trying to balance the books. Eventually I had a LBM (one of many) that involved giving DH pocket money of around £300 a month (I know it sounds a lot, but he could put £1000 a month on the credit card without even thinking about it). Once the pocket money was in place I felt I finally had control of the spending.

My initial target was to see the school years through and get us solvent enough for me to be independent - and although I never said that, I think DH somehow sensed it - which I believe prompted his own LBM. DH now regrets wasting so much money - and even likes shopping in our local Aldi! We are still together but I will never get into that situation again and DH needs to work his A$$ off now to make up for it!

I'm so sorry that the teen is having to witness the anxiety about money - I did my best to protect mine, but you can't fully cover it up. In fact I involved mine in the money saving/debt repaying process and wish I had been as financially aware at that age. Unfortunately, with the parents you can't make them have their lightbulb moments. Rather than give money that is spent on frivolous stuff, can you perhaps pay a bill off, or buy some food. Or perhaps put it into the teens account?

I think just by being there when they decide to reach out is all you can do, and believe me that is a lot.

Hettyhound

Is anybody else freaked out by the “cashless” society reports on the news today? :eek: I was more shocked to hear that some pubs won’t accept cash at all! I know it’s a while since I’ve been out but I always thought it was more likely that independent retailers wouldn’t take cards due to the charges. It’s a sure fire way of increasing personal debt; doing a contactless payment must take about half a second whereas the act of getting out your purse and coppering up (and looking at the empty space left behind) drives the point home regarding spending.

I can honestly say that since I started using cash only my spending is far more thoughtful, if it isn’t in your purse you can’t spend it.

greenbee

Getting rid of cash can help reduce some types of crime. For example, since taxis in Copenhagen have moved to card only it has drastically reduced the amount of violent crime against drivers. There are benefits to a cashless society as well.

Shopaholic_no_more

Frugaldom wrote: »

A QUESTION FOR YOU ALL

In 3 words (or less), what does the word 'frugal' mean to you?

Getting out (of) debt


Hi All


Not been a good month so far...


Have had some health issues and have had to take 2 days off work and we do not get sick pay....
Had to have my beloved cat put to sleep so that was a really rubbish weekend emotionally and financially....but he was very poorly bless him and was the right thing to do.


And it is only the 7th March hey ho looks like I am going to be chasing some extra work hours this month once I am up and running again.


But, my shopping budget has improved drastically since I have been spending cash only and not wasting it on impulse supermarket buys so that gets a thumbs up from me


And my credit card is still lying dormant in my purse!! Yay

earthgirl

supersaver1000 wrote: »

Frugaldom, sorry I have just realised that this is a thread about Frugal living. Apologies I just felt strongly about Earthgirl's post and wanted to reply. If you want me to delete it or move it please let me know, I don't want to hijack your thread.

Earthgirl that is so caring of you to be concerned about your family member.

I married a spender (I won't go into that here) but my brother in law used to deliberately encourage him to spend in front of me and then smirk when I used to try and rein it in. He obviously enjoyed me squirming because I was clearly too embarrassed to reveal the extent of our debts. In fact he even brought up DH's excessive spending the other day and smirked - nice person!

On reflection it was even worse because BIL is a huge saver and investor and, working in the finance industry, was definitely aware of what he was doing. Its such a shame because if BIL had been like you it would have been an awesome support and maybe DH could possibly have had his LBM much earlier and saved our family some of the distress that being in debt creates.

My problem was that I was in charge of the 'bookkeeping' but didn't have control of the finances and DHs excessive spending kept me busy trying to balance the books. Eventually I had a LBM (one of many) that involved giving DH pocket money of around £300 a month (I know it sounds a lot, but he could put £1000 a month on the credit card without even thinking about it). Once the pocket money was in place I felt I finally had control of the spending.

My initial target was to see the school years through and get us solvent enough for me to be independent - and although I never said that, I think DH somehow sensed it - which I believe prompted his own LBM. DH now regrets wasting so much money - and even likes shopping in our local Aldi! We are still together but I will never get into that situation again and DH needs to work his A$$ off now to make up for it!

I'm so sorry that the teen is having to witness the anxiety about money - I did my best to protect mine, but you can't fully cover it up. In fact I involved mine in the money saving/debt repaying process and wish I had been as financially aware at that age. Unfortunately, with the parents you can't make them have their lightbulb moments. Rather than give money that is spent on frivolous stuff, can you perhaps pay a bill off, or buy some food. Or perhaps put it into the teens account?

I think just by being there when they decide to reach out is all you can do, and believe me that is a lot.

Thanks for such a wonderful reply - also don't want to hijack the thread - but wow, it's amazing to hear how you sorted it out and stayed together. Gives me hope for my family member. My OH doesnt agree with me giving money anymore - even for bills - because I might pay a bill, but that would be carte blanche for a big spending spree - probably above what I have given. The rest of my family are slowly also reining in support in the hope that the LB does come on for the spender.

Your BIL sounds horrible!

Thank you!:T