Appointeeship

meeshty

I have a question regarding taking over an appointeeship for a relative. Please excuse the long post but the backstory is very important to give context.

Basically, my father has Huntingtons and this impacts on his ability to manage his own affairs somewhat, especially his finances. He gets top rate DLA along with other benefits ie income support etc.

My father used to help out myself and my brother a lot financially, which was completely of his own accord. My brother was a young teenager at the time and I suppose that maybe he did take advantage in a way, asking for 10 or 20 quid here 3-4 times a week, however not in an abusive way, just more in a self centred teenage boy way, constantly asking for money to go out with friends, buy clothes etc. My father also helped myself out, albeit to a lesser extent, however he was always very generous with us both.

Anyway approximately 10 years ago, my father was taken into hospital due to complications of his Huntingtons. He remained in hospital for around 3 months until a suitable package of care was put together due to the increasing help required with mainly his physical needs. However during this time, an aunt of ours, who is extremely manipulative and controlling and loves to get herself over-involved with everybody's business and over-involved with the professionals involved i.e. doctors, nurses, social workers etc, attempted to take control of my fathers affairs. However my father was unhappy with this, it upset him greatly and I pushed back against my aunt, which she didn't like. At this point, she turned against me and basically pushed herself into the role of next of kin/spokesperson for my father. She advised my fathers social worker (he has had a physical disabilities social worker for quite some time due to his illness) that mainly myself, but also my brother were stealing off my dad and financially abusing him. None of which was true. She informed the whole family of this also, who turned against me and my brother and basically backed up her side of the story with social work. Whilst my father was in hospital, I had his bank card, and was constantly buying him bits and pieces, magazines, books, snacks, new jammies and slippers and things for hospital etc. Also as I has just not long left uni and was waitressing part time, he said we could use his card for basics like groceries if we were ever stuck, which we did on a few occasions. Again, nothing underhand, it's just the way my family are, I would give my father, brother etc my bank card and say go and buy yourself groceries or whatever if you are skint.

This entire situation was manipulated and twisted by my aunt (who I think ultimately wanted to take control herself, not to steal but simply for the power and control she would have over my dad) and it got to the point whereby my dads social worker believed her. No one ever seems to doubt her, she is very convincing and she comes across as very concerned and caring, which is what I think the social worker thought, that there was genuine financial abuse going on and my aunt was simply a very concerned relative. I can see why perhaps social work believed her story, my dad helped us out a lot and we did use his card, with his consent whilst in hospital (however the majority of it was spent on him). My dad was unable to stand up against my aunt and she just kept contacting social work constantly, trying to impress upon them that we were some sort of thieves.

In the end, social work ended up taking appointeeship over my dads financial affairs and have managed it ever since, which we have all been happy with on the whole. I only wish (not for anything to do with the appointeeship but to clear my name against all of these accusations which I assume were noted in social work files back then, that I had stood up for myself a bit more, however I felt completely overwhelmed at the time, I was in my early 20's and at this point my brother and I had no one really and it was my aunt plus her family against us and my aunt just ground me down I guess, I was too embarrassed by the fact that everyone was believing her accusations to do anything about it all but cry!).

So fast forward 10 years. My brother is in his late 20's now and I in my mid 30's. I have a stable career (I'm a teacher) and my brother works full time and is currently in the process of applying to do a degree in nursing. We have a great relationship with my dads current social worker and have regular communication with her. The appointeeship is still being managed by social work and overall we are happy with it. However my father is hesitant to ask for money from social work - he hates calling and asking for money and I can see why, he is very proud and my brother and I are hesitant to call and ask for it due to the accusations from years ago. To be honest, due to all the past malicious allegations, we feel awkward asking for it on his behalf. It is just pretty awkward in general. Also, if we want to take my father in town, to buy a few new clothes etc, or buy stuff for the house, we have to ask social work for the money, wait a couple of weeks till he gets it then find time to take him down. It would be so much easier all round if either my brother or I could manage his money, perhaps by becoming appointees instead of social work and use it on his behalf, for him, when needed.

Has anyone been in a situation whereby they have taken over a social worker appointeeship for a relative? Or even a social worker who has any idea how they would deal with a similar situation? I'm not sure if this is something that can even be done due to the past allegations which, as I say, I think were thoroughly believed and noted by my dads previous social worker. I feel embarrassed to speak to my mums current social worker about it due to the history and as I have a good relationship with her, I'd hate to damage that in any way.

As I say, I'm sorry for the huge post, but the background is important to understand my quandry. Thank you for anyone who takes the time to read this and hopefully reply.

TELLIT01

If your father is mentally capable, but not able to manage his finances, he could potentially request a change of appointee but expect the council to fight it. For some reason they are very reluctant to relinquish appointeeship once they have it. The additional complication, as you are clearly aware from the content of your post, is the alleged actions by your brother and yourself in the past. Assuming those allegations have been accepted as true the social services it will be even more difficult.
A first step might be for you and your brother to approach social services and see what kind of reaction you get to the idea of transfer.

poppy10_2

If you and your brother were using his money to buy yourself groceries and clothes, it's highly unlikely that the council would agree to give up appointeeship.

meeshty

poppy10 wrote: »

If you and your brother were using his money to buy yourself groceries and clothes, it's highly unlikely that the council would agree to give up appointeeship.

I think perhaps you've gotten confused poppy. I didn't say my brother and I were using the money to buy clothes. What I did say is that my brother used to be given quite a bit of money from our father to buy clothes and stuff when he was young. As all teenagers do. Maybe a lot more than he should have given him but never was there any kind of theft. I also said whilst our father was in hospital we used his card, with his permission, a couple of times to buy groceries. Which he had told us a few times we could do if we were skint. I don't think there wrong is anything with that, most parents buy their kids grocery shops from time to time if they are skint. The card was also used for purchases for stuff for our Dad and also a couple of things for myself which I paid my dad back for upon payday.

It's the twisting and manipulating of this by our aunt in which she made it sound terrible and this leads me to think that social work possibly believed it at the time and thus would have documented it. At the time, the social worker did say to my dad after the allegations were made that if there was any kind theft, charges would be pressed, however they weren't. Hopefully this means that they realised that there was no theft going on in the first place. I wish I had gone to the police and pressed charges against my aunt for slander or harassment however it was a horrible situation all round and the thought didn't even cross my mind at the time.

Thank you for taking the time to read my post and replying though.

TELLIT01

Any notes on file might not state that there had been theft, but state something along the lines that there were allegations but they were unable to prove any wrongdoing. It can be difficult to prove that something did happen but often almost impossible to prove that something didn't happen. Lack of proof doesn't mean something didn't occur.
Please note, I am not accusing you and your brother of anything, more trying to myself in the position of an organisation who's purpose is to protect your father's finances.

elsien

In my area, the local authority do not act as appointees. They put in a referral to whoever has the contract locally - currently Age Uk.
Age Uk then pay the bills and bring cash out at regular intervals plus the person can request extra if it's needed/they can afford it. So your dad would always have some cash to hand for day to day expenses etc.

How does it work for him now? How is the day to day money and shopping managed? I would suggest your dad asks for a review to explain how he feels, but how often does he actually need new clothes/things for the house that would need more than his usual budget? They do have to have receipts to prove where the money is going.

ETA - the initial social worker was wrong in saying charges would have been pressed if there was theft. First off, if your dad had capacity it would have been his decision as to whether to speak to the police, not the local authority. Secondly it's down to the CPS to decide if someone is prosecuted, not social services. And these cases can be hard to prove unless it's larger amounts.

My suggestion would be rather than looking at change of appointee seeing if there
are ways in which your dad can feel more comfortable in accessing his money but which won't result in more accusations.

elsien

Also to add that if your dad has capacity he could do a financial power of attorney however if there are concerns the LA may report to the OPG to look at suitability.

meeshty

elsien wrote: »

In my area, the local authority do not act as appointees. They put in a referral to whoever has the contract locally - currently Age Uk.
Age Uk then pay the bills and bring cash out at regular intervals plus the person can request extra if it's needed/they can afford it. So your dad would always have some cash to hand for day to day expenses etc.

How does it work for him now? How is the day to day money and shopping managed? I would suggest your dad asks for a review to explain how he feels, but how often does he actually need new clothes/things for the house that would need more than his usual budget? They do have to have receipts to prove where the money is going.

ETA - the initial social worker was wrong in saying charges would have been pressed if there was theft. First off, if your dad had capacity it would have been his decision as to whether to speak to the police, not the local authority. Secondly it's down to the CPS to decide if someone is prosecuted, not social services. And these cases can be hard to prove unless it's larger amounts.

My suggestion would be rather than looking at change of appointee seeing if there
are ways in which your dad can feel more comfortable in accessing his money but which won't result in more accusations.

Thanks for your reply elsien. The day to day money and shopping is managed in that he gets say £500 every time he asks and I do his grocery shopping until the money he has runs out, at which point he asks for more. However we have put in a referral for a weekly shopping service as I have a lot going on and it can sometimes be difficult for me to go over on a regular basis. If he needs non food shopping then we would ask the social worker for extra money, a lump sum and once that's received I take him into town. For things like holidays, which I've taken him on a couple, again either myself or him would ask for money and it's brought down to his house. As I say, it's just a pain in that we can't always just go into town spur of the moment as if he sees things he likes, we can't buy it straight away as he doesn't always have access to his money and if I pay for whatever it is then I have to wait a few weeks to get it back, which isn't ideal. He also just feels that the arrangement is a little intrusive, however as I say, we've no real complaints.

My dad wouldn't necessarily be able to put across how he feels about it as he gets very confused and finds it hard to express himself. I would be more than happy to take over the appointeeship and for all monthly bank statements etc to be given to social services but again, I'm not sure how all this works.

I just feel so awkward even broaching the subject with social work in case they think that I have some kind of ulterior motive due to the past allegations.

Thank you again for taking the time to reply, it is very much appreciated.

TELLIT01

If you aren't going to be able to see him as often due to personal commitments you possibly aren't the ideal person to be acting as his appointee.

meeshty

TELLIT01 wrote: »

If you aren't going to be able to see him as often due to personal commitments you possibly aren't the ideal person to be acting as his appointee.

I do see him regularly tellit01, once a week in person with daily phone contact. However at present I work full time and am doing my part time masters, along with helping out at extracurricular activities for my pupils, so one week it may be a Monday that I go across and the next week it may be a Thursday, he would need food shopping more regularly than this. Plus my dad says that he feels bad me having to do all his shopping, he thinks it's too much on top of my other commitments (which I have reassured him I don't mind but he doesn't listen) so to make it easier all round, we're just getting his food shopping delivered. However in regards to non grocery spending, it would be so much easier to just enable us to buy things for him whenever he likes rather than have to wait a couple of weeks until money is delivered. I think I'll speak to his social worker and like elsien said, see if there is another way for him to perhaps be able to access his money as and when needed without me taking on full appointeeship.

TELLIT01

I'm not being critical of the fact that you have other commitments, simply suggesting that at this time it may not be good for either party for you to take on appointee responsibilities.