being executor and beneficiary and the will help

loubella38

Hi All,

I am new here and mum sadly passed away in october this year. I am her only child and her only beneficiary. She died with very little to be honest as after dad passed away some 12 years ago she was left struggling and after much advice and me telling her to do it she took out a lifetime mortgage on her house to pay for and undertake work needed to bring it up to scratch. it was my thinking that she needed the money and although she struggled aith the fact that when she did die the house would have a lot of money owing on it and I wouldn't get my inheritance I told her at the time it didn't matter to me she needed to be comfortable for her remaining years and I meant it. but I am struggling with a dilemma right now.
when mum and dad wrote their wills yrs ago they left everything to me inc the house, with small item legacys that I have given out to the the beneficiarys her grandchildren/my daughters. In the will it stated that they wished each of my daughters to bee given 3K each if I sold the house but with no binding obligation to do so. Obviously since then the lifetime mortgage has eaten up much of the equity and once the sale is finalised it will leave approx. 5k left once all estate debts are settled inc mortgage now I obviously cant fulfil the riginal wish as this was done when they owned the house outright but I am feeling a little hurt at both my daughters asking what are they getting and they feel 1k each is right. that will leave me with 3k but I feel a little agreived at this as I have no inhertance than that and mum would want me to be able to have some am I right to feel aggrieved? I think 500 pounds each is sufficient as they will inherit from us one day and am I justified in feeling hurt with them as all they seem to want is money Help!

keithdc

loubella38 wrote: »

Hi All,

I am new here and mum sadly passed away in october this year. I am her only child and her only beneficiary. She died with very little to be honest as after dad passed away some 12 years ago she was left struggling and after much advice and me telling her to do it she took out a lifetime mortgage on her house to pay for and undertake work needed to bring it up to scratch. it was my thinking that she needed the money and although she struggled aith the fact that when she did die the house would have a lot of money owing on it and I wouldn't get my inheritance I told her at the time it didn't matter to me she needed to be comfortable for her remaining years and I meant it. but I am struggling with a dilemma right now.
when mum and dad wrote their wills yrs ago they left everything to me inc the house, with small item legacys that I have given out to the the beneficiarys her grandchildren/my daughters. In the will it stated that they wished each of my daughters to bee given 3K each if I sold the house but with no binding obligation to do so. Obviously since then the lifetime mortgage has eaten up much of the equity and once the sale is finalised it will leave approx. 5k left once all estate debts are settled inc mortgage now I obviously cant fulfil the riginal wish as this was done when they owned the house outright but I am feeling a little hurt at both my daughters asking what are they getting and they feel 1k each is right. that will leave me with 3k but I feel a little agreived at this as I have no inhertance than that and mum would want me to be able to have some am I right to feel aggrieved? I think 500 pounds each is sufficient as they will inherit from us one day and am I justified in feeling hurt with them as all they seem to want is money Help!

I am struggling with the contradiction in your last sentence.

What does the will actually say?

Lorian

Posting an extract of the relevant parts of the will would get you the most complete advice.

loubella38

sorry I don't have the will to hand but it says " if I choose to sell the property it is their wish that each of their 2 granddaughters ( my daughters) be given £3k from the proceeds but without any binding obligation to me to do so.
I have no problem with giving them some money to remember gran by but the will was written yrs ago long before any mortgage was taken out and they owned it outright. The house is worth 71.5k and sold recently for that but once all estate debts are settled ( care home fees, mortgage, agent and solicitors fees probate costs and some funeral costs I had to pay out myself as she had nothing in her bank account either) the net will be just about 5k left.
I was talking to hubby and we agreed that £500 to each of them £1000 total would be sufficient but both my daughters are a bit put out and feel they should have £1k each this is why I feel a little hurt with them both as they know there isn't much left and mum openly told them that there wouldn't be much left when she died she feared. Our solicitor says it is a residuary gift and there is no residuary so they actual are not entiltled to anything at all. but I want to uphold mums and dads wish at least a little so im struggling with grief of loosing mum, two daughters who feel they are entitled and trying to have at least a small inheritance for me which mum wanted more than anything.
so I suppose my question is do people feel £500 should be sufficient ?

Yorkshireman99

loubella38 wrote: »

sorry I don't have the will to hand but it says " if I choose to sell the property it is their wish that each of their 2 granddaughters ( my daughters) be given £3k from the proceeds but without any binding obligation to me to do so.
I have no problem with giving them some money to remember gran by but the will was written yrs ago long before any mortgage was taken out and they owned it outright. The house is worth 71.5k and sold recently for that but once all estate debts are settled ( care home fees, mortgage, agent and solicitors fees probate costs and some funeral costs I had to pay out myself as she had nothing in her bank account either) the net will be just about 5k left.
I was talking to hubby and we agreed that £500 to each of them £1000 total would be sufficient but both my daughters are a bit put out and feel they should have £1k each this is why I feel a little hurt with them both as they know there isn't much left and mum openly told them that there wouldn't be much left when she died she feared. Our solicitor says it is a residuary gift and there is no residuary so they actual are not entiltled to anything at all. but I want to uphold mums and dads wish at least a little so im struggling with grief of loosing mum, two daughters who feel they are entitled and trying to have at least a small inheritance for me which mum wanted more than anything.
so I suppose my question is do people feel £500 should be sufficient ?

Without seeing the exact wording of the will we can’t be certain but as a general principle executors don’t have any discretion, the must follow the will. What youconsider “fair” is not relevant. We need to see the exact wording.

Mojisola

loubella38 wrote: »

I don't have the will to hand but it says " if I choose to sell the property it is their wish that each of their 2 granddaughters ( my daughters) be given £3k from the proceeds but without any binding obligation to me to do so.

I was talking to hubby and we agreed that £500 to each of them £1000 total would be sufficient but both my daughters are a bit put out and feel they should have £1k each

mum openly told them that there wouldn't be much left when she died

im struggling with grief of loosing mum, two daughters who feel they are entitled and trying to have at least a small inheritance for me which mum wanted more than anything.

If they were mine, the more entitled they behaved and the more they upset me, the lower the offer would get.

loubella38

Yorkshireman99 wrote: »

Without seeing the exact wording of the will we can’t be certain but as a general principle executors don’t have any discretion, the must follow the will. What youconsider “fair” is not relevant. We need to see the exact wording.

I am the executor and the sole beneficiary and it is stated in the will that I have no binding obligation to give them anything once the sale is complete . my executor role will be ended with me passing the remaining money to myself as sole beneficiary of net sale proceeds after debts. so it is in a parent role that I will be making the decision not executor role. if there had been no mortage and debts and the net proceeds of 71k less approx. 3k debts was the case I would be giving way more than stated in the will as I would be giving it from my inheritance.
if that makes sense

newatc

The solicitor has said you have no legal obligation, it surely becomes your decision in which your relationship with your daughters and the specific situations you are all in are the key pointers and only known by yourself.

Savvy_Sue

If the will is as you state, then you have no binding obligation to offer them anything, because that's what it says.

We're not in a position to say whether what you propose is fair. They don't think it is. Nothing we say will convince them of anything: you're all grieving (at least I hope they are) so I'd say this was a communication issue as much as anything.

Do they know what the will actually says? do they know how much you're left with after the house is sold? Are they in financial need?

Sea_Shell

How old are your Daughters. Are they only late teens (over 18) or much older. If the latter they should be easily able to understand that the estate had a lot less in it than it did when the will was written, and that there is hardly any money left for anyone...they should accept that they may get less (or nothing).

However, if they are very young adults, they might be having a "that's not my problem" reaction, with a sense of entitlement, if that's what Nan always told them they'll be getting.

I agree with posters above, in that if the will is not insistent (binding) on this money being gifted, and is completely discretionary on your part....then it becomes a "family" matter. Only you know your family best. Good Luck with whatever you decide.

Flugelhorn

If the wording of the will is such that it doesn't bind you to give them the money then one way of getting them to understand about the relative value of it all is that if the house was worth 71.5k at some point then the 6k would have been about 8.5%.
8.5% of what remains is about £420 between them.
My mother wanted to change her will to leave exact sums to the grandkids - I persuaded her not to as I had no idea of the potential value of her estate / future care costs etc and felt that we could be in the same position as the OP. So instead I promised to give them a sum when all was sorted out- the lack of figures in the will reduced expectations!