*sigh* this may take a while

Humdinger1

One of my favourite stories is 'how big was the Queen Mother's overdraft when she died?' No one believes me at first when I tell them £4 million but it sure cheers people up at the occasional debt courses I organise. It goes to show that it's all about mindset in my opinion.   I hope you feel better now you've heard that @ohdearhowdidthathappen? Love your diary Humdinger xx

ohdearhowdidthathappen

savingholmes said:

Improving is good. I do think it is a season for putting away a decent EF though. How are your savings goals going?

Savings are non existent 

ohdearhowdidthathappen

Humdinger1 said:

One of my favourite stories is 'how big was the Queen Mother's overdraft when she died?' No one believes me at first when I tell them £4 million but it sure cheers people up at the occasional debt courses I organise. It goes to show that it's all about mindset in my opinion.   I hope you feel better now you've heard that @ohdearhowdidthathappen? Love your diary Humdinger xx

Haha, love it  

ohdearhowdidthathappen

This time of year always makes me reflect... coming to Christmas and New Year.  I always see New Year as a chance for a fresh start... in reality, it starts with a fresh start but usually slips back to normality after a few weeks.  I've been doing more reading and also got into listening to podcasts.
After much navel gazing, I reckon I have an addictive personality... I kind of keep it under control, but it's there.  DH is the same, but I haven't had that conversation with him yet.  I think it's why I wanted so many children and why I'm always searching for the next job/career.  Always restless.  Other examples:
-We both drink too much - not enough to be labelled or to be an issue, but enough that we both question it from time to time.
-We're not great with eating healthy either, we both have healthy BMIs (around 23) but snack too much and eat too much processed stuff.
-We spend too much money and are rubbish at saving.  Again, not enough to be an issue as we earn a decent amount which offsets it.  Always a house project on the go and always eyeing up a move!
So, I'm going to try and be more mindful.  Even more navel gazing I need to come up with a plan and stick to it... maybe that can be a healthier addiction? I'm thinking I might research and fine tune ready for 2023... perfect time for a(nother) fresh start  

ohdearhowdidthathappen

There's a lot of 'I's in that post.... DH tends to go with the flow.  So if I'm 'we should do this...' then he'll usually be on board unless he's horrified at the thought.  We can talk ourselves in or out of anything  
So if I come up with a plan or plans and stick with it, he'll inevitably go with it  
That sometimes gets him into trouble, he only wanted 2 children for instance ... I'm the more flighty one, coming up with random plans, he tends to be the one who likes the status quo (hence his reluctance to move areas) so we do differ in some ways.  But it works for us as a couple on the whole.

EssexHebridean

It's certainly a good thing to have identified I'd say, and particularly the alcohol thing as realistically if it's significant enough that you're questioning whether it's a problem, it's probably a problem isn't it! (Even if only because the concern about it will be adding to stress!). 

If you're looking at wanting to be healthier rather than wanting to lose weight, which sounds likely from your post, then have you focused on things like sleep, reducing stress, eating more fruit/veg (rather than focusing specifically on cutting things out of your diet) and increasing activity levels? All those as you know if you get them right are actual heath-improving behaviours. If you're drinking alcohol habitually several nights a week then bear in mind that will also be impacting on your sleep - I was truly astonished how much difference even a single drink in a day makes to my quality of sleep according to my Garmin device, and although I only drink at most a couple of days in the week, and often not even that often, it did make me stop to think about really deciding whether I was happy with the tradeoff when I do decide to have a drink. 

You and your OH sound to have a similar personality balance to me and MrEH - he'd happily just bimble along rarely making any changes anywhere, it's definitely me that's the planner and the organiser!  

ohdearhowdidthathappen

Thanks EH
For me, it's a bit of a habit at a certain time of the day - 8pm.  Youngest kids in bed, decompress mode.  Before 8pm, I'm not fussed and if I'm busy and it gets to 9pm I'm also not fussed.  I never drink during the day and I'm absolutely a lightweight, 2 drinks and I'm done.
We eat pretty healthily and I'm an epic sleeper... literally, I can go to bed at 10pm or midnight and I'll sleep until something wakes me - usually an alarm or a 7 year old.  DH is not a good sleeper, always been a light sleeper and getting worse with age.
We get out steps in, average 10-12K

ohdearhowdidthathappen

I'm very much getting into podcasts...
For breaking bad habits, I'm liking 'The n@ked m!nd'  and for money I'm listening to DR.  I like listening to him on my commute, he's so black and white it makes me chuckle, but he does talk a lot of sense.  In my head, I dispense lots of wisdom to those callers and then do all the wrong things with my own finances  

EssexHebridean

LOL at listening to podcasts, agreeing with every word, and then doing the opposite - I reckon we've all been there in one area or another! I listen to podcasts a lot - when I'm walking or running, and at the gym. I love Gabby Logan's "Mid Point" - she's great to listen to anyway and she's interviewed some fascinating people. The Good Medic Podcast also has some interesting stuff although you do have to pick and choose a bit with hers. 

On the sleep thing by the way, I've found that it's best to not assume that solid sleep means good quality sleep. I can have nights where I sleep right through, lots of deep sleep, but the overall quality wasn't good according to Garmin. (I am well aware by the way that these devices can say al sorts of things but I was surprised how accurate Garmin's "body battery" thing was when I went through a couple of weeks not looking at it first thing but instead consciously analysing how I felt when I woke - rested, wide awake, still drowsy, low in energy or whatever - then once I'd noted that comparing with the device app.) And there is unquestionably (in  my mind, anyway having seen the evidence in the app over more than a year now) a link between a lack of "recharging of body battery" and having had a drink which really cannot be coincidental. (It explains why while working at the beer festival even on mornings where I felt I'd slept really well, my energy levels still fell, and fell, and fell through the week until by the saturday I was essentially running on empty!) It's quite fascinating - some things that I'd always assumed would mean a worse night's sleep barely affect me at all, yet others have a real effect! 

savingholmes

I think recognising your traits is a good first step to dealing with them. It sounds like you do a lot of good things looking at your bmi etc and your overall home equity - but need to redirect in others. I think definitely trying to find a healthy obsession sounds a good call...