Help Trying to remove house to pay for carehome fees

Browntoa

Fiveinourhouse wrote: »

Just to clarify a few things. My husband fully intends to pay for his mother’s care and certainly doesnt expect to get it for nothing.
It’s messy as families often are. My husband comes from a difficult background and my mother in law worked very hard to pay for her own place. Historically family members have taken what little savings she had and items of worth from her.
When she was writing her will she asked my husband to have power of autorney but at the time he felt it wasn’t wise (a mistake). He made it clear that we as a family wanted no gain financially. We have been blessed as my husband is the only one in his family that hasn’t lived off benefits or in prison. He became a Christian and built a new life.
Having said all this ideally we would like to sell the house and put the money into an account to pay for both her care and any other things she needs or wants.
My husband is concerned that they will sell the property for peanuts and keep the money regardless of how long his mother is in care.
She had wanted to leave the property to her other grand children so ideally any money left would go to them.
Basically he doesn’t trust the council to act in his mothers best interests and no one is willing to communicate with him. Unfortunately we aren’t local which is an added complication.

If they council gets involved and puts a charge on the land registry they cannot sell without the council permission. Possibly a good valid reason for getting them involved now (and mention your fears about the house being sold for peanuts)

Pollycat

Does anyone else think it's a little odd that it's got to the stage of the Council saying they're going to sell the OP's MIL's house even though the OPs husband says he'll pay for her care?

There's either a lot more to this than we're being told or the OP is getting her information 2nd, 3rd or 4th hand.

Fiveinourhouse

I put this post up to ask for help. While lots of people are very kind and helpful it hurts that some are so quick to judge and say untrue and hurtful things. I wish I had not bothered.

Fiveinourhouse

Glen_Clark wrote: »

How is asking her to pay her own care home fees robbing her?
Sounds more like you want to rob me to pay for her so you can have her money. :mad:
My mother's house was sold to pay for her care, and my siblings and I made up the shortfall so she could go in a nice care home of her own choosing.
Frankly, one wonders what sort of siblings want to bung their mum in a cheap home at someone eleses expense so they can have her money.:(

If you had read the full post you would have discovered that that is our intention. We do not want her money but rather want to ensure that her money is spent on her, not taken by either the council (social services) or her family members that have taken her other savings.

Fiveinourhouse

Pollycat wrote: »

Does anyone else think it's a little odd that it's got to the stage of the Council saying they're going to sell the OP's MIL's house even though the OPs husband says he'll pay for her care?

There's either a lot more to this than we're being told or the OP is getting her information 2nd, 3rd or 4th hand.

We have indeed been getting information from another family member. As we live so far away it is hard to understand what is really happening when my mother in laws social worker is not returning my husbands calls.

I think he is just concerned for her well fair and wants to set something up to ensure that she’s taken care of as best as we can.

Mojisola

Pollycat wrote: »

There's either a lot more to this than we're being told or the OP is getting her information 2nd, 3rd or 4th hand.

Fiveinourhouse wrote: »

We have indeed been getting information from another family member. As we live so far away it is hard to understand what is really happening when my mother in laws social worker is not returning my husbands calls.

When my Dad needed residential care, a social worker did the financial assessment (which confirmed he would be self-funding but that we needed a deferred payment scheme until the house was sold) and after that, it was up to us to sort out which home he went to.

We got the bills from the care home and it was up to us to pay them.

If the council are involved enough to talk about selling her house, it must be because no-one from the family is taking on the work.

pollyanna_26

Fiveinourhouse wrote: »

Just to clarify a few things. My husband fully intends to pay for his mother’s care and certainly doesnt expect to get it for nothing.
It’s messy as families often are. My husband comes from a difficult background and my mother in law worked very hard to pay for her own place. Historically family members have taken what little savings she had and items of worth from her.
When she was writing her will she asked my husband to have power of autorney but at the time he felt it wasn’t wise (a mistake). He made it clear that we as a family wanted no gain financially. We have been blessed as my husband is the only one in his family that hasn’t lived off benefits or in prison. He became a Christian and built a new life.
Having said all this ideally we would like to sell the house and put the money into an account to pay for both her care and any other things she needs or wants.
My husband is concerned that they will sell the property for peanuts and keep the money regardless of how long his mother is in care.
She had wanted to leave the property to her other grand children so ideally any money left would go to them.
Basically he doesn’t trust the council to act in his mothers best interests and no one is willing to communicate with him. Unfortunately we aren’t local which is an added complication.

The problem I see is the lack of information re your MIL .


Does your husband visit her in hospital often .


Is a family member an appointee for her?


It's even possible one has power of attorney at this stage .


I haven't seen a reply regarding capacity .


As forward planning didn't happen before this stage was reached I agree with Elsian . If MIL is judged to be a self funder it is correct that her home should be used towards the cost of her care long term or if short term there may be some residue for the grandchildren .


Cuts to services mean the care sector is struggling in a time when the over 60s are needing care in higher numbers than before . Her home kept her housed over the years and hopefully will be the means of a good level of care now .


I don't think your husband planning to pay himself for care is a sensible idea . However comfortable and secure we may believe ourselves to be life can change in a heartbeat and such a scenario could impact on the care provision .


polly

Pollycat

Fiveinourhouse wrote: »

We have indeed been getting information from another family member. As we live so far away it is hard to understand what is really happening when my mother in laws social worker is not returning my husbands calls.

I think he is just concerned for her well fair and wants to set something up to ensure that she’s taken care of as best as we can.

Then I suggest you get the full story from the people who are dealing with the Council.

Glen_Clark

Fiveinourhouse wrote: »

We do not want her money but rather want to ensure that her money is spent on her, not taken by either the council (social services) or her family members that have taken her other savings.

If its taken by the council it will be to spend on her

Flugelhorn

Robin9 wrote: »

I'm not sure why the council are getting involved if your husband is prepared to pay for her to go into a home of your choice ?

She will have a social worker allocated to her - contact him/her. We have found my MIL's social worker very helpful and are in regular touch.

Agree if there is a family member who will pay or handle the sale of the house, the council will be delighted - one less problem for them. Suspect the story is more complicated.