Don't fit in with work

Fireflyaway

My current job is 1 hour away so I've had lots of time driving about to think about recent and last events!

It's dawned on me slowly that I've never been happy in the workplace. I've never really fitted in with colleagues ( not wanted to) and I find being at work so stressful. I quit a job last summer through stress. I would have been fired anyway.

Every day I'm exhausted. My current job is actually the best I've had and I like my colleagues but in general communicating with people is so emotionally draining. As posted on another board recently, I think I might be autistic which would explain a lot of what's happened at work and how I feel.

I have been thinking of how to deal with this and thought up a plan..... work for a year. Save either half or two thirds of my pay then take the next year or 2 years off. Then repeat. My only worry is would it be harder to find a job each time with breaks on my cv? Is this plan a bit extreme or should I be looking at another way to deal with things?

Comms69

I’d be looking at a more local role if the current salary is high enough that 2/3 can be ‘saved’. Money isn’t the be all and I think you’d be happier perhaps earning less but in a better environment

Silian

Start reading Mr. Money Moustache

Especially this article - http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/01/13/the-shockingly-simple-math-behind-early-retirement/

If you save 2/3 of your salary you can retire in 10 years time. Possibly earlier as you will pay less tax - possibly later as the site is for US users and will have to be adjusted for the UK.

It will be a hard 10 years but then it is over and you don't have to go back to work at all if you choose not to.

Fireflyaway

Comms69 wrote: »

I’d be looking at a more local role if the current salary is high enough that 2/3 can be ‘saved’. Money isn’t the be all and I think you’d be happier perhaps earning less but in a better environment

My job doesn't pay much. I dropped £10k compared to my previous role. The saving is based on being super tight!
My current role is the best I've had. I don't think the environment is wring. It's me. Working local would be good in terms of petrol and time but no guarantee I'd enjoy it more.

moneyistooshorttomention

The snag to that is what are the odds re you being able to find a replacement job pdq whenever you decide you need one?

You could find yourself thinking "Right - I've had the year off I planned and I'll start work again next month" and find that a suitable job for you to 'start work next month' took some months to materialise and meanwhile the DWP would be on your back asking you all sorts of awkward questions about why you voluntarily gave up your last job and why you've spent your own savings as you decided to do and that you must use them "to live on" (even though they aren't there any more because you've spent them).

I could - and did - decide "I'll have a month off now and then get another job" back in my 20's. BUT that was the 1970's and things were very different then and one could do so. I wouldn't fancy the chances of trying to do that in the 2010's.

ohreally

Perhaps you should be using the interview as a two way street and probe whether they would be a suitable fit for you. I realise there is only so much information that can be taken away but it really should be a two way interview.

Fireflyaway

This is a serious concern, you are totally right.
Currently I'm on a fixed term contract and I'm already worried about not being able find a job in time after that finishes!

Fireflyaway

ohreally wrote: »

Perhaps you should be using the interview as a two way street and probe whether they would be a suitable fit for you. I realise there is only so much information that can be taken away but it really should be a two way interview.

Do you mean interviews in general?

I don't mean to brush off all the suggestions I'm receiving but I don't think that would help although I do agree in principal.

It's my personality that makes work difficult. For example maintaining eye contact, 'correct' body language or making small talk is exhausting. knowing when to speak in meetings, being in close proximity to others and being able to answer questions quickly enough are all difficult. Socially I don't fit in either. The whole experience of work is one big stress. Having said that, I have always worked. I think a good work ethic is important.

System

If you feel like this now, imagine the dread you would feel after a year or two off when you are staring down the barrel of a year's employment...it'd be tough for someone who is emotionally stable. Personally, you need to find something your like, possibly less pay, but something you can live with. People need a purpose too...psychologically speaking...having a year to do nothing is not actually good for you.

getmore4less

What do you do socially when not at work, for example any hobbies?

Fireflyaway

Outside work I don't socialise with others. I like reading, being outside and I like animals.
I think I've come to realize after some soul searching that my personality isn't going to lend itself to getting very far up the career ladder so need to just find something that makes me happy.
I wouldn't just sit about it I had a year off. I'd join a gym, do some volunteering, do some courses etc. I'm never lonely so the reduced social interaction wouldn't bother me. It would actually be a positive.