11 year old not coping with secondary school

Christmasshopper · 9 November 2007 at 3:06PM

This sounds so familiar.
DD changed schools in September and went from a class of 5 girls and 3 boys to a mixed class of 30 children. Luckily the school kept her with one of her friends and they have been clinging to each other like lost souls ever since.
Up until last week she cried every day and looked as though someone has drained all the joy out of her. Then last week I went to a parents consultation evening and told her form teacher how upsetting it is to see her so unhappy. He said he wasn't aware that it was so bad, but thanked me for letting him know. He said would do what he could to make things easier.
Ever since that meeting things have improved. The teacher has moved DD & her friend to another maths set where they are sitting with different girls. She has been coming home telling me about her new friends. She has even been invited to a birthday party.
She has started going to a lunch-time club which she is enjoying and things are looking up.
Yesterday she came out of school with a group of girls all chatting happily, and she hasn't cried for 4 whole days. It's amazing what a difference a few days, and a word in the right ear, can do.
Good luck to your friend and her daughter.

Mumstheword · 9 November 2007 at 7:39PM

It may be that she is too shy to ask a friend home to tea, so could her mum approach someone else's mum (hard a high school, i know) and arrange a get together that way?

Savvy_Sue · 9 November 2007 at 8:19PM

Another suggestion which occurs to me from Mumstheword's comment is that if mum knows any other mums from the previous school, would it be worth phoning a) to see how they're getting on and b) to arrange a meet up for the girls? In a big school, you might not see your friends from your previous school, but if mum still has contact details then use them!