What do I do? Family know my business & its private!

Penny-Pincher!!

Hi Again

Sorry to bother you al again!

Right, I have just found out something about my care plan set up by the local council recently & dont know what to do

Basically, as you know I have been awarded 2-3 hrs per week domestic care, which is supposed to be starting this friday. Anyway, have just found out from my niece (who i see rarely as I cant stand my sister-in-law) that she works for this company doing care work. The way the niece said about her mum working for this company was quite out the blue, which leads me to believe that she knows.

I dont want anyone knowing my business and can only assume that most family members already know. I really dont get on well with her and have a starnge feeling thay my other sister in law works for them also.

They know Im not well but feel they have always be non-sympathetic and feel I am putting it on! This doesnt bother me etc but them knowing all my personal pruvate problems (incontinent etc) does!

How do I handle this? I am so upset. It has taken me ages to ask for help and when i do and it gets sorted-this happens :mad: Its so unfair.

If she has said anything to anyone-would this be breaking the data protection act as this info should be confidential? Should I call the care manager and explain situation? Both sister in laws are 2 faced and will make out us and them are fine.

Someone please advise me!

Penny-Pincher
XXXX

Mumstheword

It might be a good idea to speak to the manager. You could explain the situation, and ask them to make sure no-one related to you is ever sent to help you, and ask if they know you are receiving this help. If they don't, maybe you could request a change of care company. I fthey do, perhaps the manager could remind them of their obligations under the data protection act, and your right to not have them tell anybody else your business.

Knowing that you are eligible for this help might even persuade them that you are in fact telling the truth!

Hugs, and take care,
Mumxx

Savvy_Sue

Agree with Mum, think you should contact the care company ASAP. Details should of course be kept confidential but it can be hard: unless the company knew in advance that you had relatives working for them it might have been impractical for them not to disclose your name and address to their care workers, because they might be sitting down and working out whose existing workload fits best with your needs.

If that's what's happened, staff should not then have gone home and said to other family members "Guess who's got help from our company now?" - that is a breach of confidentiality. Having said that, I can imagine that people quite often do tell other family members the names of the people they're working for, just in the course of normal chit chat "Oh Emily was in such a funny mood today, she really made me laugh" etc. This hardly matters if the other person doesn't actually know who Emily is. But disclosing details of medical conditions WOULD be wrong.

It's how you'd establish what had been said that would be a problem: the best you may be able to get at this stage is a reminder to the care staff that ALL client details are absolutely confidential.

spendaholic

To put your mind at rest, speak to the company. I had to sign the official secrets act when I was working as a carer, and it's still in place 20 years later as you can't unsign it. So if it transpires that your relatives have gone home and shared this information - and if they have, it cant really be unshared - there should be an official investigation.

When I worked for a housing association my grandmother had to give up her new property because she was related to me (I would have kept it quiet but my mom blurted it out). So it may be that if you have relatives at this company you might not be eligible for help from them. This is something that needs to be taken into account before contacting them - but if they have a policy of not helping those who have relatives working for them, they should transfer you to somewhere else. If your relatives are vindcitive and know, they may tell the company themselves.

Penny-Pincher!!

Hi

Thanks for the replies!

Hubby called the care manager yesterday and yes both family members work for this company! One is not too bad but the other is a very bitter nasty piece of work and do not get on with her at all.

Care manager confirmed to hubby that they will not know personal details about my illnessess etc and will be a closed file. Just on a need to know basis-what to do round the home etc. Just them knowing I need help is too much info in my eyes.

I really cant deal with this at the moment so have decided to cancel the help from them and struggle on as we have been doing for the past few years. I have been up all night thinking about this. This may seem drastic to some people but feel I have no other choice.

Penny-Pincher!!
XXX

Becles

So sorry to hear that *big hugs*

I don't understand how these things work so this might not be helpful! Is there anywhere else you could get help from through the council? If not from the council, is there a charity/society related to your illness that could help?

Penny-Pincher!!

Hi Becles

Thanks for your nice words!

It all just seems so unfair. It has taken me ages to come to terms with my illnesses and just when Ive accepted a small amount of help...this happens!! This is my life in a "nutshell" basically.

I have never done anything to hurt anyone, suffered severe abuse as a child by several members of my family and feel that im still being abused (in another way) now. Ive tried hard to not become a "victim", be a decent person and do the right thing.

I am 30, have Lupus, FMS & mental health problems and have never asked for any kind of help before. Just been hubby, myself & daughter, but we have done it. It looks like this is going to continue for a while longer, but we have done it then and we can do it now.

This particular family member caused major problems within the family about 5 years ago. We exposed her other half for child abuse, not pleasant, but having lived through abuse myself for 14 years, I was not going to let another child suffer the way I did! In my eyes-if i hadnt of done anything for this child-I would be the same if not worse than the abuser! I could not have this on my conscience.

Im going to call at 9am and just explain the situation. I will not divulge info on family member. According to the handbook that I read last night several times-a criminal check and referances have been made on all staff-but doubt it in this case as both have criminal records and surely this firm is not that desperate for good hardworking staff.

Any pointers would be much apreciated.

Penny-Pincher!!
xxx

ribenagirl

what a difficult situation to find yourself in

It may feel complex, but from the care agency's point of view the solution is actually very simple (if they choose). They should not allow your relatives to have anything to do with your care. Anyone who has training in healthcare understands the unwritten rule that you do not treat or care for people you know. You just don't do it.

I'm assuming from the fact that you say you've been awarded care that you have a social worker who arranged the package? It might be worth having a word with them and asking them to sort it out because it is not good enough for them just to say the information is in a closed file on a 'need to know' basis - they need to be making sure that you do not get these people coming to your home!!!!

Good luck!

Edinburghlass_2

I do hope you get this sorted out and can start the care package they have sorted out for you.

Please be careful on what information you are posting here. A user name does not disguise everything and remember that many, many more people read these forums than ever post on them. Each little bit of information you post could well be linked to you quicker than any info held on files. It has been known for people to be recognised by others just from what they post on here.

jellyhead

i hope you can arrange to have the care you need without the people you're related to being involved - surely the care provider should be able to manage that? if they want to know your reasons explain about the criminal record held by one relative, say you don't want anyone with that kind of background coming into the house where your daughter lives.

if you need the care you should have it, stress free. *HUGS*

nickinoo

I can't offer any advice but just wanted to offer my support. Don't give in, push for another firm to do your caring if at all possible. Like someone else said if you have a support worker get them to deal with this on your behalf or could your husband do it for you.

Good luck, I will be thinking of you.