About to be fired for gross misconduct...need advise

Manxman_in_exile

Les79 wrote: »

*fist pump* cheers Rosemary for the bump!


OP, you state "I need counselling I think" and that's certainly worth exploring!


But more often than not a counsellor is someone who has a rich background in Psychology or some medical background and they've got the theoretical knowledge, which is good in itself, but they haven't ALWAYS got the real-life experience.


A place like AA is more about the "real-life experience" and less about the professional background.


They are both good in their own respects. But I personally feel that you need to give some thought to AA as well because of a few factors:


1. There is no waiting time. You literally find your local meeting and turn up. Easy peasy.


2. You'll meet people in the same boat as you.


3. You'll meet people in the same boat as you, but either 5 miles downstream or upstream.


4. You'll learn more about what alcohol does to you, both emotionally and physically (from a non medical perspective; ie real life experience)


I do genuinely hope that you make every effort to address this problem here and now.

A lot of the workers at CGL are not only qualified therapists, they've also overcome their own drink and drug issues. CGL will definitely recommend attending AA meetings (seven days a week if you find it helpful) but OP must persevere with CGL. OP will get a safe reduction plan and access to meds if necessary. They also (I think) have their own consultant psychiatrists specialising in substance abuse. They'll also liaise with GP.


EDIT CGL take what they describe as a psycho-social approach aimed at changing the client's behaviour and breaking old habits. CGL is quite holitic and kinked into the NHS whereas AA is (by it's anonymous nature) more isolated/insulated. But different strokes for different folks. I know people who swear by AA.


CGL also provide a structured programme of group sessions as well as one to ones with a case worker.

Les79

Manxman_in_exile wrote: »

I'm not sure myself as I suspect they are a self-selected group of people who are really motivated to stop drinking and hence are successful. Not dissing AA - I'm just saying it works for some people but not others. People also get put off a bit by the "religious" undertone and constant references to God. But most attendees say it's an acronym for "Group of Drunks" and most are atheists.

Well, that's one element. It has taken me 2 years of going to GA meetings to realise two things:


1. The "self-selected group of people who are really motivated to stop" attend meetings both for their own benefit but also (and more importantly) for the benefit of the new people who attend. Without them, GA/AA wouldn't exist because nobody would chair weekly meetings. It is surprisingly selfless to be fair.


2. You get what you put in from places like GA/AA. They are successful for those who put in genuine effort, and even then it takes a while for it to sink in. I'm not going to lie but I can count on one hand how many people have attended more than 20 meetings a year in my GA group as apposed to the many many countless people who have turned up for 1 or just a few meetings and then disappeared.


Regarding the references to god, I'm an atheist too but this has never phased me. To me, I see a 12-step program which was written many years ago when some people in a more religious time were having similar issues. The principle is the same, just gotta ignore the god references.

Les79

Manxman_in_exile wrote: »

A lot of the workers at CGL are not only qualified therapists, they've also overcome their own drink and drug issues. CGL will definitely recommend attending AA meetings (seven days a week if you find it helpful) but OP must persevere with CGL. OP will get a safe reduction plan and access to meds if necessary. They also (I think) have their own consultant psychiatrists specialising in substance abuse. They'll also liaise with GP.

Meh, well as long as OP gets help I'm not bothered.



But as a point, you said "a lot of the workers at CGL" which DOES NOT mean "all workers at CGL" so, in that respect, my comment which said " they haven't ALWAYS " is pretty much the same as what you've just said.

Manxman_in_exile

Hi Les79


(I've edited my last post and inadvertently cross posted with you).


I'm not arguing with you that AA is very successful - just that I don't think it's everybody's cup of tea.


CGL, I think, are more pro-active at getting people to change their behaviour(s). They will provide you with several different strategies (incl AA) to achieve this. Their view is that the more arrows you have for your bow the more likely you are to succeed. Of course, this approach may not be everyone's cup of tea either!


If AA works for the OP - use it. But keep with CGL too.


EDIT: The local NHS Care Commissioning Group took the drug and alcohol service away from the mental health trust I used to work for and awarded it to CGL. I understand that their tender and presentation was very impressive. Or maybe it was just cheaper!

System

Manxman_in_exile wrote: »

How do you come to that conclusion? (I'm assuming you are expanding on your reasons for the OP having a protected characteristic.) My GP has prescribed anti-depressants for me, but I certainly don't have a protected characteristic.

I think there is clearly evidence of a mental illneess and from what i can read up on:

You're disabled under the Equality Act 2010 if you have a physical or mental impairment that has a 'substantial' and 'long-term' negative effect on your ability to do normal daily activities.

if its substantial and affects his day to day life negatively it could come under that. I have bipolar and it definetly comes under it (also it has to be applied in the sense of what are you like without medication/aids-without mine i can;t function and even with them i'm very limited)/

Les79

Manxman_in_exile wrote: »

Hi Les79


(I've edited my last post and inadvertently cross posted with you).


I'm not arguing with you that AA is very successful - just that I don't think it's everybody's cup of tea.


CGL, I think, are more pro-active at getting people to change their behaviour(s). They will provide you with several different strategies (incl AA) to achieve this. Their view is that the more arrows you have for your bow the more likely you are to succeed. Of course, this approach may not be everyone's cup of tea either!


If AA works for the OP - use it. But keep with CGL too.


EDIT: The local NHS Care Commissioning Group took the drug and alcohol service away from the mental health trust I used to work for and awarded it to CGL. I understand that their tender and presentation was very impressive. Or maybe it was just cheaper!

Chill!


Listen, the most important thing is getting help in some form!!


CGL, AA and even the local GP are all useful tools to help address issues like this.


The truth of the matter is that OP probably needs AS MUCH help as they can get right now and, in my experience, self help groups are pretty good. I've sat in rooms with addicts who have been to counselling sessions and been stuck with people who don't *understand* the problems, hence supporting 12-step programmes. But that being said I do not deny that counselling or the likes of CGL cannot offer similar or better help.


It is all about treating stuff like this as an aggressive form of cancer. Kill it aggressively.

ds383

Would I even be entitled to ESA? because according to occupational health I don't have a health issue.

Savvy_Sue

ds383 wrote: »

Would I even be entitled to ESA? because according to occupational health I don't have a health issue.

The only way to find out is to apply.

Also, I mentioned your parents getting some support too: if there's any family support on offer through CGL then please encourage them to take it up, don't let any of your own worries about it stop you. And if there's nothing there, then point them to Al-Anon, even if you're not using AA.

Manxman_in_exile

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

The only way to find out is to apply.

Also, I mentioned your parents getting some support too: if there's any family support on offer through CGL then please encourage them to take it up, don't let any of your own worries about it stop you. And if there's nothing there, then point them to Al-Anon, even if you're not using AA.

The local CGL should have a support group for families, partners, spice etc.

Genuineguy03

Manxman

Its clear from the op's very first post. The first paragraph even.

Its also clear that the OPs anxiety effects his day to day life, and has do for a long time. Therefore it is a protected characteristics under equality act 2010. And also support in case law J v Piper 2010. Note don't necessary have to have suffered 12 months or more, just need to show how it effects your day to day life and that it is likely to continue long term.

Also if one suffers low moods along with there anxieties is known as clinical depression. Depression and anxiety usually go hand in hand. So if you have 1, you likely suffering from both to some degree.

People seem to be getting confused as to what is a mental illness and protected by the equality act, no doubt largely do to a certain tribunal claim made by a teacher called Mr merry (if remember correctly). He claimed his stress was a protected characteristics, however was unable to prove it effected his day to activities, other occasionally effecting his dyslexia (I have that, and when stressed it can be worse). Tribunal also found his stress was from his perceived unfair treatment at work. Basically he didn't like how he perceived he was being treated and felt he was being treated unfairly and refused to return to work.

However there is also another case that shows, in cases of anxiety and depression, that being advised by your GP to refrain from work is enough to show substantial effect on day to day activities Rayner v turning point.

Hope the above helps maxman.

OP put today behind you, follow the advice given here to getting support and you will beat this, trust me. As you said your anxiety is effected by social situations (I assume you mean mixing with others). I'd suggest you look at tackling that, by signing up to local community based part time educational courses or volunteering (the courses usually pay you a bursary for travel and food expenses that don't effect your benefits - well not uc) its a great way to get to know people and is actually good at combatting anxiety. Plus isolating yourself would only make things harder for you. The course providers can also offer students support with other things too via their student support workers.

You've already taken the hardest and biggest step, that being acknowledging you need help, now you just need to keep moving forward one step at a time.