About to be fired for gross misconduct...need advise

Comms69

ds383 wrote: »

Dismissed for GM. Gonna go and hang myself.

This was the most likely outcome. However I wouldn't do anything quite so permanent.


I'd suggest you take a few days and apply for benefits etc. Life will improve if you want it to.

Rosemary7391

Les79 wrote: »

Hey ds, do me a favour and have a look on this site: https://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/aa-meetings/find-a-meeting - Find your local meeting, trust me. It is a really good place to go and you'll find that you are far from alone in having to deal with things like this.


Also, if you want to chat to someone have a look here: https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/contact-us - It is a really good resource if you are feeling this way.


Trust me 100% it will get better, but you've got to take some positive steps to address it. Hate it when people say they want to commit suicide because I've seen it first hand; but it is not the way out of this mess! Trust me. It only causes more pain and grief that you could possibly imagine You've got time and experience (uni qualification) on your side and with support can very easily turn it around.

OP, please have another look at this post, especially the middle paragraph. Please have a quick chat with them.

ds383

ugh, can't do it. I'd break my mothers heart. If I had no family it would be so easy though. Thanks for the replies all.

nicechap

This is the kick up the backside you need - it may not seem nice at the moment but this is where you can start to sort out the rest of your life - use the above posts and links to help you.

Best of British to you.

Sncjw

As I said earlier you need to address what causes the anxiety then you can develop coping mechanism that doesn’t involve drinking.

LilElvis

Now your parents are aware of your problem at least you won't be tackling it alone. Losing your job isn't the end, it's the start of you making yourself well again and forging a new life. Wishing you good luck.

ds383

Sncjw wrote: »

You ignored or missed my post.

Can I ask what is it you want your work to do in regards of support?

Surely you should have sought help when you got the sack from the police due to drinking.

As I have said in the past a person can’t chnage unless they want to and ready for it.

You seem to think other people need to do it. Plus your making excuses for drinking saying it’s not much. Drinking before work and during is bad.

I think you need to solve the underlying reasons for why you drink. Your anxiety. What is it tht triggers it. Then try and solve that trigger. This will help you reduce your alcohol consumption because you won’t need it.

I think you have to relearn coping mechanism for what ever triggers your anxiety then you won’t need the alcohol to cope with it.

I was hoping they'd give me some time off to get help for my anxiety and drinking. I was in denial about my drinking problem back then, I saw it as a temporary solution which has now got out of hand. I've only recently admitted to myself and the people around me that it's an issue.

Yeah, I need counselling I think.My anxiety is triggered in social situations. If I didn't have to leave the house I wouldn't drink at all.

Manxman_in_exile

You say you are already in contact with Change, Grow, Live.


You must engage with them and in particular with case worker assigned to you;


Lots of people swear by AA - they apparently have the most successful record in stopping people drinking.


I'm not sure myself as I suspect they are a self-selected group of people who are really motivated to stop drinking and hence are successful. Not dissing AA - I'm just saying it works for some people but not others. People also get put off a bit by the "religious" undertone and constant references to God. But most attendees say it's an acronym for "Group of Drunks" and most are atheists.


If you search the link you'll find loads of different meetings covering every day of the week, Some do Christmas Day.


Now you've been sacked, sort out the drinking. Losing your job is the least of your worries. Don't use it as an excuse to keep drinking (or drinking more!)

Les79

Rosemary7391 wrote: »

OP, please have another look at this post, especially the middle paragraph. Please have a quick chat with them.

*fist pump* cheers Rosemary for the bump!


OP, you state "I need counselling I think" and that's certainly worth exploring!


But more often than not a counsellor is someone who has a rich background in Psychology or some medical background and they've got the theoretical knowledge, which is good in itself, but they haven't ALWAYS got the real-life experience.


A place like AA is more about the "real-life experience" and less about the professional background.


They are both good in their own respects. But I personally feel that you need to give some thought to AA as well because of a few factors:


1. There is no waiting time. You literally find your local meeting and turn up. Easy peasy.


2. You'll meet people in the same boat as you.


3. You'll meet people in the same boat as you, but either 5 miles downstream or upstream.


4. You'll learn more about what alcohol does to you, both emotionally and physically (from a non medical perspective; ie real life experience)


I do genuinely hope that you make every effort to address this problem here and now.

Manxman_in_exile

Genuineguy03 wrote: »

Mental health - Anxiety, likely depression too. He/she's prescribed medication for it by their doctor - therefore has been diagnosed. So his mental health is the comptibutory factor to Hus drinking, there's probably an underlying cause to his mental health issues such as something in his/her past.

How do you come to that conclusion? (I'm assuming you are expanding on your reasons for the OP having a protected characteristic.) My GP has prescribed anti-depressants for me, but I certainly don't have a protected characteristic.