Have you ever had to borrow money to get to the end of the month just to pay for essentials?

DCFC79

Blackbeard_of_Perranporth wrote: »

No.

Not even when on ESA after my heart attack.

Your heart attack, my condolences, I hope your recovering well.

kay0601

When I was in an abusive relationship with my ex I took out numerous payday loans to make ends meet. He’d gamble most of it but I’d get enough to buy formula for my daughter and just about keep gas and electric on the meters. Once I left I sat to putting payment plans in place for everything- the payday loans, credit cards and a personal loan (all in my name of course ����!♀️) and cleared it all asap. I left January 2014 and I finally cleared the last bit of my personal loan October ‘17. Not got any debt now except for the £50 or so I put on a Vanquis card to rebuild my credit (always pay it in full).

K80_Black

kay0601 wrote: »

When I was in an abusive relationship with my ex I took out numerous payday loans to make ends meet. He’d gamble most of it but I’d get enough to buy formula for my daughter and just about keep gas and electric on the meters. Once I left I sat to putting payment plans in place for everything- the payday loans, credit cards and a personal loan (all in my name of course ����!♀️) and cleared it all asap. I left January 2014 and I finally cleared the last bit of my personal loan October ‘17. Not got any debt now except for the £50 or so I put on a Vanquis card to rebuild my credit (always pay it in full).

I'm glad you got out of that relationship.

Similarly, I was with an abusive partner who spent ~£40 per day on alcohol, on my credit cards. I was living constantly up to the limit of them, even going without gas and electricity sometimes - sitting by candlelight in an unheated house all winter. Now the sound electricity meters make when they run low makes me feel uncomfortable and like I am in his presence again. If mine gets to £5 credit remaining, it's time to top up!

Thankfully, I was given a back payment of disability benefits whilst I was in refuge, which cleared my credit cards and let me start again. Since then I've managed to stay out of debt, and even build up a small amount of savings.

Money_Advice_Service

Thank you for sharing your experience and happy to see that things are hopefully now on a better footing and you are able to move forward with your life. Glad to see you paying the outstanding credit balance in full at the end of the month.

For those who are in a relationship where your partner is controlling your money or running up debts in your name help is available. Everyone has the right to financial independence.

Women’s Aid can offer help and support if you’re experiencing financial abuse. In England go onto the Women’s Aid website or call the Freephone 24 Hour National Domestic Violence Helpline (run in partnership between Women’s Aid and Refuge) on 0808 2000 247.

There is also a Men’s Advice Line on 0808 8010 327. It’s free from landlines and most mobile phones. They can also provide emotional support, practical advice and can signpost you to other services for specialist help.

(MAS-Andrew - DipPFS) #talkmoney

Tallaght

I assume most people waiting 6 weeks or more for their Universal Credit claim are in the same position.

Money_Advice_Service

With regard financial abuse and the introduction of Universal Credit in England, Wales and Scotland, several existing benefits and tax credits are being combined into a single monthly payment. Couples who live together will make a joint claim for Universal Credit and it will usually be paid into one bank account.

When you make your claim you will be asked which bank account you want to have your money paid into. If you and your partner do not agree on an account for your Universal Credit payments, then the Jobcentre Plus will nominate one. If you’re worried about your partner controlling all your benefit income and leaving you (and your children) without any cash, you should ask someone at the Jobcentre if you can have your Universal Credit paid into your own account or split into separate payments. That way, you will get money for yourself (and your children) and your partner will get a separate payment.

This is an option for anyone in ‘exceptional circumstances’, for example anyone who is at risk of domestic or financial abuse.

(MAS - Andrew DipPFS) #talkmoney

Robisere

Once only, for some months. I had met and married a wonderful lady, second chance for both of us. I was working in a good post as workshop foreman of a large garage, when an injury from some years ago caught up with me after a fall and finally destroyed my C4 vertebra. Shortly afterwards, my wife, a PA working for 3 managers, had a scheduled operation for a Trigger Finger: a simple procedure, or should have been. The surgeon cut her for a Carpal Tunnel, realised his mistake, and made a mess of the sutures and ligaments, before making another mess of the Trigger Finger. A PA controlling 3 workstations and 3 offices without her right hand, is not possible. Both of us were registered Disabled, but it took months to get anything from the DLA or DWP. In my case, 13 months before I received Incapacity and DLA. We were paying a mortgage. Without my wonderful in-laws, we would have eventually been homeless. I worked and saved to pay them back, dspite FIL saying it did not matter.



We never, ever forgot that time. I attended a 12 month course at a Disability College, whilst also studying at a local Technical College at weekends. I managed to get another, very different job at a local Council Office, but collapsed after 18 months with spinal nerve damage and was retired through ill health. I set about becoming a self-employed designer and printer of business stationery and anything else I could get. I made a very good living until eventual full retirement. Meanwhile, my wife worked in a carpet factory as a receptionist. Every penny we could spare was put away: we never wanted to be in that position again.


Since then we have been careful but not stingy: if we want something, we save for it. We have one Credit Card and we pay it off shortly before it's due. We have as active a social life as we can (I am undergoing Chemotherapy at 73) and we enjoy our family.


Lesson from this? Once you start to spend what you do not have the resources to support, you are on your way down.

K80_Black

Money_Advice_Service wrote: »

With regard financial abuse and the introduction of Universal Credit in England, Wales and Scotland, several existing benefits and tax credits are being combined into a single monthly payment. Couples who live together will make a joint claim for Universal Credit and it will usually be paid into one bank account.

When you make your claim you will be asked which bank account you want to have your money paid into. If you and your partner do not agree on an account for your Universal Credit payments, then the Jobcentre Plus will nominate one. If you’re worried about your partner controlling all your benefit income and leaving you (and your children) without any cash, you should ask someone at the Jobcentre if you can have your Universal Credit paid into your own account or split into separate payments. That way, you will get money for yourself (and your children) and your partner will get a separate payment.

This is an option for anyone in ‘exceptional circumstances’, for example anyone who is at risk of domestic or financial abuse.

(MAS - Andrew DipPFS) #talkmoney

This is actually a huge problem with UC that is still somehow going on. When it was announced, I remember plenty of people pointing out the problems with joint payments.

It's all well and good saying 'ask to have it split into your account' - what they don't say is how to deal with the drunken man brandishing a broken bottle at you because 'his' money has suddenly gone down.

When financial abuse is taking place, another form of abuse often is.

PasturesNew

No. I'm happy to go without if I run out of money .... and, over the years, I've simply learnt to "keep your head down, go without, don't buy anything or do anything" because you don't know the next time you might be a bit short.

As a single income household I'd find that one "disaster" per year can take a year to recover from financially .... so you can't spend anything extra for a year "in case you get a disaster" - and as you tend to .... you never get to the point where you can actually buy things, do things, go places.... or ever get to the point of committing to financial liabilities.

Personally, in this modern world, there's been a trend towards everybody "signing contracts" for everything; we never used to sign any contracts years ago.

Rent a flat, no contract like an AST, you paid the rent, moved in, when you wanted to leave you gave notice.

Phones - all on contracts these days.

Utilities/switch - only if you pick a deal and sign a contract.

Now it's car leasing of all things!

When the !!!! hits the fan people are locked into contracts they signed and didn't realise and can't get out of ....

If all such/similar contracts were banned, so people in distress could get out of them at the drop of a hat, like we used to be able to do.... it'd make for an easier life for those in trouble.

Money_Advice_Service

Your absolutely right! financial abuse can often mean other types of abuse as well. The important thing to remember that their is help and support available. Please see my previous post for details where this this support maybe available.

If you want to leave your partner, there are a series of steps you can take to ensure your safety and make sure your finances will be as manageable as possible:
Contact a family law solicitor.
Keep a record of each incident. Take photographs of any physical harm to you, your home or things you own.
Report each incident to your local police and doctor so that they keep a record
Make a safety plan in case you need to leave your home in an emergency.

You might be able to get legal aid to help pay the costs of legal advice for taking legal action to protect you and your children. Look for a solicitor who takes legal aid cases.

If you want to separate from your partner, try and gather together important paperwork before you need to leave.

Finally if you need to get cash in an emergency and you have to leave in a hurry and you have no access to cash, contact your local authority (or the devolved administration in Wales) to see if they can help you with emergency support.

If you live in England visit the Children’s Society website to find your local welfare assistance scheme.
If you live in Wales, find out whether you qualify for an Emergency Assistance Payment from the Welsh Government from the Discretionary Assistance Fund.
If you live in Northern Ireland, go to the Northern Ireland Government website for information about Finance Support.
If you live in Scotland, find out whether you can get a Crisis Grant from the Scottish Welfare Fund on the Scottish Government website.

(MAS-Andrew DipPFS) #talkmoney