New horizons living the dream. How?

Lifeofdreams

I agree re parents. I also want to be able to spend more quality time with them. I am always tired by the time I see them. They are incredibly understanding but I do feel guilty.

My plan is to try and save and make changes to our lifestyle. I also need to be more mindful of what money goes on. I will be trying to live more frugally in an attempt to reduce outgoings/increase savings to be able to reduce hours.

There is no potential for job share/part time I Have requested now on a number of occasions. It does not meet the needs of the business at present and also I would still have the long commute albeit for less days.

Thank you for your pearls off wisdom and support. Take care and enjoy your evening.

Siebrie

Lifeofdreams, what you need is 'f*ck you' money, so that when you reach the point of enough, you can actually leave.

PipneyJane

Siebrie wrote: »

Lifeofdreams, what you need is 'f*ck you' money, so that when you reach the point of enough, you can actually leave.

May I second this statement!

Apologies if I am late to the party. I only found this thread today. Lifeofdreams, you are not the only one who works long hours and commutes long distances. In my case, having lived the job for four years, I was abruptly made redundant in 2016 and had to re-establish myself and my career. I didn't realise what stress I was under until I'd left it.

One of your posts implies that you do a lot of work in your own time, i.e. on the weekend. Keep a log of it. Also, try to learn to say "No" to impossible deadlines and demands. Use your log as evidence that you are already doing far too much and cannot spare the time to do whatever it is that they want on top.

(I'm Finance, so I know that the deadlines in the Finance calendar are immovable but everything else can whistle as far as I'm concerned now. I once wrote an email to my boss saying: these are my deadlines, these items are my priorities and this is the remainder of my to do list. What do you think I should ignore to do the task you have just set?)

Speaking of calendars: is there anything you can do in advance to relieve the stress on your time or is your job highly reactive?

Do you commute by train or do you drive? If the former, then that may be adding to your stress levels. Can you knit on the train? Or do mindfulness exercises via an app on your phone? (Personally, I knit, listen to podcasts or audiobooks, read books on the Kindle app, and generally switch off from the world.)

If the latter, if you left 10 minutes earlier or later would that impact the time it takes to get to work/get home? In one job, I found that if I left work before 5.15pm, I'd get home before 6. If I left it until 5.30pm, I'd get home at 7.15pm. If I waited until 6.30pm, I'd still get home at 7.15pm, so I waited and used the extra time to study for an additional qualification.

Are you doing any exercise? It burns off the stress hormones as well as strengthening your body. Exercise will help you sleep better. No time to exercise? There are short, sub-10 minute workouts that use High Intensity Interval Training which will make a big difference. Google the Seven Minute Total Body Workout for one example. The Yoga Studio app also has short 10-15 minutes sessions which you can use to de-stress, strengthen or stretch your body.

Given your working hours and commute, you need to make your home life as stress free and organised as possible, in order to cope with your job. Have you heard of the "Ten Minute Rule" for housework? I can't remember where I learned of it but, essentially, it goes like this: do one task and one task only for 10 minutes, say doing the dishes. Set a timer and, when it goes off, finish whatever dishes are in the sink then pull the plug and move onto the next task/something else. It works well for decluttering, gardening or cleaning the house (rotate rooms/tasks to do a different on each day). The theory is that you will achieve far more over a week or month in a short focused session done daily than in an hour or two done every-other-weekend.

HTH

- Pip

suki1964

Life of Dreams, re the sleep, are you menopausal age?

I ask because I too have had life long problems with sleep, in my 20s and 30s it wasn't unknown for me to go perhaps 3 nights a week with no sleep at all, then when I stopped working full time, I got in the habit of taking a wee nap when I felt tired and sleeping between 1 and 6 am. Then along came the menopause and my sleep has gone to pot again

Finally in desperation, as I was so anxious and forgetful and walking around in a fog I spoke to my GP and she said it really is very common and put me on tablets to reduce my anxiety.

My sleep is still disturbed - night sweats - but Im getting to sleep, last night I slept 9pm till 6am and only woke twice. I do still get the odd night where I make do on 3 hours, but I can have my nap if I need it

Its worth talking to your GP. Mine has said I can go on to HRT and other stuff as well to help, but so far Im managing

Lifeofdreams

Dear PipneyJane

Thank you for your suggestions and support. Could not agree more re having an organised home life and love 10 minute timer idea.

I maximise my commute time so it is as productive as possible. Combine driving and getting train. There is some autonomy with my work but I am also tied to a lot of deadlines that I have little control over. Really like your suggestions.

Ultimately I need to reduce my hours and this has become evident of late. I have taken holidays over the xmas period to think and plan my next steps. I started to de-clutter a few weeks ago and have made good progress given the limited time I have so need to continue and resist replacing with other things!!

I have not tracked spends yet but need to do this. I am aware that I spend unnecessarily because I am so busy.

I have greatly appreciated the support I have received so far on the forum including your suggestions. Thank you and I hope you have a fantastic time over the festive season.😃😃

Lifeofdreams

Dear PipneyJane

Thank you for your suggestions and support. Could not agree more re having an organised home life and love 10 minute timer idea.

I maximise my commute time so it is as productive as possible. Combine driving and getting train. There is some autonomy with my work but I am also tied to a lot of deadlines that I have little control over. Really like your suggestions.

Ultimately I need to reduce my hours and this has become evident of late. I have taken holidays over the xmas period to think and plan my next steps. I started to de-clutter a few weeks ago and have made good progress given the limited time I have so need to continue and resist replacing with other things!!

I have not tracked spends yet but need to do this. I am aware that I spend unnecessarily because I am so busy.

I have greatly appreciated the support I have received so far on the forum including your suggestions. Thank you and I hope you have a fantastic time over the festive season.😃😃

Lifeofdreams

Dear Suki

You are tight part of my sleep disturbance is related to menopause however y GP has been excellent and px me HRT as she knows the demands I have. HRT great at first for sleep but now stress of all demands seems to be keeping me awake most nights. It will be interesting to see if when I am on leave my sleep is any better. Have a great xmas ands new year Suki.

😄😄

Lifeofdreams

Hi I just wanted to thank all who have taken the time to reply to my posts and offer some great advice and support. I feel I am just at the start of my journey with this so it has been great to read your posts/replies. Wishing you all greetings over the festive season. Xxxx😫😫😘

jackieblack

Enjoy your time off Lifeofdreams

The luxury of time, and a peaceful space in which to take stock and appreciate the things that are most important, like health and family, is a gift far more valuable than any material luxuries.

Wishing you a restful and restorative festive break :xmastree: :rudolf:

happyandcontented

I think you get to a point where income v time becomes a real issue. I have just decided to reduce my hours after having the thought on the back burner for months. I made a decision, emailed my boss and it was done (to my surprise)she understood completely and said she was looking to do the same thing shortly herself! So from January, I will be working 23 hours pw!! and it feels great.

Merry Christmas to everyone and perhaps we should all use this downtime to take stock and to make any changes we feel will help us feel happier and healthier?