New horizons living the dream. How?

Lifeofdreams

Hi all
I have realised over the last few years that I am living to work and not working to live. I work in a Professional capacity in a demanding role with a long daily commute. Throughout the years I have had to juggle family, children, continuous studying and have been proud of my achievements and career. But..... I am getting older, children have left home and there is me and my DH at home now. We are too young to retire and could not afford to, however feel as if we have no work life life balance. It feels like we are stuck in a never ending cycle of work, commute, housework, making sure elderly parents are alright and checking in with adult children, rinse and repeat!

The only way I can think of changing this is and get off the hamster wheel is to simplify my life.

I would love to reduce my hours/change to another less pressurised role perhaps and have more time to spend with my family and friends instead of feeling permanently exhausted. This would mean significant changes to our lifestyle but would be worth it. The luxury of working part time would be worth making the changes. With this in mind I am hoping that some lovely posters will be able to keep me accountable for making the necessary changes required. I need to live more frugally to achieve my goal and need to think about how to do this.

Would love to hear from anyone who has made similar changes and how they managed 😄

Blackbeard_of_Perranporth

I’m here once. I enjoy it. I earn pennies and then go on holidays. Just me and OH. As long as they pay me I’m happy. When they don’t, time to retire..

As for going part time, you’ll dry up. After a week, you will be yearning to go back..

So do the holidays. Great deals are available. We’re doinf SAN Francisco next March. £4,000. Then another £4,000 when there. Enjoy it!

bexster1975

Hello and welcome

I did something similar. I now work for myself, but mostly only part time. A few things to consider practically:

What is the minimum you need to earn ( individually or as a household) to meet your minimum expenses. This may vary depending on what is negotiable and what isn't.

What would you prefer? Reduce hours in current role or switch job? Are both an option? Can you earn the number in the previous question doing either?

I think the real issue is what you want from life. I've been lucky as I've earnt more than I needed for quite some time. As a result, I was able to quit a job that had long and stressful hours last December and not worked full time since. The only regret is I didn't do it earlier.

My relationships have benefitted from the extra time I have for them, I have had more time for hobbies, interests, relaxation, exercise.

Part of my decision came from ill health, which has massively improved. The other came from clearing the mortgage. I'm now working to develop the business so that I won't need to do much work at all to cover costs. At that point I'd like to travel and develop the business in a different direction.

The great thing is, I can do it at my own pace, however I want.

I agree that getting off the hamster wheel is a huge relief.

I shall follow with interest.

Bexster

PollyWollyDoodle

I was in this position, and I have traded the well-paid but very stressful job to work from home, being self-employed. I am on about a third of what I used to take home but I've never been happier.

I can honestly say that I haven't really missed the money, when you are not working full time and commuting long-distance you really don't need as much. I was spending a lot of taxed income on train fares, clothes for work, and coffee and lunches because I felt I deserved a treat.

I would spend some time working out your absolute minimum budget (including an allowance for holidays, saving, trips out etc). Could you live on this for a year, allowing you to save some funds towards your future plans?

Once you've got your budget worked out, look at any areas where you can reduce costs. The first thing I did was to switch my utility bills, for example, saving a huge amount - I'd always been too busy to look at it before. In my last year at work I made a point of taking my own lunch every day, not buying coffee etc and seeing how much I could save.

Life is short, and as said above, my only regret is that I didn't do this sooner.

Lifeofdreams

Thank you all for the great advice and sharing your experiences. Wow Blackbeard San Fransisco a holiday to look forward to. Thanks for your thoughts about pt work.

Bexter thank you for sharing your experiences and the great advice. I would love to set up my own business but do not have an idea and not sure what my skills would lend themselves too. Going part time in my current role is not an option I have asked before.

Polly woo thank you for your advice and great to hear that both you and Bexter have no regrets about your decision to give up stressful jobs. I am regularly awake at silly o hour worrying about work and know it is impacting upon my health. You are so right about the money used from commuting, clothes, coffees, not being able to look for better deals.

So thank you all and I will start acting upon the advice you have given and will keep posting. It is my aim to have made the changes by September 2019. Thank you so much for your advice and words of support. I am off to drink my herbal tea and have another attempt at getting some sleep. Night all��

bexster1975

Sorry to see you were up at silly o'clock.

The timescale sounds very doable. You don't have to work for yourself, just a change of job and hours will be a huge change. In the meantime, a good safety buffer of emergency fund would be useful to save in the next ten months. September is a great month to choose. I always see it as a New Year ( mostly due to teaching).

Will look forward to your posts and progress.

Bexster

buildersdaughter

There is a lot to consider, including pensions, NI contributions,housing and so on. Sounds like you need some thinking space.
I suggest that you and OH book a block of time off (if just a day or two) just for yourselves, to talk and investigate. If you have time off over Xmas could you take a couple of days without visiting family?
You say that work will not consider a part-time option. What about a sabbatical or unpaid leave? That would give you a chance to try the idea without commitment, and might make work re-think their attitude to part-time.
Depending on your skill set, you could just think about jumping now and getting part-time / casual work. However, the kind of low-paid casual work that tops up a pension nicely may not be enough to replace a proper income.

C_J

Does your employer consider flexible working? Perhaps you could make a case for it as you have elderly parents you need to support. Working two days a week from home would remove the lengthy commute and ease the stress considerably.

It might be worth asking the question, your employer may be surprisingly accommodating!

suki1964

I gave up a well paid job, great pension, good perks etc 18 years ago and have never looked back

I actually had a breakdown so just walked away. Took about a year for me to feel well enough to think about going out earning again, but also knew because of my health I couldn't be tied to a 9-5 Mon to Fri job again so ever since then I have worked in low paid zero hour contract jobs. Ive done market research, stock auditing, bar/waitressing, chef and right now Im doing veg preparation. Nothing glamorous, nothing that keeps me awake worrying, all jobs that I go in, do my work and come home. If Im not 100% I cut down my hours, if I feel good I take on more hours. Last week I worked 45hrs, this week its going to be around 20

We paid our mortgage off 4 years ago and since then Mr Suki has also cut his hours back to 3 days a week as now our only monthly outgoings are rates, electric , oil, insurance and car costs

We have nice cars, we have holidays, we treat the kids, we treat ourselves

Not working all week saves a fortune in commuting costs, work clothes, food out of the house, expensive ready meals and takeaways. Ive cut my grocery bill down to an average of £35 a week for three of us, when I first started this journey it was £60 a week for 2 of us. Ive managed this by cooking nearly everything from scratch, buying cheaper cuts that take a long slow cook, shopping in lidl and yellow sticker shopping

I have the time to search for better deals on insurance and holidays and bigger purchases, we never pay more then we have to for anything

We shop in charity shops a lot now and we recycle as much as we can within the home. Right now we are building an extension and we have even bagged up the sand the removed paving bricks were laid on to reuse when they need relaying. Whatever bricks not needed will be sold, not skipped. We collect the pallets from my work and Mr Suki chops them up for free fuel for us, and kindling that we sell. Thats a bit extreme for most but its an added income for us. We also have hens which are self sufficient as we sell the surplus eggs. We also grow some veg with varying success

We have our meals out still, only we either go at lunchtime or take advantage of early bird offers. We go to the cinema on half price Tuesdays. We go to all the free events that interest us ( theres loads here as its a tourist area but most councils have something on ) We bought cycles so we can explore local beauty spots or just get out for a bit of fresh air.

We lead a simpler, but much busier life. We have helped rear our grandchildren, we actually play more a part in their lives then we did the kids as we have TIME. If they want to come stay, its never a problem because one or the other, or both of us it at home

So we are never going to be the type of pensioners who get to do the world cruise, but we will have enough to live on and a roof over our heads and a family that we are connected with

MandM90

Hello lifeofdreams,

How in control of your finances are you? Have you tried a budgeting programme like YNAB (you need a budget)? We, and lots others on the boards, use it and find it gives us so much more freedom!

Grumpelstiltskin

You say your children are grown up. could you downsize?

A small house or bungalow with a reasonable sized garden so you could grow your own.

Don't think you need a couple of spare bedrooms in case family come to stay, you don't, there are always ways round that.


What you do need is a simple inexpensive lifestyle.

Oh and I left full time work 40 years ago when my employer wouldn't accept part time. I have survived perfectly well since.