New horizons living the dream. How?

[Deleted User]

I knew a man who was a project manager and so busy with work that holidays etc were impossible. At retirement time his company begged him for another two years to finish a major project. He promised his wife if she allowed him to finish he would take her on an around the world cruise to make up for all the missed times.


He completed the two years and after his retirement ' do' they got back home and she told him to go through to the lounge and she would bring a hot drink.


You've guessed it , she took the drinks through and yes he was dead in his chair.


They never did have the memorable holiday.

bexster1975

Terrible story. Not uncommon. Working to death. What a great life that must be for people. I think a lot of people's self worth is also tied up in their jobs. It often defines people ( I find more often men) which must make it hard to let go too.

Bexster

jackieblack

bexster1975 wrote: »

I think a lot of people's self worth is also tied up in their jobs. It often defines people ( I find more often men) which must make it hard to let go too.

Bexster

I agree
I know a lot of people who, if you said to them "Tell me about yourself", the first thing they would tell you is what their job is.
To me, that's what you do, not who you are.

Lifeofdreams

Dear 117 Pauline. Thank you for your support. Time out house sitting in Spain sounds wonderful but I agree it can be easier to keep on the treadmill especially when you are too tired to think things through. Ultimately though i need to make the changes as I am worried about burnout. I am glad you are feeling strong enough to start to work out what you want. It's not an easy process.

JackieBlack I loved the story and this resonated really strongly with me. I have drafted up a budget of the minimum we could live on, so a bit of a step forward! DH and I need time now to consider our future plan. I don't think we can do this properly until we are off at xmas.

My attempts at tracking this week have not been great because of the volume of work and lack of sleep, so will try again this week. I am however determined to make sure food is more organised so our diet is better and we cut down on our food budget.

I have been thinking about what's important to me and do far have come up with the following;-
Spending time with family/friends
Coffee with family friends
The occasional meal out
Lots of walks
Knitting
Reading

I would like to do some travel but just want the time do normal everyday things first.

It is strange when you have to stop to think about what you like and who you are? My identity has been completely tied into my job.

LessonLearned I love your idea of a champagne lifestyle on a budget I think that's a great goal to aim for. Bexter and Jackie thank also for your support and ideas. Sorry if I have left anyone out. Have a great Sunday evening and I will keep posting as my thoughts unravel!

jackieblack

Lifeofdreams wrote: »

I have been thinking about what's important to me and do far have come up with the following;-
Spending time with family/friends
Coffee with family friends
The occasional meal out
Lots of walks
Knitting
Reading

The good thing is that all of these can be achieved without necessarily costing a fortune

Lifeofdreams wrote: »

It is strange when you have to stop to think about what you like and who you are? My identity has been completely tied into my job.

You're right, it is strange - my identity was completely tied into being wife/mum. I'm slightly concerned it's now sliding into being 'mad cat lady' :rotfl:

Awareness is the first step towards making a change. It can be easy to be so focussed on moving forward in one direction that you don't always consider the benefits of taking a different path, or even that the other paths are accessible to you.
Now you're aware and considering where the other paths might lead and you can see that they might well take you somewhere wonderful

Small steps, like eating better, are all small victories.
However busy you are, try and take a few minutes each day (even if it's while you're in the shower, if that's the only time you have) to visualise the alternative life you want. It'll keep you motivated until you have time to make proper plans

candygirl

jackieblack wrote: »

I agree
I know a lot of people who, if you said to them "Tell me about yourself", the first thing they would tell you is what their job is.
To me, that's what you do, not who you are.

I really hate that:mad:

Lifeofdreams

Hello all

Sorry have not posted for a while. Work has been extra demanding and so not achieved as much as I would have liked to nor posted as often as would have liked.

I have tried to track spends but need to make greater effort with this.
Have managed to buy most of xmas presents just need to wrap.
Need to write out xmas cards hopefully will get this completed today.

I have started to do a rigorous de-clutter. My thinking behind this is that the less clutter I have the less time I will spend looking/caring for "stuff". I have managed to sort out items for charity shop and tidy all fitted wardrobes.

I would love to get house fully de-cluttered by xmas but may be over ambitious in reality with time I have before then. New year may be better target date as I have a week off work.

House is tidy and clean we manage to just about keep on top of it! But I have to admit there is some slight chaos lurking behind cupboard doors!!😊

One of the challenges will be sorting my paperwork out! I never seem to have time to file it properly!

I am also trying to make sure we eat what is left in freezer and cupboards before buying more food and then can take stock properly of what I need to get.

It has struck me this last week how much DH and I waste on coffee in coffee shops. I love nice coffee and cake but think we do this too often. This needs to be reduced greatly. Incidentally it has stopped feeling like such a treat because of the regularity we do it.

I am also thinking if may be good idea to take weekly budget out in cash to keep us on track as DH and i pay contactless for most things.

Making a nice roast dinner for a change as have days holiday on Monday so a bit of extra time.

Have a great Sunday everyone.😄

PollyWollyDoodle

You are absolutely right to focus on decluttering. It will make life much simpler, cleaning is easier, and I really wish I had done it when I was working full time.

Regarding the coffee, my friend (who is an accountant) once sent me a spreadsheet showing how much I would save over a year if I gave up my daily coffee! It was meant partly in jest, but it did make me realise how much we spend on these little things. I think you need some indulgences or treats in life, but I cut down to having a coffee only on Friday and using the very good coffee machine at work on the other days. These days, coffee 'out' is a rare and very enjoyable treat.

With your work being so busy and Christmas approaching don't place too much pressure on yourself; even little steps will help.

lessonlearned

I think It takes time to make big lifestyle changes unless of course they are suddenly forced on you. I think you are doing well.

Decluttering is a good place to start although I do
Find that to be an ongoing process rather than a one off. Maybe I have not been ruthless enough. Lol.

I think more sleep and better food choices is a good start so try not to get too despondent. Rome wasn’t built in a day. You are doing well. Just stay focussed and you’ll get there.

One step at a time.

suki1964

Dont panic about the decluttering, I started at the beginning of the year and still haven't put my office back together, not made a start on the wardrobes - both things I promised myself would get done

But hey ho, the bits I have done have stayed tidy

Ive given up on the Sunday roasts at the moment , as for me the run up to Christmas is manic and Ive switched it to a weekday when Im either off or have half day ( I officially only work 2 full days and 2 half days in 7, but December Im lucky if I get 1 day off in 7 )

Coffee shop coffee for me is a rare treat, had one yesterday on the go, was delicious and I loved every mouthful because it was the first one I had had since middle of September ( both times were on the way to hairdresser) Yesterday I was supposed to be Christmas shopping but instead had a me afternoon getting hair and eyebrows done - £20 - every 3 months - a bargain ( used to spend £50 on a cut every six weeks when I worked and Id hate to think how much I spent on hair removal )

Cos now I don't have to be perfectly groomed all the time, thats more huge savings. I do my own hair removal , just getting the eyebrows reshaped for £6 every few months and my hairdresser is fantastic , works on her own from a portacabin at the back of a tattoo artist shop so has very little outlay so can do a wash cut and blow dry for £15. Where as before I was going to a named highstreet salon where you were given wine or coffee and it was all high tec and glossy - which is why it cost £50. Same with my eyebrows, I get threaded by a lady who has a chair in a mall. Does a fantastic job. Im no longer paying for the posh, plush beauty parlour overheads

Little changes that save a fortune over the year, that enable me not to work full time but have the lifestyle I want