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Child Maintenance - Court Order or Reality?

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Hi,

My ex-Wife and I have a child together aged 13 years.

A court order from a decade ago states:

1. Both have Shared Residency
2. Father (myself) has contact every weekend Fri-Sat, Fri-Sun, Fri-Sat, Fri-Sun and so on.

Accordingly, I have since been paying my ex-wife Child Maintenance voluntarily, based on the above, however, in reality, he lives with me, and has been for the past 5 years and he sees mum when he sees fit for one or two nights on weekends or perhaps one or two nights a month.


Being the parent with main day-to-day responsibilities, surely I shouldn’t have to pay Child Maintenance based on an out-of-date contact order but just the days he visits his mum i.e. 4 days a month.

On paper, it shows, she is the parent day-to-day responsibilities and claiming child benefits etc. but in reality, it’s not.

Can I just stop paying Child Maintenance and pay for the days he visits her? I’m certain she’ll retaliate but the school and social services are aware of this reality. I also pay for the school-bus, top up his parent-pay, trips, clothes, going out, phone bill etc etc.

Your thoughts would be appreciated.
Many thanks.

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  • Comms69
    Comms69 Posts: 14,229 Forumite
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    bbasra wrote: »
    Hi,

    My ex-Wife and I have a child together aged 13 years.

    A court order from a decade ago states:

    1. Both have Shared Residency
    2. Father (myself) has contact every weekend Fri-Sat, Fri-Sun, Fri-Sat, Fri-Sun and so on.

    Accordingly, I have since been paying my ex-wife Child Maintenance voluntarily, based on the above, however, in reality, he lives with me, and has been for the past 5 years and he sees mum when he sees fit for one or two nights on weekends or perhaps one or two nights a month.


    Being the parent with main day-to-day responsibilities, surely I shouldn’t have to pay Child Maintenance based on an out-of-date contact order but just the days he visits his mum i.e. 4 days a month.

    On paper, it shows, she is the parent day-to-day responsibilities and claiming child benefits etc. but in reality, it’s not.

    Can I just stop paying Child Maintenance and pay for the days he visits her? I’m certain she’ll retaliate but the school and social services are aware of this reality. I also pay for the school-bus, top up his parent-pay, trips, clothes, going out, phone bill etc etc.

    Your thoughts would be appreciated.
    Many thanks.



    So why not simply make a claim with the CMS and make her pay for maintenance?...
  • bbasra
    bbasra Posts: 92 Forumite
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    I don't want any of her money but will check how the CMS can help.
  • Comms69
    Comms69 Posts: 14,229 Forumite
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    bbasra wrote: »
    I don't want any of her money but will check how the CMS can help.



    Why not? This isn't about revenge. It's about both parents paying to raise their child.


    I don't particularly fancy paying her for no reason; yet my taxes seem to be doing just that
  • TBagpuss
    TBagpuss Posts: 11,205 Forumite
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    You can st paying, and she could then either accept the situation, or she could apply to the CMS. You could also apply for the child benefit, or seek to agree with her that she will cooperate to transfer it to you.

    CMS will look at child benefit but also at what each of you states in relation to who your son lives with, if it comes to that.
    All posts are my personal opinion, not formal advice Always get proper, professional advice (particularly about anything legal!)
  • diggingdude
    diggingdude Posts: 2,453 Forumite
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    It's not your money it's for your child so make sure she is paying what she owes
    An answer isn't spam just because you don't like it......
  • ThePants999
    ThePants999 Posts: 1,748 Forumite
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    Appreciating I'm replying to a rather old post now - you can also put in a claim for child benefit, at which point there'll be a brief investigation into why both parents are claiming for the same child, which will result in your claim being successful and hers cancelled.
  • System
    System Posts: 178,105 Community Admin
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    You don't pay for her to have your child four days a week. She pays you to have your child for the majority...and if you don't want any money, maintenance is zero...


    Another example of a man's assets being dissolved first.
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