Taking back the control

[Deleted User]

Thick_n_Thin wrote: »

Quite a productive afternoon, the laundry folding turned into me completely re-organising OH wardrobe and drawers, he had so much stuff just rammed in and in no sort of order, so I ripped it all out, re-homed all of his coats and jackets to the rail in the spare room and organised all his shirts by occasion and then coulor and then did the same with jeans and trousers and then the same with his chest of drawers. It looks so much more organised and nice and tidy, I just need to do my wardrobe now!
I have cleaned out the freezer and done a meal plan and a shopping list for tomorrow.
I have had a quick look at all my direct debits and the one thing that stands out at the moment is my subscription to now tv, I don’t really watch it but just want to finish series 5 of the affair and then that will be going, it’s only £8.99 a month but I never watch it and we have Netflix as well which is staying.

If you decide to use Now TV in the future, or don't want to cancel, if you go through the cancellation process they usually offer you a discount for a few months. The more you use the discounts, the less they offer or might not offer, but if you do a few paying months they'll offer a good discount again - just did my two passes for another 4 months and got over 50% off of the movies one

delta13

Thick_n_Thin wrote: »

So i have just read back over my diary from start to finish to try and understand myself a bit better, I have come to the conclusion that I have no willpower, no consistency, I have big ideas but am completely unable to see them through because as soon as the going gets a bit tough I loose focus and go off the rails, I also get swept away with the idea of something get completely obsessed by it for a few weeks and then loose interest in it!
My diary is like a stuck record just constantly repeating the same things over and over and nothing changing!
Time to do what the title suggests and take back the control!

I am like this with my diet (infact, I'm useless), whereas with money I've been getting better.
It's all about knowing what you're like and having that self-insight. I know if I physically write something down, I stick to it - it's like once it's on paper it's real. So I make physical to-do lists, I have a physical budget, I have a physical savings chart.
I didn't used to talk about money stuff with any of my friends but I opened up to one, and she was going through the same thing as me, so I found a kindred spirit. It was good to know I wasn't the only one.

It might be a bit trial and error to start with, but don't give up!

Thick_n_Thin

SSDD23 wrote: »

If you decide to use Now TV in the future, or don't want to cancel, if you go through the cancellation process they usually offer you a discount for a few months. The more you use the discounts, the less they offer or might not offer, but if you do a few paying months they'll offer a good discount again - just did my two passes for another 4 months and got over 50% off of the movies one

Thanks for the tip, I will definitely try this in the future, no doubt there will be another box set or film that will entice me to sign up again so I will definitely be on the look out for a discount!:money:

Thick_n_Thin

delta13 wrote: »

I am like this with my diet (infact, I'm useless), whereas with money I've been getting better.
It's all about knowing what you're like and having that self-insight. I know if I physically write something down, I stick to it - it's like once it's on paper it's real. So I make physical to-do lists, I have a physical budget, I have a physical savings chart.
I didn't used to talk about money stuff with any of my friends but I opened up to one, and she was going through the same thing as me, so I found a kindred spirit. It was good to know I wasn't the only one.

It might be a bit trial and error to start with, but don't give up!

I agree about the list making, something about writing it down makes it more real and I feel a great sense of achievement when I can cross something off even if I don’t achieve everything on the list!

With regards to sharing my financial woes with my friends, I just wouldn’t feel comfortable doing that, one of my friends is quite well off and I wouldn’t want her to think that I was telling her so she felt obligated to pay for things or offer to help me out in way, there is no way I would want anyone to offer any financial help and I would never accept it, at the moment I feel like my finances are something that are completely solvable I just need to learn some self discipline, I probably do need to learn to say no more to things that I can’t afford. There is talk of a group holiday next year that I will definitely be saying no to but prior to my LMB I would never of said no and just got swept along with the plans. It’s good though if you have a friend who is in the same boat that you can talk to, I just don’t think either of my close friends are .

Lemon_Tree

I really struggle with willpower as well, both financially and diet wise, I can only seem to concentrate on obe thing at a time. Good luck with practicing saying no

Thick_n_Thin

Lemon_Tree wrote: »

I really struggle with willpower as well, both financially and diet wise, I can only seem to concentrate on obe thing at a time. Good luck with practicing saying no

I find if one area of my life is out of control it leads to chaos in other areas too, for example
If my house is a mess - I’m being disorganised- more stress - i overeat
I’ve put on weight - my clothes dont fit - I have to buy things that fit me - i loose control of my cash - i then end up with a wardrobe of clothing in various sizes

I think for me it’s like a ripple effect, everything impacting on other areas in my life!

enthusiasticsaver

Have just quickly skimmed your diary and you seem to be on a bit of a roller coaster finance wise, remaining disciplined for a while then going off piste as it were. Your analogy for clearing debt being like climbing Snowdon is quite perceptive.

You mention joint savings. Are these emergency savings or are these pinpointed for retirement because one thing you do need is an emergency savings pot to cover things like the broken washing machine. You don't seem to have done an soa (statement of account) so that might be worth doing.

Having a proper budget in place is the only way you will get out of this robbing Peter to pay Paul or lurching from one financial problem to another dilemma.

Have you thought about some challenges like no more than 1 bottle of wine a week or only one main food shop and one weekly top up? No coffees for a week? Out of your personal spends you could save £50 for entertainment for the month? If you are trying to keep up with wealthy friends that is a recipe for disaster but what you do about it only you can decide. If the stress of finding money for spendy social occasions is too much then taking a step back may help to see if you actually miss the person.

I hope you manage to get your finances on a more even keel as this all sounds very stressful to me.

Thick_n_Thin

Thank you enthusiasticsaver, you are right, it is stressful and as you say it’s only me who can decide what to do about it, I have definitely decided to take a step back from social events and apart from one at the end of the month ( all paid for in advance) that will be it for me for the foreseeable. I will need to figure out as and when things arise as what reasons I give for not participating but I will cross those bridges when I come to them.

In terms of mini challenges, I have already stopped the coffee shop coffee and I have to be honest I don’t miss it at all, I haven’t bought a shop bought coffee for months now unless it has been a planned one, I definitely don’t get one every morning or even weekly so I am pleased that bad habit is finally behind me!

The savings are joint and we did use them to replace the washing machine so I was certainly grateful that we had an emergency fund available, it needs to be topped up a little more but it’s something that I would never of been able to hang onto for long when I was heavily in debt.

I am going to challenge myself to reduce my alcohol consumption if not financial reasons but also my health, I haven’t had any alcohol since last Sunday and I am going to challenge myself not to have any until my night out at the end of the month and even then I will be challenging myself to drink less than I normally would on a night out, I just don’t react as well now to alcohol and it takes me days to recover and I just don’t want to waste my time or money on it anymore.
I hope my ramblings are not coming across as woe is me because that’s not my intention, I find it cathartic to be able to write about how I’m feeling and I find it useful to reflect on what I have written maybe I should rename my diary... learning how to maintain the momentum as I do go all guns blazing and then loose focus!

Thick_n_Thin

3 items sold on eBay, £28 less fees and postage so should net around £15, not a lot but it’s a start and will go towards Christmas, plus it’s given me a much needed boost to get a few more things listed today!
Plans for today involves nothing more than a lazy day, pay day is still 12 days away so funds are very limited, I want to relax and recharge before work tomorrow and I want to create a bit of a to do list to keep me on the straight and narrow for the next week!

Almost forgot to add.. no alcohol was consumed last night ( unheard of for a Saturday night) and I slept so well and have appreciated waking up today with a clear head for once so 7 days dry yesterday!

enthusiasticsaver

Well done on no alcohol yesterday and I am sure that you will notice the difference in your bank account and health over time. Nothing to say you cannot drink but as you say maybe plan for it. We do alcohol if we are having a meal out (not driving) or the odd bottle of wine on a Friday night which lasts up to Sunday. Not every weekend. Maybe just skip the alcohol aisles in the supermarket and if you have limited yourself to just one top up shop make sure that you don't pick up wine then. It is amazing how £5 or £6 adds up if you are buying wine every week.

Good news on ebay sales.