Drumming - Noisy Neighbour

Glovey

Hi All,

I have a bit of a dilemma. I moved into a lovely countryside house in February 2018 of this year escaping the usual noises of a town and working hard to get the detached 'forever' home.

However after moving in, we soon realised that we have a neighbour that owns a drum kit - he's 28 (living at home with his parents) and currently plays for a band that travels around to gigs. Now myself and my partner are relatively easy going and we thought nothing of it to begin with - we were super excited with the house and loved the countryside.

However, 8 months in, the drumming is starting to wear thin. We did approach the neighbours with a polite letter mentioning how the drumming late into the evening affected our relaxation time. The dad of the family came over to have a chat - a very polite gentlemen and we discussed with the revised times of 9am - 5pm drumming practice time as we're out the house at work. I run a small business, which at the best of times is quite stressful so evening time is really important just to unwind. We thought this offer presented by the Dad was very kind and gratefully taken.

The next 2-3 months pass and drumming stops promptly at 5pm and everything is great.

However, over the last week or so the son (whilst the father has been out at work) has been continuing to drum well into the evening. We're not talking 10-15 minutes of drumming, or an hour of drumming - literally 5-6 hours of drumming at a time. When I've worked from home some days, it is literally all day. I'm not over-exaggerating and I'm surprised a man can drum for this long without obtaining blisters - I've had a stiff upper lip about this because the 9am - 5pm times were agreed, but after 5pm this was our time to relax. I've seen other forum posts regarding drumming noise with the majority only complaining of 10-15 minutes here and there and at maximum around 1 hour. This is a totally different story - I have never heard the drumming for less than an hour. The least I heard it was for 3 hours at a time (it is quite literally constant).

We had a sound engineer to test the noise and results came in at just under 60db of monotonous noise. Every room in the house we can hear it and we have tried to escape it with all doors closed, thick curtains etc.

I'm building up the courage again to have a chat with the Dad again because he seemed very understanding and we do chat every now and then. I'm looking for some advice really - do I have another chat to reinforce the agreement or go to the council? I would be more than happy to help fund towards some sound proofing, but worried that this might be too much of an advancement? (I wouldn't want to come across as trying to control the situation).

It's a real shame - I do hear the Dad and Son argue frequently so I believe relationships are wearing thin on that side.

Any help / advice would be greatly appreciated.

silverwhistle

Gawd, I occasionally play the flute badly and you have to admire the stamina and presumably desire to improve (is he getting better?!), but that sounds obsessive.



How about suggesting he sometimes uses drum pads and headphones: you really don't need to use a full kit all the time.

Norman_Castle

do I have another chat to reinforce the agreement or go to the council?

Another chat. The parent did what was agreed last time and is likely to do the same again. The son is drumming because his dad is out. If nothing is done consider contacting the council.

Glovey

Good idea - I do see him wearing headphones whilst he is drumming so I'm unsure as to why he doesn't use an electronic drum kit? I guess it doesn't feel as good to play on as a real drum kit.

Glovey

Thanks for message - I think I'll have a chat with the Dad again this weekend and see what comes about from it.

From your viewpoint, I'm not stepping over the line with this? Me and my partner do see it as being a bit rude (from the son) to be drumming late into the evening, even though clearly the son knows to stop at 5pm as he had done for the last 2-3 months. We do notice his Dad pull in to the driveway at around 8:30pm and miraculously the drumming stops.

scotgal30

This drummer needs to get his act together and get a proper job - all day for hours? I mean this band stuff cant be paying well if hes still in his parents home at his age.

Good luck with the chat.

MysteryMe

It sounds like both you and the father are able to discuss this amicably but have you spoken directly to the son? He's 28 so it's not like you are approaching a child.

Perhaps invite him around whilst someone else bangs on the drums so he can appreciate the issue. He might be more inclined to listen to you than his Dad if relations are strained.

If approaching the son is a non starter than I would definitely have one more chat with the Dad, but explain to him that the agreement has been broken, you've had a sound engineer in and if it continues you'll have no choice but to go to the council. Obviously make it clear that you appreciate the the Dad has tried to resolve the issue. You never know, it might be the impetus the Dad needs to evict the adult offspring.

Don't offer to pay for sound proofing, that's something the neighbour should be paying for.

Glovey

I haven't yet spoken with the son - good idea if I can catch him. I did briefly say 'Hi' on a dog walk, but nothing more than that.

I'll catch the Dad at the weekend and have another chat first. Not wanting to put additional strain if there are family relationship issues, but at the same time I believe I need to re-affirm the point of the drumming noise.

We all grow up in different backgrounds and ways of living, but the most grating evidence is that he's the same age as me - though I've grafted to get to where I am and mortgaged up to my eyeballs to achieve the house I've always wanted. Still, each to their own.

Dime_Bar

Is 60dB really so loud you cannot bock it out? It that the loudest it is in the house?

Glovey

I can block it out with music of my own, but I'd like to have the room quiet at-least some of the time when I'm at home. We've tried to block it out with curtains / shutting all doors and even enquiring about a soundproofing fence, but the latter would totally ruin the look / feel of the house (we live in a stone built home). We are literally in the middle of the countryside (not that this argument justifies particularly anything, perhaps I've pulled a short straw) but the idea was to move away from noise, instead of towards it.

We've been pretty easy going on this I believe, but when it's constant and you can literally hear the drumming noise on it's own, for hours, it really does wear thin. I've tried wearing headphones, bought a noise cancelling machine (which plays white noise - don't get them, total waste of money!) but blocking out the drum noise (as I was told by the sound engineer) does take some going. (He did explain the science behind why drum noises travel so well, but I wouldn't be able to recite this).

silverwhistle

Glovey wrote: »

Good idea - I do see him wearing headphones whilst he is drumming so I'm unsure as to why he doesn't use an electronic drum kit? I guess it doesn't feel as good to play on as a real drum kit.

The headphones are probably just being used as ear defenders, which you'll see sometimes with live bands. I'm sure pads are less satisfactory, just as a practice chanter is not the same as a full set of pipes!


Next time you see the drummer on your walks ask if he's actually playing in a band? Wish him luck but also make your point directly..