DMP mutual support thread part 13 !!

ditty1234

AndersS said:

Hi everyone! Newbie here! 

I’m currently working my way through previous posts in this thread to avoid asking all the questions that others have already, but in the meantime I wanted to say hi!

I’m days away from my first missed payment, after years of struggling to protect my credit score (hoping to get a mortgage). The panic really set in yesterday when I opened my eyes to reality that I’m maxed out and can no longer borrow again and again to keep my head above water. Yep I’ve buried my head in the sand for quite some time now!

I’m slowly coming to terms with the impact that these missed payments will have, but still terrified of the consequences that may come with it if my financial situation doesn’t improve. I’m catastrophising, I know, but the thought of people knocking on my door (debt collectors/bailiffs) scares the living daylights out of me and even the thought of constant letters and phone calls is enough to really set my anxiety off. 

I guess I’m looking for reassurance amongst fellow debt-free wannabes. I’m finding that those around me just don’t get it. It’s very lonely and I’m feeling deep shame that I’ve let things get this out of control. I’m hoping that the things I’m worrying about are very far off and that there is a way out of this. 

Any words of encouragement will be greatly received. 

Thank you in advance

AnderS

Hi Just to say hi and I understand your panic. But I hope you will find that once you take charge it is a great relief and if you communicate with your creditors and follow the guidelines on this board ( @sourcrates is amazing) I doubt anybody will come barging in. I am about 3 years in, paying very little due to various circumstances, but it was still the best thing I ever did. 
Your most important weapon will be to have an emergency fund for yourself, that way you don't have to worry about stuff happening - because you are ready. 
Best of luck on your journey. 

Hols2021

It said on one of the debt websites, maybe because we are in Scotland it’s different but it said they have to send the default and give you 14 days to respond before they start Court Action. 

debtfreeme2021

@Debtfreeat50 thanks useful to know 

Norfolk_Jim

AndersS said:

Hi everyone! Newbie here! 

I’m currently working my way through previous posts in this thread to avoid asking all the questions that others have already, but in the meantime I wanted to say hi!

I’m days away from my first missed payment, after years of struggling to protect my credit score (hoping to get a mortgage). The panic really set in yesterday when I opened my eyes to reality that I’m maxed out and can no longer borrow again and again to keep my head above water. Yep I’ve buried my head in the sand for quite some time now!

I’m slowly coming to terms with the impact that these missed payments will have, but still terrified of the consequences that may come with it if my financial situation doesn’t improve. I’m catastrophising, I know, but the thought of people knocking on my door (debt collectors/bailiffs) scares the living daylights out of me and even the thought of constant letters and phone calls is enough to really set my anxiety off. 

I guess I’m looking for reassurance amongst fellow debt-free wannabes. I’m finding that those around me just don’t get it. It’s very lonely and I’m feeling deep shame that I’ve let things get this out of control. I’m hoping that the things I’m worrying about are very far off and that there is a way out of this. 

Any words of encouragement will be greatly received. 

Thank you in advance

AnderS

Hi. In regard to feeling shame about your debt I totally get where you are coming from. I am 57, nearly 58 and all my life I never failed to pay anyone and never made a late payment. A couple of years back I got to the point where I could no longer meet payments and was just paying and then borrowing it back. To keep it short I followed advice on  here but I felt awful shame and guilt about not repaying my creditors - after all Id borrowed and spent the money and I still had a desire to pay them back - going on a DMP was not easy for me to swallow. However, over the first year all except one creditor sold my debt to firms like PRA who specialise in buying debts. For me that was a trotal gamechanger. I had fully intended tro pay back my creditors in full but THEY took a business decision to sell my debt and move on. I dont feel any moral obligation to the companies that bought the debt - I didnt ask them to. They have a business model of buying discounted debt and trying to get as much back on it as they can - thats their business, and its all just business. If it takes 20 years to pay them then tough, I didnt ask them to buy my debt.

So dont be feeling shame because it is all business. The lenders you owe money to have a business model that will incorporate the fact some debts will go bad - they can write those  losses off against tax. I'm pretty sure you didnt intend to find yourself unable to pay your borrowing back. Im pretty sure you didnt borrow a big chunk of cash with no intention of repaying - me neither but things change, life happens, problems arise - so try and cut yourself some slack and remember, non of it is personal, its all just business. Theres many thousands off us who found ourself in this situation - I should think there will be many  more when the Energy price cap changes. Good luck and dont feel lonely, this thread keeps me aware that Im not unique and im not alone in this, and neither are you

sourcrates

Hols2021 said:

It said on one of the debt websites, maybe because we are in Scotland it’s different but it said they have to send the default and give you 14 days to respond before they start Court Action. 

In this game, wording is everything, you will find the statement actually says -

Your creditor "can" also take further action after the account has defaulted, including:

• Passing the debt to a collection agency
• Taking court action
• Applying to a court to take back a vehicle or other goods, if the debt was hire purchase

Notice the word "CAN" not "WILL".

In almost 99.9% of default cases, the debt will be passed straight to either the creditors own internal collections dept., or an external DCA to collect on their behalf.

Original creditors virtually never take action through the courts themselves, they are simply not geared up to deal with the many hundreds of thousands of court cases that would produce, instead, if you don`t respond to the internal collections dept., the normal procedure is to off load the account to a collection company who just deal with collections, that is standard procedure.

Court action, as I mentioned earlier, is mostly reserved for much further down the line, if you don`t pay the likes of Lowell or Cabot, or some other debt purchasing company, the early stage you are at, you should not be wasting your efforts worrying about things which are not going to happen.

Suseka97

Norfolk_Jim said:

AndersS said:

Hi everyone! Newbie here! 

I’m currently working my way through previous posts in this thread to avoid asking all the questions that others have already, but in the meantime I wanted to say hi!

I’m days away from my first missed payment, after years of struggling to protect my credit score (hoping to get a mortgage). The panic really set in yesterday when I opened my eyes to reality that I’m maxed out and can no longer borrow again and again to keep my head above water. Yep I’ve buried my head in the sand for quite some time now!

I’m slowly coming to terms with the impact that these missed payments will have, but still terrified of the consequences that may come with it if my financial situation doesn’t improve. I’m catastrophising, I know, but the thought of people knocking on my door (debt collectors/bailiffs) scares the living daylights out of me and even the thought of constant letters and phone calls is enough to really set my anxiety off. 

I guess I’m looking for reassurance amongst fellow debt-free wannabes. I’m finding that those around me just don’t get it. It’s very lonely and I’m feeling deep shame that I’ve let things get this out of control. I’m hoping that the things I’m worrying about are very far off and that there is a way out of this. 

Any words of encouragement will be greatly received. 

Thank you in advance

AnderS

.........So dont be feeling shame because it is all business. The lenders you owe money to have a business model that will incorporate the fact some debts will go bad - they can write those  losses off against tax. I'm pretty sure you didnt intend to find yourself unable to pay your borrowing back. Im pretty sure you didnt borrow a big chunk of cash with no intention of repaying - me neither but things change, life happens, problems arise - so try and cut yourself some slack and remember, non of it is personal, its all just business. Theres many thousands off us who found ourself in this situation - I should think there will be many  more when the Energy price cap changes. Good luck and dont feel lonely, this thread keeps me aware that Im not unique and im not alone in this, and neither are you

Firstly... its good to see you back on this thread N_J and I hope you're doing well

But back on point, it's exactly this.  There's no shame to being in debt and there are so many reasons why someone may find themselves unable to service their debts.  Life happens and things change... much like you and I have experienced ( and have many others).  I also agree that when a debt is sold on for pennies to the £ that folks need to be holding back for those full and final offers.  If that means someone chooses to manipulate their I&E to their advantage, so be it.  Ultimately its a business transaction and debt purchasers only see the £ signs, they have no interest or care about the debtors situation or circumstance.

Norfolk_Jim

Suseka97 said:Firstly... its good to see you back on this thread N_J and I hope you're doing well

Thanks, I'm currently well. I have my depressive episodes but either way I lurk on here and get encouragement and reassurance from the various postings.

I've been reading through the "Full and final settlement help pages" and finding it very interesting. I'm wondering how many years before I get any of these offers since my DMP will take over 20 years to clear the debt and Id be surprised if I live that long with my health problems.

The coming price hikes in energy and NI are going to hammer my budget. We use a lot of energy because of my family health issues - you use the washing machine and tumble dryer a lot with incontinence issues. I simply dont have time to go to work and then wash and hang it all out on the line. Also Wife and daughter are home all day so using energy all the while.

At my last review with Stepchange my payments to creditors more than halved after I removed my wife and her benefits from the plan (Her benefits are to help with her disabilities, not pay MY debts). If Energy increases 50% it will half again. I will have maybe £70 a month between £35000 of debts

Im wondering if that in itself might not be such a bad thing as it could encourage even PRA to consider F&F payments in 2.5 years time when I get a payment due then and that I hope will be my way out of DM. On that other thread I was encouraged to read about people who did get a discount from PRA and also one person who paid £1 a  month for 12 years!

Im thinking maybe the worse a prospect I look to them the better my chances of F&F? My only worry there is that we do own our house (with a mortgage) which gives creditors something to go after should they choose to persue me in court and this is an area I dont really understand at all with things like charging orders and forced bankruptcy, The unknown can be scary.

Im still with Stepchange - thinking about self managed as Id like to snowball my smallest debts - that motivates me far more than payments that seem to go on forever - but Im a terrible procrastinator and with my mental health problems  (I take ages to act (Yorkshire background - "When in doubt, do nowt") but I think I will go down thar route sometime. A weakness I find with Stepchange is that they don't seem to take any account of your non financial contributers to your situation, while Christians Against Poverty do (But they are totally overwhelmed, they pointed me to Stepchange). Stepchange tell me to go bankrupt but Losing the house and the OR possibly claiming my pensions since I'm over 55 its not a choice Im in favour of. My wife is very disabled, my daughter is autistic and unemployable, my son is unemployed through Covid - trying to rent somewhere at twice or more what my mortgage is, no thanks!

Long post, sorry, Could write a book, Ever thought of doing that Sourcrates.

Comments welcome

Norfolk_Jim

And if anyone is wondering - No help with domestics from Daughter as her Autism has turned her into a recluse who rarely ever leaves her room and has no empathy at all for anyone else. Son helps out, could do more, I have qualms about a young son having to deal with mothers health episodes. And I have Chronic depression so a lot of the time it is as much as I can do to get up and go to work. Its never quite as easy as saying your kids need to help more - which is what Id get on some of the threads

jwil

@Norfolk_Jim I started with c.£35k of debt and paid £1 a month to my creditors for about 5 years.  I now pay the grand total of £11 a month.  I might have to reduce that again if bills go up too much.  I also have a house with a mortgage, but haven't so far seen any hints of action.  I think you are unlikely to as long as you respond to your creditors.  I don't include my husband's income in the SOA, just the amount he pays towards the bills.  They are my debts, and he doesn't need to pay them. 

If you can go self managed you can set your SOA as you like it - get your payments as low as possible so you can try and tuck some away for a F&F.  Now is probably a good time to do it as everything is going up so much.

I am now down to two debts as I have F&F the rest (and had a couple written off).    I've barely had any F&F offers from creditors, but I have written to them with offers once I've had a bit set aside.  I started at 10% and one creditor accepted it to my surprise.  Others have come back with small discounts, others have come back with discounts I considered reasonable - around 35% (including PRA).  I'm happy now to sit it out and just wait for the right opportunity.

I know how hard it is with depression, but if you can manage to take that first step to self managed (using NEDCAB makes it easier as they will come up with the appropriate figures for each creditor), then once it's set up, there's very little contact from creditors.  They might write every 6 months and ask for a review but you can just reprint the same SOA and tell them nothings changed.

Suseka97

Norfolk_Jim said:

Suseka97 said:Firstly... its good to see you back on this thread N_J and I hope you're doing well

I've been reading through the "Full and final settlement help pages" and finding it very interesting. I'm wondering how many years before I get any of these offers since my DMP will take over 20 years to clear the debt and Id be surprised if I live that long with my health problems.

The coming price hikes in energy and NI are going to hammer my budget. 

Im thinking maybe the worse a prospect I look to them the better my chances of F&F? My only worry there is that we do own our house (with a mortgage) which gives creditors something to go after should they choose to persue me in court and this is an area I dont really understand at all with things like charging orders and forced bankruptcy, The unknown can be scary.

Sorry to hear you are still trying to navigate through a whole myriad of issues... both health and finances.  It's certainly a slog, but, as has been said before by myself and @sourcrates (among others).  Your health and family are way more important than the debts.  It's natural to procrastinate (I have the book and wear the T shirt on that score, myself) but if you can make a plan to self-manage using the NEDCAB resources, then I think you'll slowly start to feel more in control of things.

You need to set aside any worries about court action and just keep doing what you are doing and if you have to stop making payments or pay just £1 a month - then do that.  Are your creditors even aware of the difficulties you face, have you written to explain your situation? 

Make a plan and work towards going self-managed and put yours and your family's needs front and foremost.