Money Moral Dilemma: Should my sister-in-law give up her house after her husband's death?

Pollycat

silvercar wrote: »

Makes sense. Problem is whether legally she has the option to downsize, or does selling it mean the kids get the proceeds straight away leaving her homeless.

We'll never know as there is never an update to these MMDs.
Unless the sister-in-law comes on to post more information.

POPPYOSCAR

I fail to see the 'moral dilemma' here.

She is entitled to live there until her death.

No dilemma whatsoever.

kazwookie

I would suggest someone in 'legal land' looks carefully at the wording of the Will.

I would also be interest in how the house was held by the late husband and wife, ie tenants in common etc and who paid for the house in the first place and how. (too little information given)

Mean while I would tell the 'children' to jog on for now.

I 'might' also be inclined, to remortage etc

Mojisola

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

I fail to see the 'moral dilemma' here.

She is entitled to live there until her death.

No dilemma whatsoever.

And if their father had wanted his children to have an interim inheritance, he could have written his will so that his wife could stay in the house for X months or years but would then have to sell up and give the children a share of the money.

They should be respecting their father's wishes.

Marvel1

No the greedy brats should wait.

Spendless

clairec79 wrote: »

Unless SHE wants to downsize herself or can not cope with the size of the house (for example if her health is getting worse she may be better off on one floor) then no she shouldn't

I wondered if that was behind their reasoning too, which is the problem with MMDs, you can't question or clarify.

We would very much like my ILs to move to something more suitable and no one will be inheriting a penny because their home is already unsuitable for their ages and health and will continue to become more so. One of my ILs refuses to do it, even though it isn't practical for them to continue to live in their accommodation.

Pollycat

Spendless wrote: »

I wondered if that was behind their reasoning too, which is the problem with MMDs, you can't question or clarify.

I thought it was pretty clear that it was money they were after, rather than concern for their Father's wife.

MSE_Sarah wrote: »

Her late husband's two grown-up kids will inherit it, but only after her death. It's large and they are pressuring her to downsize and give them the cash difference now. She's reluctant as it's been her home for 20+ years, and has all the memories of her husband.

I think you're attributing altruistic motives where none exist.

Spendless

Pollycat wrote: »

I thought it was pretty clear that it was money they were after, rather than concern for their Father's wife.

I think you're attributing altruistic motives where none exist.

Well, no because we only have it from the (non existent) OP point of view. Saying 'they want their cash' and we're unable to explore more. I did say we can't ask more or clarify on MMDs.

My MIL refuses to move from their unsuitable house. Here's my reasons why she should

It is too far away from shops, she doesn't drive and my FIL no longer feels safe doing so. Ditto other amenities like the drs.

They have no downstairs loo/bathroom. The floor plan means they can't convert a downstairs room into a bedroom. They are struggling with the stairs, both having fallen in recent weeks.

Their garden is far too large for them to manage it.

My ILs are early-mid 70s, far from 'old' but this house isn't meeting their needs now.

If we were due any money from my ILs moving it would be easy to resist the change saying it was just because 'they want their money' rather than listen to why we think they should move.

If we were able to question the OP, or even if the wording of the MMD was better worded 'they want me to downsize from my large house which meets all my old age needs' we wouldn't have to second guess

Anja

How about equity release on the property. Give them the money now to shut them up and then when she dies they won’t have anything left to inherit. She gets to stay in the house and they get their way now and hopefully leave her to get on with her life!

Pollycat

Spendless wrote: »

Well, no because we only have it from the (non existent) OP point of view. Saying 'they want their cash' and we're unable to explore more. I did say we can't ask more or clarify on MMDs.

My MIL refuses to move from their unsuitable house. Here's my reasons why she should

It is too far away from shops, she doesn't drive and my FIL no longer feels safe doing so. Ditto other amenities like the drs.

They have no downstairs loo/bathroom. The floor plan means they can't convert a downstairs room into a bedroom. They are struggling with the stairs, both having fallen in recent weeks.

Their garden is far too large for them to manage it.

My ILs are early-mid 70s, far from 'old' but this house isn't meeting their needs now.

If we were due any money from my ILs moving it would be easy to resist the change saying it was just because 'they want their money' rather than listen to why we think they should move.

If we were able to question the OP, or even if the wording of the MMD was better worded 'they want me to downsize from my large house which meets all my old age needs' we wouldn't have to second guess

But what meagre scrap of information that's been posted is all that we have to go on.
And there won't be any more.
Either from the 'OP' or the 'other side'.
So, it really is clear that the grasping offspring want their money. The original post says so.
You can see both sides of your family's situation but that doesn't apply here.