What is your attitude to discussing your finances generally?

Legacy_user

Hiya. As MSErs I’m sure many of us, may feel more comfortable talking about our personal finances (not necessarily in-depth details, but at least comfortable talking about it to some extent), but I wondered if that how you are generally, or just here on the forum which is a designated space for it, or are you more cautious about discussing any /certain aspects of your finances outside of this space? Even if it’s not necessarily a bad thing or lack of money that’s being discussed, but someone asking for advice or your experiences for example? I’m now saving to buy and have quite a few friends who have bought which is great, whilst most of them are really open with how much they raised, how much their place was, their experience generally, and any hindsight tips, another person might not feel so comfortable doing so, so was just intrigued. I know the community here isn’t really representative as a whole, but as a MSErs forum person myself, I would definitely feel comfortable being open and giving tips on my journey buying or saving journey , and savings etc, but would feels less comfortable talking about my personal debt outside of student loans and overdrafts...


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Thrugelmir

Disclose as much or as little you wish. There's a broad church on here. We all make mistakes, some people are lucky, others not so. However what joins us together is that basic financial skills are key to life. There'll always been somebody that has experienced something similar. If one is in need. At least there's alternative view that can be considered.

Alexland

I have noticed the wealth gap increases with age as those who have maintained high incomes, taken successful risks, and/or been thoughtful with allocating their money for tax efficiency and growth accelerate ahead those who have not.

We have done all of those things and so our wealth and income management considerations are very different to many of our friends and work colleagues of similar age who tend to have more immediate needs.

Still we share thoughts on things of common interest but I keep quiet on aspects where their income or wealth may not be high enough to be of concern.

Alex

darkidoe

We are all bounded by taxes, laws, financial institutions so having discussions and learning about them from the community or from friends with examples is always helpful and informative.

It's always key to try to keep these discussions as a platform for brainstorming ideas of what possibilities there are out there for your own unique circumstances. We may easily get caught up comparing wealth and judging other's choices but I don't think that is particularly helpful.

The issue with debt is there used to be a lot more negative stigma with debt historically but I think in recent times, with easy money going around, personal debt is very much more common sometimes not by choice. Some of it is still down to poor fiscal discipline which can sometimes be put down to bad luck but if there's an issue with chronic debt, I think the issue needs to be dealt with and not avoided and ideally with professionals.

SG27

Im open with my friends and family about my finances. I dont have a high income so dont have anything to brag about. Although if did have a lot of money/high income I would be inclined not to tell too many people for security reasons

RichyRich

Interesting question!

Philosophically I'm fairly open, though as one of the higher earners among my friends am keen to avoid being perceived to be "bragging" in any way, and I generally don't disclose the precise amount of my salary (my wife knows, but others don't).

But I do find personal finance a very interesting topic and so it does come up in discussions. I've helped a few close friends see the benefit in switching phone and broadband suppliers, energy suppliers and remortgaging, and of saving instead of spending, and I think that is a good thing.

I consider myself fairly good with money (at least in theory - in practice life seems to get in the way!) and contribute a (fairly large) % of my income to my pension, a (fairly large) % of my take-home to savings, and make (substantial) overpayments on my mortgage each month. Yet oddly enough some family members have formed the opinion that my wife and I fritter far too much away (as memorialized in a conversation between a member of my family and a member of my wife's).

We do try to strike a balance between living now and saving for the future - and, yes, I/we eat and drink out to socialise - but we can afford it, we enjoy it, and We never spend out of savings, spend out of income earmarked for savings, or borrow to do so. For at least the last five years, we've never carried a balance over on a credit card, not had any loan other than a mortgage, and have been making regular (and steadily increasing) overpayments towards it. While I've always contributed to my pension, in the last 3 years I've increased my contributions from 6% to 18% of my salary, had a constant two regular savers on the go, and contributed more than £13k to my investment ISA. I'm desperate to not struggle in retirement, but I also need to live now too. So sue me for that Sunday roast down the pub :rotfl:

I suppose my point is that generally yes, I am happy discussing finances, but if you choose to do so (and it's YOUR decision), be prepared for some people to draw their own, often irrational, conclusions about your priorities and sensibility.

trailingspouse

The only person who knows how much we earn (other than myself and my OH) is my father - he used to be a bank manager before he retired, so has a better understanding of what our income means (turnover versus profit versus our income from the business, for example) than other people might. My mother could hardly believe it when I was on £100 a day as a supply teacher... She would fall over sideways if she knew how much we bring in per day now.



I'm pretty sure that if they really knew, there would be a change in attitude towards us from the kids (one in particular), the siblings, and so on. So, we keep it to ourselves, and with a fair wind they'll get the benefit in the fullness of time - unless we decide to blow the lot, of course.

longleggedhair

I'm in a lucky position personally, to own my own home, and have a decent amount invested at a relatively young age (30s). The problem I have found in being open is mostly jealousy, and also an attitude of entitlement amongst some.

I generally find it is better to keep quiet about what you have. General discussion is fine but try not to be drawn into specifics. There has been more than one occasion in the past where because somebody has been aware of what I have (I didn't tell them but they were aware due to an inheritance I received) that I have been approached for money and had to decline. That also sadly extends to there forums, there are one or two on here that can be quite vindictive.

The truth is sadly for many people in 2018, they don't own but rent, don't save but borrow and don't have much clue about financial security. It's quite frightening, and doesn't, in my opinion, bode well for the future.

steampowered

Brits seem to have a cultural aversion to talking about money. My experience is that people from other countries (particularly the USA) are often a bit more open about salaries and wealth in general.

Personally, it depends who I am talking to. I am happy to be open with people about what I earn and what my wealth is.

However, I try not to overdo it with talking about expensive holidays and the like when talking with friends who I know are in difficult financial circumstances.

Similarly I would not order an expensive wine when out with friends (especially as we often split the bill), but might if it was just me.

Prism

I am open about what I earn but there is also a fair bit of misunderstanding of the values due to the fact I am a contractor. I know several people at one of the companies I contract for and they can generally see the other end of the picture, basically my total cost to their company. What they don't always understand is how the breakdown of that cost works. So you might hear something like 'we pay contractors over £1000 per day. I get nothing close to that'. They don't always realise that in that amount is 20% VAT, sometimes an agency fee of 10-20%, travel expenses, corporation tax and then dividend tax before I get my bit. So I have felt the need to explain this to several people.

Between my friends we are fairly open about investments, pension amounts etc. The reason I DIY my own pension today is due to a friend explaining it to me several years ago.

Computer_Beginner

It is an interesting question.

I would say that 10-20 years ago, I would be much more likely to discuss my financial matters with "others".
But these days, much less so.

By "others", I mean work colleagues, friends etc (not bank staff, etc).

In my opinion, there's been quite a change in the UK over the past 10-20 years. But because it's been quite gradual, it's gone largely un-noticed by the public. Some of this can be blamed on the mainstream media, but some of it is just people not being alert to it.

The govt has pushed ZIRP, QE, asset inflation, insecure employment, insecure rental tenures, lack of social housing etc.
There's also been a massive increase in drug use and financial crimes, that are beyond the ability of the police to actually contain.

People lead "parallel lives" and this has been facilitated by the internet. Twenty years ago, I had friends from other cultures and backgrounds. Today, I would say I'm polite and perhaps friendly, but not friends.

It's too complicated to describe properly in one post, but the UK is definitely changing. I am certainly more cautious these days and I keep my affairs as private as possible.

But maybe I'm just crazy and imagining things?