Advice on "unreasonable behaviour" in divorce proceedings

KMK

My sister married late in life to a man who insisted on keeping his finances quite separate.She has no idea what savings he may have for example.He has never worked during their 13 year marriage and has no work pension now that he is of retirement age, only the state pension.

Consequently, my sister pays most of the household bills from her work pension and part time work.

He inherited a house from his parents before the marriage and refused to rent it out.It was left empty for about 12 years.It is worth now about £200,000 and a monthly rent of £700.

Three years ago he allowed his niece and partner to live there rent free although they earn about £50,000.When my sister suggested charging them a reduced rent to help with their own finances, he refused to discuss it.

She now fears that he is about to sell the house at reduced price to the niece and with the proceeds give £50,000 to a nephew and an animal charity , leaving very little in the "pot" for her future.

Would his refusal to discuss finances with her and acting in this way be considered "unreasonable behaviour" in the event of divorce proceedings?She is getting to the end of her tether with him.

LilElvis

KMK wrote: »

My sister married late in life to a man who insisted on keeping his finances quite separate.She has no idea what savings he may have for example.He has never worked during their 13 year marriage and has no work pension now that he is of retirement age, only the state pension.

Consequently, my sister pays most of the household bills from her work pension and part time work.

He inherited a house from his parents before the marriage and refused to rent it out.It was left empty for about 12 years.It is worth now about £200,000 and a monthly rent of £700.

Three years ago he allowed his niece and partner to live there rent free although they earn about £50,000.When my sister suggested charging them a reduced rent to help with their own finances, he refused to discuss it.

She now fears that he is about to sell the house at reduced price to the niece and with the proceeds give £50,000 to a nephew and an animal charity , leaving very little in the "pot" for her future.

Would his refusal to discuss finances with her and acting in this way be considered "unreasonable behaviour" in the event of divorce proceedings?She is getting to the end of her tether with him.

Any old rubbish can be cited as "unreasonable behaviour" in divorce proceedings - it's individual perception. My husband's ex cited his constant turning down the central heating as one of her grounds for divorce. I'm obviously more persuasive as I manage to keep the heating at a balmy 24° without him complaining.

Comms69

Unreasonable behaviour has no bearing in the split of money etc.

meer53

How long have they been married ? I would suggest she gets some legal advice if she is considering divorce. The advice will probably be dependant on the length of the marriage and as the house was inherited before they married, it may not be included in any financial negotiations anyway. I don't think refusal to discuss finances would be classed as unreasonable behaviour but i'm not a lawyer.

Mojisola

KMK wrote: »

My sister married late in life to a man who insisted on keeping his finances quite separate.She has no idea what savings he may have for example.He has never worked during their 13 year marriage and has no work pension now that he is of retirement age, only the state pension.

Consequently, my sister pays most of the household bills from her work pension and part time work.

Financial withholding like this within a relationship is considered domestic abuse now so it's highly likely to fit the category of unreasonable behaviour in a divorce.

Comms69

Mojisola wrote: »

Financial withholding like this within a relationship is considered domestic abuse now so it's highly likely to fit the category of unreasonable behaviour in a divorce.

Uhm... he wasn’t working?

Mojisola

He has an expensive asset that he left unoccupied for twelve years and now allows a relative to live in, rent free.

Comms69

Mojisola wrote: »

He has an expensive asset that he left unoccupied for twelve years and now allows a relative to live in, rent free.

Granted, but then being a landlord is a lot of hassle and certainly there’s no obligation to be one.

I’m sure that literally millions of people help relatives out. So again it’s hardly crime if the century.

Millions of partners / spouses don’t work and therefore don’t contribute financially; I can’t see it being classed as abuse..

unholyangel

Comms69 wrote: »

Granted, but then being a landlord is a lot of hassle and certainly there’s no obligation to be one.

I’m sure that literally millions of people help relatives out. So again it’s hardly crime if the century.

Millions of partners / spouses don’t work and therefore don’t contribute financially; I can’t see it being classed as abuse..

Comms69 wrote: »

Uhm... he wasn’t working?

So on one hand you excuse him not paying his share of the bills because he wasn't working but then overlook the financial asset & his behaviour that contradicts him being hard up enough not to afford his bills (not renting it out/selling then renting for free)?

Apparently he's okay with finances not being completely separate as long as its in his favour. He's having his spouse pay most of the bills. We're not talking about someone who's down on their luck and not a bean to their name.

paddy's_mum

Within a lawful marriage, of course it's unreasonable!

There is a very old, very unpleasant term (p onc ing) when one partner begins to manipulate the money to the detriment of the other while still happily taking everything that person has to give.

If in the husband's view, the house is his and nothing to do with the wife, then surely the opposite applies equally so that her salary and assets are hers alone and nothing to do with him?

I suspect too that any divorce court judge would frown upon financial manoeuvres that leave a (potential) widow insufficiently provided for, especially in light of the inheritance laws concerning dependents.

This husband is in for some very rude shocks if he continues to "refuse to discuss it" like some Victorian rotter in a poor quality novel!

meer53

This is on DivorceOnline UK website :

Here's a list of examples of unreasonable behaviour;
The Respondent has been violent towards the Petitioner.
The Respondent has threatened the Petitioner with physical violence or has been physically abusive.
The Respondent has been verbally abusive towards the Petitioner.
The Respondent drinks to excess, and when he is under the influence of alcohol he behaves in an unreasonable and aggressive manner.
The Respondent is financially irresponsible, and has failed to maintain the Petitioner and/or the children properly during the marriage.
During the marriage the Respondent has gambled to excess and has, on numerous occasions, caused considerable distress to the Petitioner by running up large gambling debts and dissipating the family’s savings.
The Respondent has formed an improper relationship with a woman whose identity is unknown.
The Respondent refuses to discuss the issues within the marriage with the Petitioner.
The Respondent does not want to engage in any sexual or physical relations with the Petitioner.
The Respondent shows no interest in socialising with the Petitioner and prefers to socialise alone with friends.
The Respondent refuses to try and resolve the issues and continues to behave in an unreasonable manner.

Hope this helps the OP.