Obsessed with saving!

triplea35

My wife and I are in our early 60's and for the majority of our married life I was, and still am, the sole wage earner. We have always been comfortable, I've never been particularly materialistic, not interested in flash cars and luxury homes.

We have managed to save, and these savings/investments together with a good final salary pension and impending State pensions mean I should have no fear for the future and retirement. This was always my reason for saving and now we could safely say that goal has been reached my focus on saving is directed to provide for our adult son in later life.

I like a bargain, so many of meals/outings etc centre around deals from the discount sites. And it is like that with any purchases we make.

The 1st of every month I update a spreadsheet of all our liquid assets. It usually rises month on month, I feel quite depressed when it doesn't, usually due to stock market fluctuations but occasionally due to a large purchase such as a car.

I sometimes have a thought that I would like to treat myself, buy a convertible, a motorbike, an expensive holiday but I always procrastinate so much that it never happens, but looking back quite relieved I didn't.

I do feel at times that it is quite sad that I really do not get any pleasure from spending and more from accumulating.

I know I can't be the only person like this, I have seen and heard stories of elderly people living almost like paupers but leaving huge amounts of wealth.

We are not quite as bad as that yet, my wife wouldn't allow it!, but feel if I was ever left on my own that is the direction I would go.

How do I change? Or do I need to? I can't really imagine me doing it. I feel it's just the way I am, my mother was similar, so maybe hereditary.

Lrimas

If buying things don't make you happy but saving money does then I can't see anything wrong with it. Even if there isn't really a point to it, loads of people have pointless hobbies (and this one is going to help you if you ever have to pay care fees so not completely pointless).

If buying things do make you happy but you are not doing it due to an unfounded fear, or if your saving is causing problems between you & the wife then you might have to reasses.

wort

You are in a wonderful position, that you have healthy savings, and that you know how to save.
As long as you are "living " your life ,there's no need to buy material things if you don't want to.
By that I mean make sure your desire to save doesn't come at the cost of not doing things that would enhance your life. I.e . Going on holidays , days out , basically enjoying life.
Not everyone wants to go on holiday , but maybe think what your bucket list is? Anywhere you'd like to go or see or do.?
We don't know how long we've got together, I speak from experience. So talk with your wife and see that you make the most of what you've got. Whatever that maybe for you both.
You're in a good position.

crv1963

There's nothing wrong with saving if that's your thing. It only becomes a problem if it starts to interfere with your life/ living. Whilst there are no pockets in a shroud, if you have an aim for the savings then great, but as said earlier, do live a little, have a bucket list with your wife, think does your son need as much as you are trying to save for him or can some be diverted to make life a bit happier for you now?


There are no judgements as long as you are happy with what you do and so is your wife.

sukysue

Nothing wrong in what you are doing imho , whatever floats your boat. I saw a no fly cruise to New York next year in the Mail today and we talked abut it, and we could easily do it if we wanted to financially and health wise , yet we both said we would come back from having a lovely time and think we are 10k worse off than we were 4 weeks ago and that we wouldn't like it . We have friends who spend every penny on enjoying themselves, meals out, hols, cars, wine , nails, hair, clothes etc and we are just not like it . Takes all sorts. I actually think we had a very poor childhood and have saved all our lives worked hard to make it and now we want to keep it and in my book there is nothing wrong in that.

Keep_pedalling

This does sound a little OCD. You investments are for the long term so monitoring them on a monthly basis is pointless, especially if every little blip downwards causes you angst.

Ideally there should come a point in your life where the savings stop and spending it starts. We are a similar age to your both have reasonable FS pensions with my wife getting SP and mine kicks in next year.

We could easily live on those pensions but what is the point of saving for all those preceding years, if you never put it to good use, so we no longer add to those savings, but draw down 3% pa, which goes on things like nice hotels instead of cheap ones, upgrading from cattle to business class for long hall flights, and regular gifts to our children, new grandchildren and charities.

Once we are in are dotage and can no longer do so much ourselves we will not be kicking ourselves for failing to enjoy our savings while we were healthy enough to do so.

lessonlearned

sukysue wrote: »

Nothing wrong in what you are doing imho , whatever floats your boat. I saw a no fly cruise to New York next year in the Mail today and we talked abut it, and we could easily do it if we wanted to financially and health wise , yet we both said we would come back from having a lovely time and think we are 10k worse off than we were 4 weeks ago and that we wouldn't like it . We have friends who spend every penny on enjoying themselves, meals out, hols, cars, wine , nails, hair, clothes etc and we are just not like it . Takes all sorts. I actually think we had a very poor childhood and have saved all our lives worked hard to make it and now we want to keep it and in my book there is nothing wrong in that.

:rotfl: I was looking at no fly cruises to New York for next year....guessing it's the same company. I too decided against it.

After my husband died I did have a bit of a spending spree, holidays, clothes etc . I think a lot of newly bereaved people do this. I know I met several on my holidays who had recently lost their partners and who were serial holidayers. They were all trying to fill a void,

But I realised that it wasn't for me.... ..the holidays were enjoyable enough but they won't bring my husband back, neither will spending my money on "stuff".

I have already gifted substantial sums to my children so I don't worry about "spending their inheritance". I am free now to spend my money as I see fit but tbh splashing the cash wouldn't make me feel happier or significantly improve my life. I live simply and have all I need.

Triplea.....I think you have sufficient self awareness to know Yourself and are unlikely to end up living like a pauper. If you are you uncomfortable with splashing the cash then don't. As long as you and your wife are happy and aren't doing without then that's all that matters.

missile

Life is for living. Money can't buy happiness, but to procrastinate over buying things you might enjoy sounds a bit like scrooge.

Sea_Shell

I think it can be a hard shift in mind-set if you've always been a saver, to switch to being a spender, even if not on extravagant things.

To have years in the accumulation phase...then to watch the numbers (possibly) dwindle is difficult, but then you have to ask WHY were you saving in the first place.

For us it was for (very) early retirement, which is now 80% implemented, and so you come to realise that that "rainy day" fund owes you, and it's now its turn to provide for you.

pollypenny

We've just about stopped long term saving. We use Nationwide's regular saver account, ditto Marks to stash money away for replacement bills (garage roof this year).

Luckily we each have a good pension and my AVC is doing well, too. So far, we've managed decent holidays without going into the long term savings and we treated ourselves to a business class flight to America on an interest free credit card.

Judicious use of vouchers and offers for meals out etc are a bonus.

joansgirl

I'm not trying to save at all, I realised when I packed up work last year that my pensions would not cover my expenditure and that I'd be living at a loss. However that had all been budgeted for.

Yesterday I had reason to review my financial position and was surprised to discover that even though I've been living at a loss for 11 months I actually have £1000 more in my pot than when I stopped working :huh:

Maybe I didn't do my sums correctly originally :think:

Still, who cares, it's only money