Any OCD success stories on here?

square_bear

I've just come back from a week long holiday sharing the accommodation with an OCD sufferer.
He's had this condition for about 15 years now and to me it seems as though it's got worse.
In the past he's stayed at my house on occasions, never being more than a couple of nights and I can just about find the experience tolerable.
But now, after spending a week with him I feel as though he really could do with some help.
Constant washing of hands and feet, hesitating when entering or leaving a room, stepping up and down stairs before climbing them, refusing to touch his own waste food and litter etc.
He's had therapy several times before but feels it's just a waste of time.
Maybe it wasn't the right kind, suited for him? I think.

I just want some guidance on how I can help.
I'm hoping for any success stories that I can share with him to give him some encouragement.
Thanks

ska_lover

What kind of therapy has he had?
Thing is, in my experience, any mental health problem isn't SOLVED by meds or therapy, it is lessened, mildly. I dont know of a permanent 'cure' for this kind of issue and never heard of anyone where it completely goes away

Would be helpful to know what he has tried before hand? CBT etc?

square_bear

Thanks for your reply.
Yes CBT was one of the therapies he had but I will need to ask him a bit more about anything else tried.
He's reluctant to talk about it all, embarrassed and awkward.
He also is dyslexic and suffered at School too.
I'm not sure where to start.

hollydays

Perhaps he found living with you stressful too?

TARDIS

My father has severe OCD/personality disorder and in my experience over the years therapy and drugs only take the edge of things to allow him to compensate a little better so that it is not so disabling.

He needs to actively engage in therapy to get any benefit and this can be difficult if there's associated anxiety/depression which there often is.

square_bear

hollydays wrote: »

Perhaps he found living with you stressful too?

Possibly.
I mean, I just sighed at the mess and delays and so on. No shouting or aggressive behaviour was expressed by me or anyone else. Just standard peeved behaviour without ignoring the various situations.
This is why I don't really know what to do to help.

square_bear

TARDIS wrote: »

My father has severe OCD/personality disorder and in my experience over the years therapy and drugs only take the edge of things to allow him to compensate a little better so that it is not so disabling.

He needs to actively engage in therapy to get any benefit and this can be difficult if there's associated anxiety/depression which there often is.

Where does he start? He has little faith in the Doctor or the NHS. But now around 15 years have passed since the last therapy would treatment have changed with the NHS?

square_bear

Sunny_Intervals wrote: »

Are you sure he wants you to help him?


Having been through years of unsuccessful professional treatment, the last thing I want is for someone to wade in, pester me into talking about stuff I don't want to discuss and turn me into some sort of project. (I realise you just want to help him and it's coming from a good place, just giving you a heads up as to how it may look from the other side.)

I have spoken to him about offering my help which he did appreciate but replied with ' I've tried therapy already and it doesn't work for me, so there's no point in trying'
He finds it awkward asking for anything (food or drink at my house, shop assistants etc)
So asking me to help him, if he thought I could, would be a big task for him.
The thought of him trying to live with this without knowing how to manage it is quite upsetting.
I want to come across as being supportive and not a busybody.

square_bear

I know thst I don’t have the experience or knowledge to help him but was hoping that someone here had found a therapy or unique approach to deal with their own behaviour and therefore share their experience.

That’s all.

I’m offering him guidance to a professional who possibly could offer a different pathway to cope with his daily life which makes life less stressful for him.

dancing_star

I know you're doing this with the best of intentions but I would second Sunny Intervals in suggesting you back off a little.


I have an illness that rears its ugly head from time to time and to be honest, the worst thing folk can do is come up with 'helpful' suggestions. "Why don't you just..."



It's patronising, it suggests I'm too thick to have thought of their helpful suggestion in the first place, and it implies they know better than me about my illness and my thought processes. They don't. I do, and I know my illness will not be defeated by logical arguments about why I shouldn't do X,Y or Z and why I should do A, B or C instead.



The other one that boils my p--- is "why don't you go see a therapist?" Well, actually, you can't get an NHS referral unless you're half dead, and to be honest the whole process of referral is so traumatic that when the doctors tell me I'm not ill enough to warrant help, it makes me feel a whole lot worse.



And for another - suggesting I see a professional tells me that person is not 'safe' and that they do not want me to talk to them about my issues. So I back off and don't let them know when I'm struggling.



Like Sunny Intervals, I don't want people to 'fix' me. I want people I trust to listen, without butting in with their opinions, I want to be able to express myself and have a metaphorical hand to hold.



You don't have to be actively trying to help, to fix it, to be a source of support. The Samaritans aren't there to offer suggestions, just to listen, and in my opinion listening has become far too unpopular.


If you don't want to or can't cope with being a silent support, simple, you don't have to be. If my friends told me they couldn't cope with hearing me at my worst, that's fine, I appreciate it and I would value their honesty.

iammumtoone

Have you actually asked him if he is ok with his condition and wants help?


How you saw him would not be typical of what he is like in his own home. As long as he can cope and manage in his own home is the main thing, we all get more anxious/stress in a unfamiliar environment and live with it as its only a few times a year, this is more noticeable with these kinds of issues it does not meant that person is like that 24/7, yes they will have the problem all the time but not necessarily to that extent.


As much as you tried to hide your annoyance I can tell you that would have been picked up on and made the situation worse.



May be rather than trying to help him to be 'cured' your efforts would be better placed with helping him to manage within his limits, for example you say he is not good with shop assistants, can you offer to do his shopping or help him get set up with online shopping so he doesn't need to deal with them etc.