Journey of a determined single mum

abbylou

Well, this is it. My diary.
I have been lurking here for ages reading diaries and feeling so much inspiration from the many positive stories.
A bit about me.
I became a single mum almost exactly two years ago when my ex left very suddenly and shacked up with ow who he met at work. This was a devastating time for me and my kids but I am in a very different place now and ready to sort my life out.
I work full time and have two children.
I bought my ex out of our home and still live here with the children. It is a struggle financially and the house is a bit of a dated mess but it’s home and we love it.
So I think I have been burying my head in the sand for a while with regards my finances. I had to spend a lot to buy the house and my mortgage took into account the maintenance I was getting.
Unfortunately ex decided to jack in his well paid job unexpectedly and now pays a lot less.
Over the last few months my debt has crept up and up, especially credit cards. When I added up the total tonight it scared me and shocked me.
Tomorrow is payday so tonight I have sat and worked out a budget for the coming month. It allows me to put money aside for things like birthdays, Christmas, car service etc. It is very tight and leaves little for treats but hey ho, needs must.
I think I have been frittering money willy nilly for a while and it needs to stop.
I am going to account for every penny and write everything down that is spent.
Today I have made a start. My phone contract finished last month so I have changed to a sim only deal meaning I m now paying £12 a month instead of £53!
It’s a small start, but a starry nonetheless.
I expect my diary will be extremely full to read but I think it will help me to document my thoughts and my singing - if I get some good advice along the way, bonus!

Honeysucklelou2

Single mum here too and have been for almost 2 years but I'm still in the process of getting things sorted out with the ex. Good luck with your debt free journey.

Mumoffourkids

Another single mum here as well. I have been properly single for about a year but before that I was pretty much doing everything myself even though my then partner was living with me.

I started tackling my old debts when my ex moved out as I was then able to set a budget and control the budget myself.

Good luck with sticking to your budget and clearing your debts. I found as soon as I started to track everything I spent, I found I didn't actually like spending money as I wanted to pay everything spare off my debts.

abbylou

Thanks for the good luck wishes, great to know i’m not alone!
My ex was terrible with money and drifted from job to job all the time being supported by me. I never resented that because you don’t do you? But boy do I now!
While he was training for his last job (a good job I have to say) we got into a lot of debt and it nearly sent us under. I was so relieved when he qualified and got a good job. We were just starting to find our feet when he dropped the bombshell and left.
I’m glad we have sorted the house out,that is a big relief but it wasn’t easy for me to get a mortgage. My credit history is shot to pieces but improving slowly.
If I am honest I have been very slapdash with where my money is going and I need to seriously tighten my belt.

abbylou

I went to Home Bargauns this morning for a little stock up of cleaning stuff - I had run out and tend to do this monthly at the beginning. Rather than browsing, I just bought exactly what I needed and I have duly taken the total off my monthly shopping budget.
I have had a good clean this morning, I always better able to tackle things when my house is clean and tidy.
I also made an over payment of £8.90 to Very this morning as I had slightly over-budgeted. Rather than just make the minimum payment I decided to keep it slightly over - every little bit and all that!

efes_shareholder

Another single mum here albeit my kids are no longer dependant on me , I sailed the alone ship for a good few years and know the challenges you face

Good Luck , I'll be reading and willing you on

abbylou

Well i’ve Made it to the end of day and i’m still determined - that’s a first for me!

The dc are at their dad’s tonight and I really wanted a nice ready meal and a bottle of wine - but I didn’t get them.
I had gin and tonic that I already had and cooked some pasta.

abbylou

Today I will be tackling my first food shop undercthe new regime!
It should be a fairly good one as I don’t have the dc with me for a few days.

I have realised I have promised dd we would try and get her haircut today and that’s a budget pot I haven’t set up - haircuts! It will have to come out of my pot this time.

abbylou

Well I am very impressed with my shop! I got a weekly shop for £51 today for the three of us- albeit a bit smaller than usual as the kids are with their dad a bit more than usual.
I was really impressed with myself. I bought everything on the list and nothing else.

Then I remembered the kids needed new water bottles and lunch boxes - where do they go?
That, along with snacks for ds to take to his mates for the bloody YouTube fight was another £15!

I think I need a budget for school essentials too! I have one for school trips as ds has one i’mhalf way through paying for but I think just a small miscellaneous school one would be good.

Honeysucklelou2

Good idea, there are often odd things that crop up over the academic year.

Mumoffourkids

Well done on sticking to your list. I have a weekly general budget of £70 which is for anything miscellaneous for school as there always seems to be something and any treat spends for me. I also pay my gym membership out of it. Anything left over goes to the debts. I am lucky my budget allows this amount but it has saved me a few times for things I have forgotten to budget for.