At what age would you leave kids alone while you holiday

gettingtheresometime

I can't remember my exact age but I would have been 17/18 when I was first left at home with my 14/15 year old sister for a fortnight.

We lived, & obviously survived.

The difference being there was no social media....for the potential of parties getting out of hand....but I think these days any hint at that & the police gets called

I think it depends on what the family are like generally......are they trouble makers or quiet as a church mouse or somewhere in between?

Pollycat

I'd be less concerned (from a selfish perspective) about someone thinking it's perfectly acceptable to leave a 13, 15 and 16 year old on their own for a week than I would having what I would perceive as some sort of responsibility for them foist upon me by someone who lived across the road.


Of course we don't know the relationship between the OP and her across-the-road neighbour and we don't know what tone the conversation took. It may have just been a jokey one and she's actually got a friend or family member to keep an eye on the kids.



But if arrangements are not in place and something goes really wrong, is the neighbour going to hold the OP responsible in some way?
I'd want that cleared up before she went off with her boyfriend.

peachyprice

MY children specifically, none at age 13!

BUT lot depends on the dynamics of the relationship between siblings.

My twins I wouldn't have left alone until 17-18 because world war three would have broken out.

I would have left my daughter at the age of 15-16 with one of her older brothers but not the other, they're 6 years older than her.

My daughter was left alone last month, she's 17 next week, her brothers no longer live at home.

There is no one size fits all answer, all families are so different.

FreddieFrugal

Robisere wrote: »

I know that today it would be dangerous for children of 8 to travel alone, but it was a different world then.

In reality, you were probably at far greater risk (statistically) as a child in the 1950s than a child alive today.

Problem these days is not that it's become more dangerous for children - but that the media's reporting and many recent high profile cases have created that impression.

The general public perception is very far from reality.

The real danger from this is that many parents have become overprotective - to the point where their children are never allowed opportunities to develop independence, take risks and learn from them, away from their parents.

Where we also have a very large number of children who never leave the house, spend too long on electronic devices, lack positive, enriching social interaction and have become physically inactive.

Many children simply haven't had opportunities to develop the skills they'd need to look after themselves independently.

That's the real issue.



(But specifically in response to the OP's situation - I think a week is a very long time to be leaving a 16 year old in charge of a house and two younger siblings - but it depends on the individual children involved really. If they're very mature and capable - if there were other family nearby that they could ask for help if needed.)

Pollycat

NeilCr wrote: »

I read it more that she asked the OP to report back to her if the kids had a party not have any responsibility for them.

As others have said this is an "it depends". Think I was 15-16 when parents went on holiday without me. I really didn't want to go! But I had two grandmothers who lived together three doors down the road.

I'm approaching this from the way I would feel and if it had happened to me, I'd feel some sort of responsibility knowing that there were 3 teenagers (only one of whom is over the age of consent) alone for a week.

Spendless

I left my eldest overnight for the first time aged 16. It was the week he'd finished his GCSEs and was very limited the night he was alone. He watched his sister in an evening performance in another town and then at the end of the night was taken by his Godparents back home whilst we stayed with his sister who was doing 2 more shows, so we were back the following evening.

At 17 we left him for a weekend, though I think he stayed one night with relatives and this year after he turned 18 we left him at home for a week whilst we holidayed abroad.

Never left him with his 15yo sister as concerned they will be too much of a clash like there can be during the day when we're working.

As said, it very much depends on the maturity of the kids, their personalities and the dynamics between them.

swingaloo

Some interesting replies.

I don't know the neighbour in a 'pop into each others houses' way. She works in the local supermarket so Ive gone through her checkout a few times and then when she moved in across the road she would wave hello and Ive taken parcels in for her a couple of times.

I don't really know her kids. The eldest 2 are boys and the youngest a girl. They seem quiet enough although there have been a couple of late night issues, once when the eldest lad arrived home drunk and he fell over her garden wall and she was screaming at him to get in before he woke the neighbourhood. Quite funny really as we wouldn't have heard anything had she not come out. On another occasion we were arriving home from a night out and it was about 1.30am as we had been to a family party and had a 60 mile drive home. On that occasion there were 2 police cars outside her house and the same son was being spoken to but Ive no idea what had gone on. None of my business.


She did ask me in a 'Will you keep an eye open' way but I don't know the kids to speak to and wont be in a position where Im popping in to see all is well.


I know her ex husband lies in Durham as do her parents so I don't know what family support she has.


hopefully all will be well.

Pollycat

swingaloo wrote: »

Some interesting replies.

I don't know the neighbour in a 'pop into each others houses' way. She works in the local supermarket so Ive gone through her checkout a few times and then when she moved in across the road she would wave hello and Ive taken parcels in for her a couple of times.

I don't really know her kids. The eldest 2 are boys and the youngest a girl. They seem quiet enough although there have been a couple of late night issues, once when the eldest lad arrived home drunk and he fell over her garden wall and she was screaming at him to get in before he woke the neighbourhood. Quite funny really as we wouldn't have heard anything had she not come out. On another occasion we were arriving home from a night out and it was about 1.30am as we had been to a family party and had a 60 mile drive home. On that occasion there were 2 police cars outside her house and the same son was being spoken to but Ive no idea what had gone on. None of my business.


She did ask me in a 'Will you keep an eye open' way but I don't know the kids to speak to and wont be in a position where Im popping in to see all is well.


I know her ex husband lies in Durham as do her parents so I don't know what family support she has.


hopefully all will be well.

Hmmm.
Falling down drunk at age 16.
I too hope that all will be well, but I wouldn't be holding my breath.


One wonders if the ex knows she's leaving the children on their own for a week.

Loz01

13, 15 and 16 is too young IMO, mainly because I dont think its fair on a 16 year old to have to look after the other two. Esp for 7 days while the mother goes away with the boyfriend.... great parenting (!!!)

74jax

Pollycat wrote: »

Hmmm.
Falling down drunk at age 16.
.

I moved out at 16 and was doing much worse....

Seconds thoughts maybe I'm not best to comment on this thread :rotfl: