Money Moral Dilemma: Should I claim my unpaid child support?

ska_lover

Id persue it for my son

Id tell 2nd husband to suck it up. Hes bang out of order

moneyistooshorttomention

Methusela wrote: »

You might want to think carefully about your second husband's approach, that if he can't keep the windfall himself then he would prefer you to give it up rather than let your son benefit from it. In my view no decent father/grandfather/great-grandfather (I am all three) or step-father who is worthy of his position as A MEMBER OF THE FAMILY should take such a self-centred attitude.
In your shoes I might worry about what would happen if your 2nd hubby ever won a million on the lottery; you might find him saying "I paid the £2 for the ticket so I'm keeping all the money for myself, bye-bye".

I don't think that's fair.

Second husband will know more than we could ever know about what the circumstances were in which the pregnancy started and may not feel it's fair for there to be any "child support money" paid for it.

We have no idea whether the child was wanted/planned by both parties at the time of conception or no and imo that's very relevant.

EDIT; "Head of the family" wording crossed out - because it's the 21st century and the woman might be "head of the family" or they might be joint "head of the family".

Patricia01

If you do get it from the ex it probably won't be a lump sum, but maybe split it?

Starrystarrynight1

Child support, when it's paid on time, doesn't go directly to the child; it's paid to the resident parent and goes towards the costs of raising the child. If you and your second husband brought up your son, presumably he was also contributing towards the household, including the costs of raising your son, then I feel that you and your husband should keep the money.

I've never heard of a case like this, though. Did you have an open case with the CSA (or whatever it was at the time) and now they are able to deliver?

JayD

Personally, I am very doubtful that you will see any of it .... BUT, if by some fantastic stroke of admin. you are repaid the money, it is YOURS! It was meant to help YOU to bring your son up, feed, clothe, nurse, entertain, educate, ferry, and in general support him. YOU did all those things without that financial support, so it is YOU who should have it and do what YOU want to do with it - whether that be to give some/all/none to your son, share it with your new husband, treat yourself, treat you all, give it to a charity or just throw it in the bin!


If you get it - then make it YOUR decision what happens to it and no one else's.

f0xh0les

Get the money, split it 3 ways, gift your 1/3 to your son, let second husband keep his 1/3. that way no arguments, you all win.

Scruge

Yes you should claim it.



This money was awarded to you & your son because his father wasn't there to support you. If It was paid when it was due you would have accepted the payment without a second thought.



What you do with it is up to you. How would you have used it if paid on time? If it was for household bill's clothing etc. keep it as you've paid already and are simply being reimbursed. If you feel you can afford to give it to your son and it will benefit him then do so.