Tidying up the mess

BabyStepper

I'm not sure where this month has gone, time just seems to have flown by. Again I have nothing major to report, just the usual trying to stick to the budget and keep the credit card totals going down.

I have had a few unexpected expenses this month. Then remarkably I finally heard from the TSB re. my complaint from May when the IT issues happened. £150 in my account. :T That definitely came in handy.

I have dropped the ball somewhat elsewhere though. We had a couple of treats during our annual leave and I'm just realising that once I start spending it is hard to stop. The emergency fund has been hit by non-emergencies. I'm trying to get back on track but it is very hard and my brain just doesn't seem to want to do it!

So time for a long hard look at the figures today and seeing where we are. At least we are not spending on the cards. Even in a bad month the debt will not go up ever again.

enthusiasticsaver

Sounds like you are doing it well but finding it hard to stick to a budget. Ideally it needs to become second nature that you watch what you spend and don't buy aimlessly. The emergency fund should be emergencies only and building a treat (entertainment, meals out) allowance into your monthly budget. Also maybe a personal spends so both you and DH get a certain amount to cover things like clothes, haircuts, hobbies etc.

Pre empting payday is a common problem. Our pensions come in the end of the month but our budgets reset on the 1st so that is the date the bills come out and our personal spends and treats money goes into various pots on the 2nd. Setting a date other than payday for you to transfer money around may help you not to anticipate your income.

Well done on not using the cards.

DD265

I am the same as you BabyStepper, once I start spending it tends to open the floodgates.

What tends to get me is that 'mid month' phase when all your money has come in and been allocated, debts/bills are paid, then you're in limbo waiting for the next pay day. My motivation definitely slips at this time of month.

I find that the sooner I update my budget the sooner I get back on track and stop the spending spree in it's tracks. I try to update my budget daily, and then hopefully it's just a day's worth of naughty spending rather than several.

It can also help me to have a category for whatever the spree is likely to be - and the budget to be reasonably generous. E.g. if I know I need to buy a jumper and it's likely to cost £30, if I can I'll budget £50 then I have a bit of wriggle room when I see a t-shirt that goes with the jumper.

Oh and I know I spend like an idiot in TK Maxx particularly, so I try to avoid it unless I have a very good reason to go in!

BabyStepper

This month seems to have gone belly up. I feel like we are living in 'austerity' hell and I don't know how to change this. Result: big spends with not much to show for it. I have no idea how the Dave Ramsey debt free screamers manage this for 2-3 years, I just don't know. We both miss going out with friends, we miss going out with family, we miss new things when we need them and we miss treats. I know Dave would say 'call the wah-mbulance' as though we were being petty and silly but this does not feel much like living. We are both becoming very fed up.

Part of the problem is definitely my developing business. With more work comes increased expenses. I am definitely getting there, things are improving, but it is terribly slow and I just don't know how long I can hang on for with it all. We had agreed I would try this for a year, we are not even half way there yet so there is still lots of time, but I feel guilty for putting OH through this and for how bad we both feel about it at the moment.

We had a discussion about loosening the budget to allow for more of a social life. To me that doesn't feel right either. We need this debt gone, it really needs to go away, and there is only one way to do that. I have read back over my diary and smiled when I read about 'persevering'. It really is the only answer, but is also very difficult.

And right on cue, when the emergency fund has taken such a hit this month, the oven broke down. Who knows how much that will cost, I can't even bear to think about it.

Thanks for listening to my whinges everyone. I'm going to look around the boards for some cheery soul's diary to help me get my mojo back.

DD265

I'm sorry it's feeling tough at the moment. Do you think planning a night out (or in with a takeaway) would help and give you something to look forward to?

There has to be a balance, and it's entirely up to you how that falls. I guess sometimes it's easier to be frugal and others you need a bit more flexibility.

GlendaSugarbean

Sorry you are going through a sticky patch. Is it worth sketching out a few different scenarios in terms of different t levels of debt payments / income to see where it leaves you? If you're in this long term it does need to be sustainable.

BabyStepper

Thank you DD265. It's good to know there are people around who understand. I have just managed to get 3 new clients this week so I think a bit of flexibility in the budget could be really helpful just now, and possible. As always I'm worried it will lead to the plan completely collapsing but I just need to bash on with it all.

warby68

Sometimes weekly budgets for certain items (especially the treat type ones) can help rather than monthly as its only ever a few days until they are filled again. It can also help keep your plans a bit more modest rather than being so desperate that when the big monthly top up occurs you blow it on something quite lavish and are then back to square one.

You could build in some earnings related rewards eg each new client earns a takeaway or similar (but only when they've actually paid) as this shouldn't affect the existing budget as such as its a new income stream.

It would be worth testing whether you feel better with frequent small treats or less frequent big ones ( I know, I know you want them both but needs must )

Other posters are correct, you need a decent balance to stick with it for the long term. Living within your budget AND reducing debt mean you are achieving 2 big changes at once. If it takes a bit longer to do the second one that's probably ok as mastering the first one so its second nature means that things WILL take a huge leap forward without you doing anything else once the debts are paid.

Lydia42

I agree with what the others have said. You can't cut back completely and have no life otherwise you will resent having no fun/treats at all and wont stick to it. Hubbie and i get 'pocket money' just like the kids do. I've just drawn all our pocket money out today as i got paid. Kids have got their pocket money of the month now, hubbie will get his when he gets home. This is for us to do what we want with - no guilt, no pressure. It's another item on our budget. I know without this we would be really miserable and it's hard enough trying to stick to being frugal as it is.

BabyStepper

Thank you as always for your good advice. :A It is so valuable, particularly in trying to keep track of everything and noticing patterns in behaviour and spending. I am about to do a budget in preparation for November, taking Christmas into account and everything else, and had a few thoughts.

Things I hadn't included in the budget were clothing, socialising and haircuts. I had thought we would figure that out as we went but it seems there is often no cash left. I have never felt so shabby in all of my adult life! As of November we will each have a small allowance for taking care of ourselves. We can review the amount as we go. I think I have learned enough to not go nuts and book the most expensive haircut, or spend all of my clothing allowance on one item. I will also make a point of spreading these things out through the month so I don't feel so deprived. Me and OH have small families so it is possible to keep a tight budget over Christmas. Even so, we will spread the cost over 2 months.

I also have possibly another new client. :T A boost to the budget at this time of year is exactly what I need and I'm feeling much more optimistic today.

Thanks for staying with me through all of this.