Which dating site would be best for finding someone who wants to settle down and have a family?

Soundgirlrocks

okborednow wrote: »

I've got no personal experience but i believe the selling point of eHarmony is that the site analyses your values and interests etc to match you with someone compatible. It is a paid for site but it might be worth the investment if it helps you meet the sort of person you want.

Eharmony is awful and expensive in my opinion!

Huwbert

Seconded! Very few actual matches on there.

Huwbert

Have been having the same problem, especially having moved from a big city to East Yorkshire, so the number, frequency and size of social clubs (incl Meetup) and dedicated dating events is somewhat diminished!

MovingForwards

What hobbies and interests do you have, there may be a forum or FB group for it. Join ùp, join in, get chatting to people, you may find your partner...

I 'met' my OH on a forum, knew we were to be together. It took a couple of years before we spoke on the phone and nearly a week before I travelled over 300 miles for our first date. Everything I took with me for that weekend stayed in his flat. We were engaged on 4th date, 5th date I got the ring after another proposal (I accepted both of them) and we were living together within 3 months.

Honestly, you just never know how you will meet 'the one'

DairyQueen

I met my husband on the Times dating site. That was a decade ago so no idea how good/bad it is now. I was amazed at just how many responses I received (hundreds) and had a date or two most weeks. There were a few weirdos/pervs (they seem to lurk on every site) but the vast majority of the people I met were genuine. I had a great year and met some really interesting people.

The site required a sub to contact people and, yes, this kind of site attracts those with particular politics (various shades of blue in this case) and most were over 30. Also 'professionals' dominated (accountants/lawyers/business owners/directors/pilots/military/police/writers/academics - you name it, I met them) and most people I met were divorced.

I also tried PoF and match. Ran a mile from both as the pervs were everywhere. Not even subtle. eHarmony was a complete waste of space.

Maybe the trick is to choose a site which is already targeted at those who may have similar interests/politics/careers to you? I note that someone else upthread also met their spouse via a newspaper sponsored site.

I didn't have children but was open to meeting people who did. Some didn't want more, some did. Most were 'maybes'. Are you discounting single/divorced parents from your criteria? If I had done so then I would never have met my OH.

I also lived less than an hour from London at the time and was open to meeting people who lived within a couple of hours drive. My OH lived 60 miles from me when we met and the distance wasn't a problem. I never met a single person from my home town but plenty from London.

Good luck. Online dating isn't a waste of time; you just need to find the right one.

KnightRider

Thanks all for the replies! :-)


I had a look at The Times dating site - I don't read newspapers generally but thought it might be different... unfortunately everyone on there seems to be much older than me! Most of the women it showed were around the same age as my mum!


I think eHarmony is a non-starter. I live in the biggest town in the county here, near to London, and I wouldn't say there's a small population here... yet eHarmony apparently struggles to find women around my age in the area! All I can conclude from this and other sites I've looked at is that nearly all the women in their 30s here are all happily married and I guess I'm too late! ;-)


Not many interest groups here (surprisingly) and those that there are tend to schedule their meetings late on weekdays. I appreciate people want to keep their weekends free but when you work like I do and have to get up very early in the morning, staying out until late the night before isn't very practical or appealing.


Do many people meet through forums? I can't really imagine many do! How would that work?

Blondetotty

The people on here have given you all sorts of suggestions from using different websites, to asking friends, to joining groups and expanding your hobbies but you just keep coming back with excuses as to why those ideas are no good. How did you expect this would work? That a magical unicorn would just fall into your lap one day? It doesn’t work like that sadly. You don’t seem to be prepared to change anything, you just want to find a perfect baby mamma online right now and that's probably one of the worst ways to find someone. One saying that sticks with me is “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you always got”.

If finding the perfect woman is that important to you then you need to make it a priority in your life, like your work is. You don’t get to be successful in your job by just sitting on your backside; you make an effort, so do the same in your woman hunting and maybe you’ll be successful there too.

Get out of your comfort zone and try some new activities which includes, yes, going out in the evening. Take a day working from home or leave the office early or start later. Whatever. Just make the effort to go out once a week or so and stop bellyaching about why you can’t. Talk to everyone you can even just a random comment to the person behind you in a coffee queue. She or he might just stop, chat and think hmmm you might be perfect for my single friend. It’s about making connections with people, not just women. The guy you end up having a chat with at the beginners kayak lesson might have a single sister. You don’t know and if nothing else you’ve got some interesting stories about that crazy kayaking group to tell on your next date because us women like guys with stories and a life, not excuses.

BrassicWoman

Blondetotty wrote: »

The people on here have given you all sorts of suggestions from using different websites, to asking friends, to joining groups and expanding your hobbies but you just keep coming back with excuses as to why those ideas are no good.

I agree.

Perfect woman will want someone with some initiative and gumption, not someone who needs instructions for life. Right now you sound like a project, not a partner.

Get off your backside and do stuff. If you can;t do that, get a coach or a counsellor until you can.

sitesafe

Try Meetup.com - if there's a shortage of groups in your area that interest you you can start your own. There's groups for weekly coffee meets, Sunday walks with lunch after, dog walking, cinema, outings, drawing and painting, keeping fit, meals out, pub quizzes - they are very easy to attend as there are a lot of people are a member of many and you won't feel like the 'new person'. Many needn't cost anything such as the walking and most are free to join. You might meet someone and become involved outside of the groups

JamesFuller

OP you are better off asking women in person.

Online dating is a whole load of rubbish for long-term relationships of anything meaningful.

Why?

Just look at the way the apps are designed, they are like games where you are always swiping and that is what people do secretly even if they are dating someone. It's rare to find someone who will delete their account once you start dating.

On top of this, it is quite looks based.

I don't have many positive things to say about online dating if you are looking for a serious relationship, sorry to say.