Challenging a will

le_loup

Terry_Towelling wrote: »

Now, I can change my Will to pass everything to the children to prevent a lot of this from happening. Some might think that was an inappropriate thing to do and that she should fund her own care without burdening the tax-payer.

Terry_Towelling wrote: »

I will await your apology, le loup.

Pretty incompatible, methinks.
However, you must do what your conscience dictates.

SevenOfNine

Terry_Towelling wrote: »

My most recent Will (2002) passes everything to my wife in the event I predecease her. She is 20 years my senior, so it never really crossed our minds that I would pass first. Anyway, things do tend to come out of the blue and seems there is now a chance I may go first.

le loup you can be very helpful sometimes, on this occasion it might have been best if you'd read the first paragraph of the initial post before deciding to be, & continue to be, 'snippy' with OP.

Terry T - change your will, you are not leaving your wife destitute & unable to contribute to her own care, not undertaking deprivation of assets, you have researched care homes & are comfortable with your choice of action. No, there is no reason for the LA to challenge your new will.

seashore22

Terry_Towelling wrote: »

Obviously I didn't make things clear enough in my first post and I will probably sound as prickly as you in this post.

Please read my other post in reply to Elsien. On top of that I didn't ask you to tell me whether I was right or wrong, I asked whether anyone knew if an LA could challenge a Will in the circumstances described.

If you see me as some heartless cretin that would abandon the woman he loves you are wrong. I'm not going to give you our life-story or provide so much detail that people will not read it all.

Passing the inheritance to the children has less to do with feathering their nests than protecting the value we have worked so hard to build up and ensuring that we can meet the level of the better care home fees for as long as possible. We could have squandered everything on high-living and left the state to pick up the whole tab but thought we'd try to do something good for each other and our children.

You might want to talk to your husband about what provision he will make for you rather than simply 'hoping' that he will want the best for you if you are ever mired in the disaster that is dementia. It's not all about old people looking at black and white photos of the war and asking the same question over and over - but maybe you have as many years of 24/7 experience of it as I do and know that already.

It may not be 'OK' in your eyes for the tax-payer to fork out for other people. Do you have the same view of people who have children and expect the tax payer to pay for their day-care or for people to receive what used to be called 'family allowance' and tax credits. Surely, if you can't afford to have children you shouldn't expect others to subsidise their upbringing?

Since my mum is in the mid stages of dementia and I have a dad who isn't coping well this this at all, I think I have a fair understanding of what I'm talking about. My mum was physically violent to my dad recently and is verbally violent to just about everyone. Given the family history there's a reasonable chance that I will get dementia and an equally reasonable chance that my husband won't. Quite frankly that terrifies me right now, but doesn't change my view on who should be paying for my care, if that becomes necessary.

Terry_Towelling

seashore22 wrote: »

Since my mum is in the mid stages of dementia and I have a dad who isn't coping well this this at all, I think I have a fair understanding of what I'm talking about. My mum was physically violent to my dad recently and is verbally violent to just about everyone. Given the family history there's a reasonable chance that I will get dementia and an equally reasonable chance that my husband won't. Quite frankly that terrifies me right now, but doesn't change my view on who should be paying for my care, if that becomes necessary.

You have my sympathies for the plight of your mother and father. My wife also went through a violent stage which lasted about 2 years. The consultant psychologist wanted her taken into care then (and that would have been all state funded regardless) but I refused to betray her that way. She's much calmer now and will stay with me until one of us dies if I can manage it.

I pray you do not get dementia and I urge you to get things like LPAs in place now and to work out exactly what you, your husband and children would like to happen if the worst does happen. Your fear is understandable but don't let it dominate. The future will be what it will - worrying about it merely deprives us of the strength we have today - sorry if that sounds trite, but I truly wish you all the best.

Terry_Towelling

SevenOfNine wrote: »

le loup you can be very helpful sometimes, on this occasion it might have been best if you'd read the first paragraph of the initial post before deciding to be, & continue to be, 'snippy' with OP.

Terry T - change your will, you are not leaving your wife destitute & unable to contribute to her own care, not undertaking deprivation of assets, you have researched care homes & are comfortable with your choice of action. No, there is no reason for the LA to challenge your new will.

Thanks for your understanding and support.