Thinking of buying wife a house and getting a legal separation

The_Maestro

Poor_Single_lady wrote: »

People who pay for their children are not saints.

You are trying to legitimise playing the system, and taking out as much as you possibly can.

The benefits system is for people in genuine need- not for people who have 2/3 properties and 60k salary.

Not at all. It has nothing to do with the children. I am saying I am not paying for an adult who will be single and unassociated with me.

We have 1 property almost half paid for and a flat I am told is worth 10K.

And I have a 60K salary now but not if I go down to 3/4 days per week. I've sacrificed time with the children to be away earning money. That's the flip side of the feminist nonsense about "the women sacrificed her career" which you never hear.

The_Maestro

A_Nice_Englishman wrote: »

A year ago you didn't think you'd be in a position to look after the children at all, let alone play an equal part in bringing them up.
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/72839791#Comment_72839791

Stop trolling. Read what I said there. I opened up with "We have 2 young children whom I would want at least joint custody of".

'Custody' of course does not exist any more.

I said it would be difficult. I've made many moves since then to be much more involved in the children's lives. I took the maximum 4 weeks extra parental leave this year and have discussed with my line manager going down to 3/4 days per week.

In addition to that I've reevaluated things and decided that nothing is worth being away from the children that much. I'm just not going to be that guy spending all of his time working, not seeing the children.. Sorry. I don't even like work, and why should I be working 12 hour days trying to provide a good future for my family when the family is breaking up. The children will benefit more from having a Dad who is around even if he doesn't earn that much.

A court may well say, nah you carry on working in your stressful job 70+ hrs a week and pay x amount per month and never see your children. I would say sorry, I am downing tools.

Poor_Single_lady

You want advice on hiding assets and claiming money you shouldn't be entitled to, but you think somebody else is a troll?

I don't think you are capable of understanding why you should pay for her.
It doesn't seem to matter to you - you're one of those people who just seems things from your perspective and if you can steal from other people why not.

A_Nice_Englishman

Poor_Single_lady wrote: »

You want advice on hiding assets and claiming money you shouldn't be entitled to, but you think somebody else is a troll?

I don't think you are capable of understanding why you should pay for her.
It doesn't seem to matter to you - you're one of those people who just seems things from your perspective and if you can steal from other people why not.

Reading his latest post suggests he is beginning to realise that being a good father isn't about earning loadsamoney and paying for childcare to give his wife a break. If I was in his position I'd reduce my hours now or better still got a job that I enjoyed and didn't involve long hours and extensive travelling. I'd spend the time gained doing things as a family. I might even find I could repair my marriage that way.

jackieblack

The_Maestro wrote: »

1. We are not going to court

Maybe not in person, but details of the financial settlement will be.
Even if you come to an amicable financial agreement between the two of you it will still need to be approved by a judge and sealed by the court

The_Maestro

Poor_Single_lady wrote: »

You want advice on hiding assets and claiming money you shouldn't be entitled to, but you think somebody else is a troll?

I don't think you are capable of understanding why you should pay for her.
It doesn't seem to matter to you - you're one of those people who just seems things from your perspective and if you can steal from other people why not.

I really think you have a problem comprehending simple things. Where have I said anything about hiding assets?

Where have I said that I am going to claim anything? We are talking about someone else claiming something at a time when they are a single adult legally unassociated with me. If she is not entitled to claim as you say then please share the facts about that and not your personal feelings, it would be greatly appreciated. I already know that the fact she has some cash and an asset will affect her claim.

It fairly obvious you think that married adults should pay and be responsible for each other even after they legally divorce or separate, just because y'know that's what you 'feel'. Either come up with some facts or go away.

The_Maestro

A_Nice_Englishman wrote: »

Reading his latest post suggests he is beginning to realise that being a good father isn't about earning loadsamoney and paying for childcare to give his wife a break. If I was in his position I'd reduce my hours now or better still got a job that I enjoyed and didn't involve long hours and extensive travelling. I'd spend the time gained doing things as a family. I might even find I could repair my marriage that way.

I've never thought that earning loadsamoney was the way to be a good father. I do that because the other person in the partnership will not contemplate anything other than childcare and a bit of housework.

One the the main reasons for the excessive hours is me being too soft with my employer, I am far to agreeable with them and don't know how to say 'no', but I am learning.

I doubt it will save the marriage, my wife would prefer me to be away all the time. These problems started coming to a head at the same time I started spending more time at home.

The_Maestro

jackieblack wrote: »

Maybe not in person, but details of the financial settlement will be.
Even if you come to an amicable financial agreement between the two of you it will still need to be approved by a judge and sealed by the court

Yes, I need to look into that thanks. Although I currently don't know of any reason why a roughly 50/50 split would not be acceptable when the intention is to share childcare roughly equally.

Scorpio33

Hi!

I am in a similar position, although, we both work and have a lot less assets. I am also being made redundant, so am able to look for a job that fits around the kids in the future.

From what I understand about the divorce process, they will start with a 50/50 split of the assets and then that will be amended based on many factors. One of them is who is the main carer going forward, but they will also look at potential earning powers. Now that is not your current salary, but what you could earn. As you work and she doesn't, that would mean that she would get a greater share of the assets. The children are one factor, but as she doesn't work, she would be entitled to more of the assets.
Apart from the split of the assets, the future payment to your wife as I understand it is child maintenance and spousal maintenance. Child maintenance can be zero if you have a 50/50 split of the child care (which includes daytimes). From what I understand, spousal maintenance is rare and generally doesn't get awarded these days.

The other thing is you both need to be able to live going forward, so she will need to look into finding a job, but she will also need to look at benefits. From what I understand, if you have assets greater than £16k (excluding your main home and pension), then no benefits will be paid (apart from the child benefit which everyone gets). Given the £8k savings + the flat in Moscow, it is likely she will get zero benefits, and a possible solution is for her to sell the flat in Moscow and use her savings. Once those assets have been exhausted, then benefits can be looked into. To be fair though, these are things she needs to look into.

The only other aspect is that the split of assets as decided by the courts is above, but any agreement between you and her is cheaper and better than what the court decides. So basically, your plan is a good one, as long as she agrees to it...

NeilCr

To clarify capital and savings ceiling for UC (and other income based benefits) is £16k

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/universal-credit/before-you-apply/Check-if-youre-eligible-for-Universal-Credit/full-service/?uc-postcode=Ct119PW