Split family and MIL!! Do I just give up?

System

Kim_kim wrote: »

I!!!8217;m going to buck opinion here, she!!!8217;s not his gran, she!!!8217;s his step dads mother. She!!!8217;s not his blood gran & she!!!8217;s not wanting to be his nan.
I wouldn!!!8217;t have made him call her gran, she!!!8217;s not acting it.
I think it!!!8217;s perfectlt ok for her to be his stepdads mother and leave it at that.
Your sons confusion will be thinking she!!!8217;s more. If she!!!8217;s just Doris then she!!!8217;s just an old lady relation & he probably won!!!8217;t be unhappy about it, as he won!!!8217;t have any expectations of grandmotherly love.

Well she should have thought about that before she insisted on him calling her Grandma!

Kim_kim

Judi wrote: »

Well she should have thought about that before she insisted on him calling her Grandma!

The “grandmother” clearly isn’t that rational or nice.

gettingtheresometime

Louise1234 wrote: »

We are completely fine, our relationship is really strong, our little family life is bear enough perfect. We have our own house, good jobs, financially stable. Great relationship with everyone else it's just MIL.

If she doesn't sort it with my son.... maybe I am mean..... but she won't be having anything to do with the new baby until she sorts it out

Sorry what I meant is that at the moment it sounds like she's tolerating your son but the moment she has two 'blood' grandsons I doubt he'll even get a look in.

If you do ban her from having a relationship with the new baby then it will be you that will get the blame.

Marvel1

I hope your finance carries out his promise and cuts ties with her.

Soundgirlrocks

Does your son have any contact with his biological dad and his family? As he has grown up knowing this woman as Grandma (at her request) it is difficult but I would encourage other positive relationships within the family, try and keep the toxicity away from your son. You can't force this woman to treat both boys the same but you can try and mitigate the effect it has.