What a fudgewimple

laveugle

SuperMoose wrote: »

If I'm wrong I apologise but haven't you also posted as ohbumstoitall?

If not please do read their threads as you will find a similar story to yours and it may be helpful to you.

Ugh...you know when you just wanted a fresh start and someone calls you out on it.....

StumpyPumpy

laveugle wrote: »

Ugh...you know when you just wanted a fresh start and someone calls you out on it.....

Ugh... you know when people spend lots of time and effort trying to help someone only to find out they had already been given the advice a couple of months ago under a different user name and ignored it?

Personally, I think it is incredibly discourteous (and against forum rules) to create multiple accounts to ask the same questions over and over again, hoping against hope that someone will eventually stumble on the answer you are looking for, no matter how wrong that answer is.

There are some posters on these fora who give an awful lot of their own free time researching and offering advice to support people; I'm not one of them but I think it is exploitative getting them to do the same work over and over again when you already have their answers and they would be better served by offering their skills and expertise to a genuine newbie with a genuine desire to redress their situation with the right advice.

People will still help you even if you have been here from the start of MSE going back and forth with debt, but you need to be honest with them and, more importantly, with yourself otherwise you are doomed to fail: especially if you continually drip feed information as a new user rather than giving the whole story which is actually already available and has been previously assessed in a earlier thread.



SP

laveugle

StumpyPumpy wrote: »

Ugh... you know when people spend lots of time and effort trying to help someone only to find out they had already been given the advice a couple of months ago under a different user name and ignored it?

Personally, I think it is incredibly discourteous (and against forum rules) to create multiple accounts to ask the same questions over and over again, hoping against hope that someone will eventually stumble on the answer you are looking for, no matter how wrong that answer is.

There are some posters on these fora who give an awful lot of their own free time researching and offering advice to support people; I'm not one of them but I think it is exploitative getting them to do the same work over and over again when you already have their answers and they would be better served by offering their skills and expertise to a genuine newbie with a genuine desire to redress their situation with the right advice.

People will still help you even if you have been here from the start of MSE going back and forth with debt, but you need to be honest with them and, more importantly, with yourself otherwise you are doomed to fail: especially if you continually drip feed information as a new user rather than giving the whole story which is actually already available and has been previously assessed in a earlier thread.



SP

Firstly - my comment was in jest.
Secondly - I didn't ignore it and also, I am unable to log into that account anymore. I also wasn't drip feeding, I took onboard ALL the advice I was given and tried to make changes but sometimes life happens and you make mistakes. I'll refrain from further posting and ask admin to remove the thread.

I was feeling motivated by everyones advise and now I just feel like a crock of sh*t

StumpyPumpy

laveugle wrote: »

Firstly - my comment was in jest.
Secondly - I didn't ignore it and also, I am unable to log into that account anymore. I also wasn't drip feeding, I took onboard ALL the advice I was given and tried to make changes but sometimes life happens and you make mistakes. I'll refrain from further posting and ask admin to remove the thread.

I was feeling motivated by everyones advise and now I just feel like a crock of sh*t

If you wish to continue to play the victim then so be it. But, for the record, try to avoid saying things like "I am unable to log into that account anymore" when the truth is that you last logged into that account at 1:20pm on the 23rd of June 2018 and you created this thread at 12:44pm on the 20th of June 2018. So it would seem that one piece of advice that you didn't take and continue not to take is

...but you need to be honest with them and, more importantly, with yourself...

Carry on posting here and follow that piece of advice and you might actually dig yourself out of the hole you're in. Don't leave on my account, I won't be posting on a thread of yours again, unless you create yet another user name and I don't realise, that is.


SP

lovesmakeup

StumpyPumpy wrote: »

If you wish to continue to play the victim then so be it. But, for the record, try to avoid saying things like "I am unable to log into that account anymore" when the truth is that you last logged into that account at 1:20pm on the 23rd of June 2018 and you created this thread at 12:44pm on the 20th of June 2018. So it would seem that one piece of advice that you didn't take and continue not to take is Carry on posting here and follow that piece of advice and you might actually dig yourself out of the hole you're in. Don't leave on my account, I won't be posting on a thread of yours again, unless you create yet another user name and I don't realise, that is.


SP

I got myself into a massive amount of debt and trouble and sought advice on this forum, I've not posted for a while because I've been concentrating on fixing my life. But I saw this thread and sympathised with the OP because I know how it feels to make repeated mistakes and get yourself into such a mess that you can no longer breathe.

Your responses I have found distressing because this person MAY have made two logins, and I'm asking myself why. I don't think they are being malicious I think they clearly are quite distressed. I can see why they would have done it, perhaps they felt ultimately completely ashamed of their failure and started again. But you've successfully scared them away haven't you because you decided to be the internet police. Do you know what its like to have someone come at you so viciously? You didn't need to comment you could have just left them alone.

My advice OP is to ignore the above poster, you made a mistake but don't let this affect you as from my experience vitriol can really affect me and send me sliding back down the debt mountain. I wish you the best of luck but I don't have any advice because I'm a complete muckup myself!

Brookside88

lovesmakeup wrote: »

I got myself into a massive amount of debt and trouble and sought advice on this forum, I've not posted for a while because I've been concentrating on fixing my life. But I saw this thread and sympathised with the OP because I know how it feels to make repeated mistakes and get yourself into such a mess that you can no longer breathe.

Your responses I have found distressing because this person MAY have made two logins, and I'm asking myself why. I don't think they are being malicious I think they clearly are quite distressed. I can see why they would have done it, perhaps they felt ultimately completely ashamed of their failure and started again. But you've successfully scared them away haven't you because you decided to be the internet police. Do you know what its like to have someone come at you so viciously? You didn't need to comment you could have just left them alone.

My advice OP is to ignore the above poster, you made a mistake but don't let this affect you as from my experience vitriol can really affect me and send me sliding back down the debt mountain. I wish you the best of luck but I don't have any advice because I'm a complete muckup myself!

Agree, some of the comments above are completely unnecessary

anna_1977

You're obviously struggling a lot - I've been and read one of your threads from the other username - you only had £76 left a month without a dog walker so that was never really an option.

I really think you need to address the issue of your spending habits - you spent £10,000 (yes £10k) in 2 months on your CC! Sorry but I think you do have a spending problem.

By admission some of the items are listed below - why not sell them to start paying the debt

A new iphone
A Nintendo Switch
An Amazon Echo
A shed load of makeup
New straighteners
I already have a hairdryer but I bought a travel hair dryer
1 second hand Ralph Lauren Handbag
A couple of other not as expensive handbags
A new £90 a handbag
A second screen for my computer
Computer stuff
Batteries for my camera.
New tripod
A £50 voice recorder for university
A floor steam mop.
A waffle maker
A holdall
A £90 dress to wear at the christmas party
Another dress I didn't wear
Shoes I didn't wear to the party
A £140 haircut and colour
More makeup (bearing in mind palettes can cost £40 EACH upwards)
Christmas Presents
A salt and pepper mill, which arrived and I discovered that I already had some.
silicone egg rings
university books (finally something I can justify)
a laminator (YES A LAMINATOR)
a food diary
perfume
travel bottles so I can decant shampoo when I go down to London. I haven't decanted a ruddy thing
a laundry bag to go in my suitcase for when I travel
Another fire TV stick to replace the one upstairs which I haven't actually done yet
£300 spent on the scratch on my lease car bonnet
£160 spent on a dash cam to make sure i catch anyone who does it again.
£70 on a microphone
£20 on pet groomer clippers but the dog runs away every time I try to get her with them
Expensive korean skincare
a travel mirror I've decided is too heavy

I'm sure you'd get a few hundred if not more for that lot - especially including the iphone. I read you also have an iPad Pro with pencil - sell that

On another note - how was leaving the dogs at home for a couple of days the other week?

warby68

Some comments may be harsh but misrepresenting yourself makes it hard for people to want to help repeatedly. They want to deal with the 'real' person (still anonymous) and the real problems and slip ups not a slightly skewed presentation which then contains untruths to maintain the facade.

It would be much more useful if OP followed up on their previous thread - what worked, what didn't, what went wrong, why they've taken a few more seemingly financially problematic choices than pretend to be someone coming at problems for the first time. They won't be first debt laden people to have a few false starts.

OP ( and her child's father) clearly have huge problems in setting priorities and making certain life choices - its about far more than money. I cannot get out of my mind a scenario where parents are giving far more attention to the dogs than to their child's teeth - quite openly admitting he might not have been to the dentist for over half his life because dad couldn't be bothered. I hope help is being sought for whatever causes these problems.

I know people feel vulnerable but a truthful picture will get a much better level of support. And being realistic there is no point giving advice if the true situation is materially different. And its only fair that people know if the same advice has been given previously and not acted upon.

AstroTurtle

SuperMoose wrote: »

If I'm wrong I apologise but haven't you also posted as ohbumstoitall?

If not please do read their threads as you will find a similar story to yours and it may be helpful to you.

It's the same person?!

Thats the diary that spent £10k on makeup and stuff?

If since your last debt free pot you've increased your debt by £17,000 the answer isn't to simply just rack up £10k in spending and then make £1,500 on Ebay every 2 months.

Cut the cards up before you do further damage, Speak with a debt charity as your spending habbits will bankrupt you before the end of the year.

I thought the dog walking fee's were whats killing your income but the impulse spending is your biggest downfall, get help with this professionally as having an "episode" and wacking £10,000 onto an american express is dangerous.

lovesmakeup

One hopes OP hasn't been so dissuaded that they've left.