Do you think a relationship can be saved if it reaches the Break-up talk phase?

JamesFuller

This is something I have been wondering about.

Do you think a relationship can be saved if it reaches the Break-up talk phase? I.e. When the partner calls you in to have a "chat" and you get a funny feeling in the stomach that something is up.

Let's say the relationship is at 1 year stage, can it be saved? What if the break-up talk was at 3 year stage? Or 5? Could it be saved?

Of course it depends on the reasons for the break-up, but if the person who is doing the break-up initiates it and you are probably blind sided, can it be saved at that point? If so, how?

Rachel83

Surely thats down to the individuals concerned and the issues they have to face. Definitely not one set of rules for a break up chat.

74jax

I'm not sure I know what you mean.

Do you mean 1 wants to break up but the other doesn't?

Or do you mean one wants to talk and the other doesn't?

Savvy_Sue

I've known two relationships survive things which I think would have finished it for me, but it absolutely depends on the people involved.

I've also tried to persuade someone to have 'the chat' because they weren't happy, and if their partner - who didn't know anything was wrong - didn't 'shape up' on a forthcoming holiday - without knowing they needed to - then that was 'the end'.

I then tried to quietly suggest to the partner that they might benefit from some 'quality time' on the forthcoming holiday, but they thought everything was fine and dandy.

It didn't end well.

Trina90

Yes, depends entirely on the people involved though.

We broke up twice (both times only for about a week, maybe not even that).. when we were 18 and 20. 8 years later we are married, and couldn't be happier, and he regained my trust 100% (both times it was him). In my eyes a strong relationship is one that has been put to the test and survived.:)

Ozzuk

Are you thinking of having the chat? If so, try and do it with positive intent. Rather than go in saying I think we should talk about breaking up/going on a break etc, ask to have an open and honest discussion about your relationship.

That may lead to breaking up, but also might lead to a good discussion and better relationship and learning how to communicate. Try and pick times when you aren't angry/upset - so right after an argument would be bad timing.

At what period it happens in a relationship is irrelevant: the reasons for the talk/how you both feel/how you communicate will decide the relationship.

[Deleted User]

Sometimes it can be a great way to communicate and clear the air so a positive thing in moving forwards with a relationship,


but if one person wants to break up and depending on the reason you may have no choice but to split ie it maybe that someone has just fallen out of love but with no particular reason / fault.

Scorpio33

My personal point of view is that any relationship can be saved in theory.

However, it needs absolute commitment from both parties to (a) recognise how they contributed to the issue (and be able to change) and (b) have enough compassion so that they understand they other persons perspective.

I think relationships generally end as people value other things above the relationship, so don't have enough desire to change and fix what can always be fixed with enough effort.

Just my thoughts...

onedaysomeday

I agree it can be a good way to clear the air, OH and I had a serious chat a while back as we were both unhappy with the way things were but it gave us the chance to communicate about what we needed from each other and how certain things made us feel. It got better once all that had been said and done and agreed on what would help going forwards. It wasn't a pretty conversation by any means but it needed to be done and helped in the long run

Equally though I've done it many times going into the chat with others in the past knowing I want to break up and nothing could change my mind

Really depends on the couple as others have said

onlyroz

I do think that people should be given a chance to change. So say "I don't like it when you do X, Y or Z, and unless you stop don't by them I'll have to evaluate our relationship".

AylesburyDuck

Probably asking this question on an internet forum will only result in giving you one conclusion.........
That everyone is different and nobody has a definitive answer to that one.