Weekly Flylady Thread 11th June 2018

atypicalblonde

Good Evening friends

Firstly, huge hugs to you Jojo. I echo what everyone else has said, please look after yourself.

I have been lurking but not posting. In summary: funeral went as well as it could. DH and I have been on shaky ground and nearly separated (hardly surprising given we are having such a carp time of it). Tax enquiry still rumbling on - steep learning curve, we owe money which inlaws are lending us, all genuine mistakes, nowt we can do about it now other than learn and move on. Anything else is a path to madness!

Cleared grandma's personal effects today. So so sad.

I have been working almost full time in a local school and hoping to get a permanent position in September (admin support). Need the money and the mental stimulation. If DH and I did separate, I would be screwed so I want to earn my own money again.

I have missed you all, desparately. xxxx

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Honey_Bear wrote: »

Jojo, I've been worried sick all morning about you. I realised, in the end, it was because you seem more concerned about someone else's delicate sensibilites than you are/were by your inability to focus or stay upright, amongst other things.



I'm sorry to have to say this, but when things get so bad that you have to order protein drinks to be delivered to work so that you can get enough nutrition, worrying that someone else will have an attack of the vapours if you ask for beans on toast is not rational. It's thoughtful and kind, but it doesn't solve the immediate problems you're experiencing.



I'm thrilled that he's pulled his socks up today, and I'm sure he's a lovely chap, but you are clearly very under the weather and, if you haven't noticed, quite a lot of us are very worried about you. And we feel helpless.

Yeah, he has been/is being a complete wobbly knob, but it is without malice. When I'm well, it's a whole lot easier - but I've known for months that the meds weren't working as well as they should and if something else is going on, it's been developing at the same time as that and him getting worse again.

When the GP asked if he'd said he had noticed anything unusual, I answered that he might realise I'd lost a leg if he tripped over it on the way to the bathroom, but otherwise, he wouldn't be the best person to ask. And he had been quite prepared to call off seeing his son at zero notice if I wanted him to come to the doctors' with me on Monday (which would quite likely have resulted in a megatantrum from the XW and cessation of all contact) - as if I was really going to let him do that.

If I could manage work and shopping and cooking and cleaning, it wouldn't be an issue. Not because I'd willingly do everything, but because it wouldn't make that much difference to me whether he was being competent (as he can be) or less use than a pair of shoes for a slow worm.

Of course, it would help greatly if he could handle my slightly volatile moments (I attribute my continued existence, from premature baby needing resuscitation through various childhood injuries, both accidental and non accidental, near misses and accidents, ex boyfriends and emotional stuff, more due to good luck and sheer bloody mindedness than anything else) - I do have problems with the idea that hearing a vaguely irritated tone is something to fear - but that's how he is. And yelling at him !!!!!! get a ******** grip, you have a generally great life and the **** that is there, is at least 50% your fault and 25% nobody's fault, so stop mithering about and deal with it, satisfying though it would be to do, would not have the desired effect.


I'm not making excuses for him. He's being utterly crap at the grown up thing - and is worse at looking after himself. It just doesn't seem to be in his nature to survive - he typifies a Rabbit in the Headlights and, were it 100 years earlier, he would have been one of those poor souls who were institutionalised with shell shock or shot for being unable to go over the top of the trench.


[shrug]

I have felt much better today. Possibly because of being able to spend it sitting down and having a decent amount of what I'd call proper food. I'm about to go to bed and use the time to stick in a big food order again to come when he's away - with lots of protein sources, as he always falls back on carbs/sweet things/stuff I regard as junk.

My legs still hurt, though. So it'll be another very static day tomorrow.

Dizzy_Imp

Morning lovelies

Did anyone else notice Valli's oopsie yesterday in that Friday's list went up? I did, so I took Thursday off, which serves me right as I fell down the stairs, brained myself, skinned my arm and elbow really badly and it feels like I've broken my ankle (sure it's just a sprain, but I'm feeling melodramatic)

I told you my foot hurt...

Jojo - big, massive, huge, snuffly, protecting hugs to you. God girl, you are having a really carp time of it ATM.

And ATB - you hang in there too. You hear me? We've got your back. This too will pass. XXX

*Hobbles off to DH's work to provide cooking help for his trade day...

mrs-moneypenny

Morning all
Hugs to everyone and extra for those who need them.
Busy all day today so need to get a wriggle on.
Going to see dad tomorrow, going to be quite emotional as he's going to be in respite care. His dementia is now so bad my poor step mum needs a break. She's feeling guilty as they've told her she can't visit him for the two weeks he's in as it may upset him. Can't take any of his usual treats as diabetes and dementia don't mix well he would forget he'd just had a chocolate and eat them all. So going to go in search of a vintage tractor mag before we go to visit.
Had to do tough love with mum in law as well this week, she's in good health for a 90 year old but getting increasingly demanding and clingy, it seems to have worked as dh said she seems happier now when he visits and says see you tomorrow love instead of god willing I'll still be here when you come again! She's even arranged to have afternoon tea with a local friend every week instead of just sitting in the chair counting buses while waiting for dh or me to pop in. She does go to age concern every week for a meal, the nurse calls in regularly, I've arranged a nice lady gardener who she chats to and I do her cleaning and shopping as well as dh going to see her everyday after work so I think she was being a bit dramatic when she says she never sees anyone and she feels abandoned.

Right better get on as I want to hang washing out before I go to work,
have a good day all. X

ionafan

atb, have an enormous (((hug))) from me. Please keep posting - we are all here to support you. Good luck with your job search.

More (((hugs))) to Jojo. Glad you're feeling a bit better, but please insist that your man feeds your proper food, regularly - even if it means meal planning for yourself and getting home deliveries (in the long run it will be less expensive than him running out to local shops for junk food and your health suffering). I hope your results come back today and your GP acts swiftly.

kazwookie wrote: »

Strawberries picked out of the garden, and tasted so nice

We enjoyed the first of our home-grown strawberries yesterday, too: de-li-cious!!!

kazwookie wrote: »

I have seen ready and frosting and icing as these products any good? or am I better off making my own? like I say it is years and years

To my taste, both are very sweet, but they are certainly convenient. Hot water icing made with just icing sugar and H2O is sufficient for most things, I find, and I far prefer buttercream made with butter rather than any substitute, even if that means having smaller quantities.

It's been a busy week and no sign of slowing down. I have to meet a deadline next Thursday but will be at college on Tuesday afternoon/evening and out all day and all evening on Wednesday, so reality means that I have to do loads of work over the long weekend. Then I have another deadline a week later. I mowed the lawn in an odd half-hour yesterday evening; have kept the washing up to date; dust, wipe and hoover only when and where necessary; and am relying on DH to water the patio pots (which he does grudgingly). I'll try to keep up with the thread, but don't expect to see much of me otherwise for the next two weeks! Only another 3 lectures to go, and one further assignment to be handed in after the end of term...

(((Hugs))) spoons and sticks all round, as needed xxx

Mademoiselle

Big hugs to those that need, and remember to look after yourselves.

All fine here, WM on again and still another load or 2 to go then we might be back on top of it, although OH will be back tonight with a weeks worth.
Shopping done.
I think we are going to go to the boat this evening and try and have a sail on Saturday to check everything still working fine. Means I need to find bedding to take with us but it will feel like summer is here being on the boat.
Sunday we're out for a bbq with friends as a farewell do for one of our lovely colleagues.
Xx

kazwookie

Jojo, Dizzy, and ATB HUGS xxx

A HUGH frog eaten, my tax retrun, all done and submitted online, plus a 'bonus' the amount I have been setting aside each month to cover what I owe is more than enough with some left over!! so in an odd fashion I am well happy with this.
So going forward I am reducing the amount I set aside for tax year 18/19, the extra will a) pay for OH birthday party b) pay for 'treat' days out.

So far today
Hoovered all downstairs
WM done, all out on line
Tax return done
Opened a new saving account for the 'treat money'

Honey_Bear

You're on the home run, Ionafan! I hope the presentation went/goes well, and that you survive the final push without getting the screaming abdabs.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

I have felt much better today. Possibly because of being able to spend it sitting down and having a decent amount of what I'd call proper food. I'm about to go to bed and use the time to stick in a big food order again to come when he's away - with lots of protein sources, as he always falls back on carbs/sweet things/stuff I regard as junk.


My legs still hurt, though. So it'll be another very static day tomorrow.

Here's hoping the bloods' results come back with an easily treatable result and you're back on an even keel really quickly. I thought about suggesting meal planning and getting the food you like eating delivered but realised you are more than bright enough to have figured that out for yourself. (((Hugs)))



Ah Dizzy; what with wonkyness from doing too much gardening and now falling down the stairs you're clearly in the wars. *Healing vibes* for you. (And for Jojo, obviously.)


ATB you are much missed at the moment, and it sounds as though things are very sad and trying. (((Hugs)))



Mrs MP, I'm so sad about your family seniors. It's a tough stage, watching people we've known when they were busy and vigorous go through elderly afflictions. (((Hugs))) for your step-mum in particular.


I've watered the apple tree (by neighbour's hose), the pear tree (70 litres by watering can and bucket), the lavenders and rose bushes by watering can, the pots on the front steps by watering can, the sundeck pots and troughs by w/cans. I've also scrubbed out the bird's drinkers, cleaned the peanut feeder and old nyger seed feeder, and fed the robin and lady blackbird on Kelpie's second walk. I'm sloshing coffee down like there's no tomorrow because if I stop I'm never going to get started again.



Double bed stripped, second WM load twirling, kittens allowed to play in the yard while I tied up the sweet peas, and Kelpie fed his treat. He was most upset I'd forgotten it.

LameWolf

Jojo and atb I could literally cry for the sheer carp both of you are going through at this time. But all that would do is give me red puffy eyes, and not help you in the slightest.
Please know you are both in my thoughts, and I will petition any deity who will listen for better times for you both.

Dizzy - are you trying to live up to your screen name? Ouchy - sounds nasty. Rest up if you can, if that ankle doesn't feel better stat, get it looked at; and make sure you put some $avlon or something similar on the scrapes.

Mrs MP coping vibes heading to you; it sounds like a very difficult situation to manage. Dementia is such a very cruel affliction.

On our front - Flying just isn't happening, I'm afraid. Though I must throw the Dys0n round after Honey leaves this afternoon ready for tomorrow's meet'n'greet.

However - Mr LW now has an appt with a neurologist. He'd heard nowt back from MK Hosp so, as per the instructions on the online booking system, he called them today. Appt set for 16:30 on Sat 7th July, which is sooner than any appt offered online at Northampton or Bedford. We conclude that the NHS Choices and online booking system suck!

Narc0lepsy

Hugs to Mrs MP, Froddingtonand anyone else supporting relatives with dementia; it is hateful at times. Mr N goes round to check on his mum most days - it isn't how I wanted him to enjoy his retirement. You just have to learn to go with whatever you are presented with each day and let it ride over you, as getting stressed/irritated etc will make no difference to them but will work against your own MH. You have to learn to be creative with solutions to problems you didn't predict; a few weeks ago we had a phone call at 1.10am as MIL had gone to the bathroom in the night, unfathomably not putting on the light switch (which is in the hall) then groping around inside the bathroom to find a switch and pulling the red emergency cord in error. The message we got (as the cord alerts a centre miles away) was that she was in the bathroom and couldn't find her way out. Major panic as we envisaged total disorientation etc, but by the time we got there she had found the door handle and got out......Easily solved by finding a small night light to plug into the shaver socket over her washbasin, so at least now she can see which end the door is but isn't kept awake by leaving the hall light on. We do have a giggle though; last week we had arranged to take her out for a meal. Mr N went in to get her while I was turning the car round, and had to spend some time convincing her that a meal in a restaurant didn't require her to take a large shopping bag containing a large empty biscuit tin..........

Anyway today I have:
- met my friend's daughter to give her an hour's counselling (she is dyspraxic)
- been to Body Attack
- put away a basket of dry washing
- opened doors and checked greenhouse
- checked and emailed a report
- ordered my holiday currency
- emailed church rota lady to make sure she has my holiday dates
- instructed Mr N on garden tasks needing doing before we go away i.e. pick all the rhubarb, plant out broccoli and a couple of raspberry canes which are homeless. Also pick strawberries and raspberries.
- written myself a list for the next day or 2; won't do a "last 6 days before I go on holiday list" or I will panic.
- started another report.

Hugs to all others who are struggling, atb, JoJo and anyone else I have forgotten.