Leaving a comfortable but unsatisfying job - complex!

Les79

MrBrindle wrote: »

My line manager has changed 3 times in the space of 2 years, and I applied for the role 2 months ago, but didn't get it because they felt I was better suited within my current role but they softened the blow by offering an extra 2k a year. I felt this was a little but unreasonable because my position holds senior values anyway. The job has been grating away at me for a few years now, and I've been getting a bit frustrated seeing colleagues achieving managing roles and getting company cars!

This bit jumped out at me. I think them upping your wage was very generous in one respect, because it clearly shows that you are valued and you may well be somewhat irreplaceable (nobody is, but sounds like you are close).

That being said, it was also the perfect opportunity to NEGOTIATE! You should have turned round and said, "look, I appreciate the 2k pay increase but I ideally want to be on a more senior level. I already do X, Y, Z which demonstrates my suitablility and desire for this. I am looking for more of a pay rise of £X and/or company car to stay in the role, as I am an asset to the company".

Or something along those lines!

I have an opportunity to work as the design / marketing chief for my brothers new business. The business is located in my hometown, around 40mins away (current drive is 30mins). Slightly more money as well. The business is quite family orientated with my parents also playing a part, and a lot of my extended family live in the area as well.

Could be good!

Only thing I'd be wary of is the longetivity of this new company Vs your current one. Plus, you mention "slightly more money" which to be honest doesn't strike me as a point you are *too bothered* about; you seem more annoyed at the lack of progress. In that respect, would your brother be the type to afford you new opportunities?

In any job you would run these same risks, but luckily for you this new job will be a bit more transparent because of your family ties; so you can get a better idea of where you will be standing in 1,2,5,10 years down the line.

Unfortunately I'm going through a period of anxiety and depression at the moment following a recent house move, we're still in the same area we've been in for 8 years. But for some reason I have now a deep longing to move back to my family hometown now, to feel safe and secure, and surrounded by my family. I don't know if it's my depression creating this idea of wanting to be in my hometown or if it's a genuine feeling.

Seems a bit weird after 8 years. But then again, we aren't counsellors I'm afraid so where you live is something you'll need to figure out I'm afraid.

My worries include leaving a job which is comfortable to work for a newly started business. Leaving good friends I have made in my current job. Slightly longer commute, even though I can work from home 2 days a week. Main emotional worry is that working in my hometown may drive my longing to live there, while having to travel back home each day where my partner and 2 girls live.

- I agree with the newly started business comment, will it work out? Who knows. Mind you, your current company isn't immune to being closed down... You know your brother, what is his business work-ethic like? Will he be keeping the ship afloat and building upon it? Or just letting it sink?

- You'll always have those "good friends", plus more that you make in any new job. Strange how you are longing to be home right now, but you are also worried about losing friends attached to work by changing jobs?

- Slightly longer commute seems to be a non issue, what is 20 mins extra a day?

- Don't mean to sound rude, but your partner and those two girls are your family as well.

Ja7188

OP, I think you need to properly understand what is driving your desire to move back to your hometown - there could of course be a link to your depression, but I think you need to dig further into this before you make any decisions. I hope I'm not out of line by suggesting that you talk to a counsellor (if you aren't already).

In your shoes I'd stay in your current role for the time being - clearly it has its frustrations as you describe, but it's also comfortable and to me it sounds like you should be avoiding the stress that any new job can bring - at least for the time being.

MrBrindle

Les79 wrote: »

This bit jumped out at me. I think them upping your wage was very generous in one respect, because it clearly shows that you are valued and you may well be somewhat irreplaceable (nobody is, but sounds like you are close).

That being said, it was also the perfect opportunity to NEGOTIATE! You should have turned round and said, "look, I appreciate the 2k pay increase but I ideally want to be on a more senior level. I already do X, Y, Z which demonstrates my suitablility and desire for this. I am looking for more of a pay rise of £X and/or company car to stay in the role, as I am an asset to the company".

Or something along those lines!



Could be good!

Only thing I'd be wary of is the longetivity of this new company Vs your current one. Plus, you mention "slightly more money" which to be honest doesn't strike me as a point you are *too bothered* about; you seem more annoyed at the lack of progress. In that respect, would your brother be the type to afford you new opportunities?

In any job you would run these same risks, but luckily for you this new job will be a bit more transparent because of your family ties; so you can get a better idea of where you will be standing in 1,2,5,10 years down the line.



Seems a bit weird after 8 years. But then again, we aren't counsellors I'm afraid so where you live is something you'll need to figure out I'm afraid.



- I agree with the newly started business comment, will it work out? Who knows. Mind you, your current company isn't immune to being closed down... You know your brother, what is his business work-ethic like? Will he be keeping the ship afloat and building upon it? Or just letting it sink?

- You'll always have those "good friends", plus more that you make in any new job. Strange how you are longing to be home right now, but you are also worried about losing friends attached to work by changing jobs?

- Slightly longer commute seems to be a non issue, what is 20 mins extra a day?

- Don't mean to sound rude, but your partner and those two girls are your family as well.

Hi Les, thanks for your response.

Regarding negotiating, yes, this is something I could have done. But I am a bit hopeless with those sort of things. In my mind I know what to say, but when it comes to actual negotiating and expressing it, I get tongue tied and struggle. Unfortunately the depression has affected my confidence, and even though I knew I was worth more than what I was offered I didn't have the confidence to back myself up.

My brother has a very good work ethic, and their business has the financial backing of two local investors so the forecast for the company is positive. They have big dreams and plans.

Regarding your point of longing to live home but also worried about leaving good friends in current job, yes this perplexes me as well.

It doesn't help that I'm an incredibly indecisive person anyway, so a big life decision like this feels almost impossible.

MrBrindle

Ja7188 wrote: »

OP, I think you need to properly understand what is driving your desire to move back to your hometown - there could of course be a link to your depression, but I think you need to dig further into this before you make any decisions. I hope I'm not out of line by suggesting that you talk to a counsellor (if you aren't already).

In your shoes I'd stay in your current role for the time being - clearly it has its frustrations as you describe, but it's also comfortable and to me it sounds like you should be avoiding the stress that any new job can bring - at least for the time being.

Thanks for the reply.

Not out of line at all, I have been visiting a counsellor over the past few months after my depression set in. But obviously, she can't make decisions for me.

MrBrindle

Just an update to those that are interested.

I spoke to my current employer at the end of last week, and expressed the issue with my salary against my workload. This is completely against my character so felt quite awkward in doing so. I asked for an additional 10% to reflect my market value, and raised the points that I'd been with the company for 5 years, improved all aspects of the company's marketing material and image, assist all other departments, doing X Y and Z etc etc.

Unfortunately the counter offer yesterday was a company phone, and double bonus at the end of the year. The next pay review would be in November, but pay rise would only be based on my performance this year. They failed to see the point that I'm underpaid when compared to the going salaries for my line of work.

I felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach and somewhat heartbroken last night that a company that I'd dedicated 5 years to improving and building had deemed me not valuable enough. Maybe I was naive to think I was.

The company is growing all the time, and new staff are popping up frequently, so I didn't feel like what I asked for was unreasonable.

I've been thinking about this change of career for weeks now and had to make a decision eventually. I handed in my notice yesterday afternoon, as I didn't feel like I could live with the resentment of working there anymore following that offer. Unfortunately I feel absolutely gutted and upset that I'm leaving my social hub and the good friends I have made there over the years. Keep thinking I've made the wrong decision.

getmore4less

you have a lot going on,

Job that has become a bit stale,
They don't want to move you on as you fit well where you are happens a lot and if the company does not have senior non managerial positions then you could be stuck**
(Places can have more senior roles that are non managerial and pay the same/better than managers where the contributions are more technical or just more productive doing the real work).

You have a growing family and a house move on top all thinks which can create a level of anxiety as any job change involves more risk than progressing where you are.

If your brothers place grows will you be able to grow with it.


** do you have people that could step into your role trained up if not and you stay that's your next move, get others doing what you do so if you move on/up there is someone to fill the void.

you are trapped because people that do the work are a lot harder to replace than line managers, that in many cases if they were not there business would carry on anyway, just a few people would have more to do till they get replaced.

another comment that stood out.

worried about leaving good friends in current job,

This just adds complications, if they are really good friends your socializing won't stop because you leave.

Remember working for family you introduce a new level of obligation of not wanting to let them down.

The key to any career is not only planning your next move but making sure the roles you vacate can be filled to stop the internal promotion blocking.

Sometimes you have to be creative and create the next job where you are or be the right person so they don't need to have you apply you just progress into them.

Maybe you need to be looking for more work to take on and get a junior to take over some of your stuff under your direction, being the only person doing the job is always going to be a trap.

Digital marketing is closely related to IT infrastructure and GDPR strategy who does that work in the company maybe there is something in that direction.

MrBrindle

getmore4less wrote: »

you have a lot going on,

Job that has become a bit stale,
They don't want to move you on as you fit well where you are happens a lot and if the company does not have senior non managerial positions then you could be stuck**
(Places can have more senior roles that are non managerial and pay the same/better than managers where the contributions are more technical or just more productive doing the real work).

You have a growing family and a house move on top all thinks which can create a level of anxiety as any job change involves more risk than progressing where you are.

If your brothers place grows will you be able to grow with it.


** do you have people that could step into your role trained up if not and you stay that's your next move, get others doing what you do so if you move on/up there is someone to fill the void.

you are trapped because people that do the work are a lot harder to replace than line managers, that in many cases if they were not there business would carry on anyway, just a few people would have more to do till they get replaced.

another comment that stood out.


This just adds complications, if they are really good friends your socializing won't stop because you leave.

Remember working for family you introduce a new level of obligation of not wanting to let them down.

The key to any career is not only planning your next move but making sure the roles you vacate can be filled to stop the internal promotion blocking.

Sometimes you have to be creative and create the next job where you are or be the right person so they don't need to have you apply you just progress into them.

Maybe you need to be looking for more work to take on and get a junior to take over some of your stuff under your direction, being the only person doing the job is always going to be a trap.

Digital marketing is closely related to IT infrastructure and GDPR strategy who does that work in the company maybe there is something in that direction.

Thanks for the reply. The company said that getting another person in is difficult at the moment because of office space, and if another person does come along, he or she would probably be under my manager rather than myself. And that person would probably be like an office assistant, doing admin stuff rather than another creative. For example they recently decided to outsource a nice web job I had planned on doing because of my workload.

There is already an IT department within the business, and not sure about GDPR strategy tbh.

thebigstillmeister

I would have left.

I did the same when I worked for a large blue chip company. I moved in to a role and trained up over a couple of years. At the end I did the exact same job as my colleague who was already in the role when I moved across and although we now did the exact same tasks he was still paid almost twice what I was on as they were still paying me a salary based on my last role,

I was also now massively under paid based on market rates. I bought this up many many times with my employer who eventually promised me 2 pay rises over the year (which would still have been well under the market rate and a lot less than my colleague).

I received the first but didn't receive the second, when I asked what had happened I was told 'they forgot'.. and pretty much tough luck,

It was an easy job, close to home but I could not stay as I knew they were never going to pay me anymore when I was already doing the job for them and it was the principle of the thing,

Managed to find another job as a Consultant within a month or so with a 40% increase in salary.

The icing on the cake was that my old employer were now stuck with me gone and they actually approached my new employer and paid for my Consultancy services for 2 months at probably £500-£600 a day where I literally did my old job,

getmore4less

MrBrindle wrote: »

Thanks for the reply. The company said that getting another person in is difficult at the moment because of office space, and if another person does come along, he or she would probably be under my manager rather than myself. And that person would probably be like an office assistant, doing admin stuff rather than another creative. For example they recently decided to outsource a nice web job I had planned on doing because of my workload.

There is already an IT department within the business, and not sure about GDPR strategy tbh.

Have they done this before?

were you involved in decision making.

who has specified this work

who will be managing and measuring the progress/quality.

What happens when that project comes back in house and needs further work?

Time to move on.

MrBrindle

getmore4less wrote: »

Have they done this before?

were you involved in decision making.

who has specified this work

who will be managing and measuring the progress/quality.

What happens when that project comes back in house and needs further work?

Time to move on.

Only before I joined. When I joined 5 years ago, most creative jobs were outsourced to agencies, then I started doing everything in house. Probably saving the company ££££'s, and also ensuring any changes can be managed in-house without paying over the odds for agency work.

Not sure who specified the work, I believe this was initiated by my new manager, even though I have stipulated over the years the main website needs re-doing. She also decided to outsource our main website because my workload is too much. I have mentioned numerous times if we had someone else, I could, and would prefer to do it - along with future web projects.

Funny thing today, my manager asked if I could install the design software on her laptop. One of my pet hates is when people think that anybody can design!