Leaving a comfortable but unsatisfying job - complex!

MrBrindle

Morning all, sorry for long post - looking for some life advice!

I've currently been with my current employer for 5 years, and hold the title of being the sole graphic designer / digital marketer. We are a big company, 300+ employees, 20 branches, 5 brands under one umbrella. I don't want to discuss pay, but for my responsibility and position within the company, I am considerably underpaid when compared with other employers. I would argue that my position is a senior one without the benefits. My line manager has changed 3 times in the space of 2 years, and I applied for the role 2 months ago, but didn't get it because they felt I was better suited within my current role but they softened the blow by offering an extra 2k a year. I felt this was a little but unreasonable because my position holds senior values anyway. The job has been grating away at me for a few years now, and I've been getting a bit frustrated seeing colleagues achieving managing roles and getting company cars!

I have an opportunity to work as the design / marketing chief for my brothers new business. The business is located in my hometown, around 40mins away (current drive is 30mins). Slightly more money as well. The business is quite family orientated with my parents also playing a part, and a lot of my extended family live in the area as well.

Unfortunately I'm going through a period of anxiety and depression at the moment following a recent house move, we're still in the same area we've been in for 8 years. But for some reason I have now a deep longing to move back to my family hometown now, to feel safe and secure, and surrounded by my family. I don't know if it's my depression creating this idea of wanting to be in my hometown or if it's a genuine feeling.

My worries include leaving a job which is comfortable to work for a newly started business. Leaving good friends I have made in my current job. Slightly longer commute, even though I can work from home 2 days a week. Main emotional worry is that working in my hometown may drive my longing to live there, while having to travel back home each day where my partner and 2 girls live.

I may add that I am the only earner in the house at the moment with my partner looking after our youngest until she starts nursery. So even more pressure!

Phew, hope all that made sense!

suiyat`

Been in a similar position myself albeit sans depression).

Left a comfortable, but frustrating job (10 years tenure), that was close to home, for a slightly more challenging one, in an interesting company, with longer hours and a longer commute.

18 months later, I returned to the comfortable job, mainly due to the commute, but also for the 'romance' of returning.

Some regret in returning is there, as frustrations still remain.


Just think about both your options, and how it will work for you. You need to be selfish in these kinds of situations. Remember - if you drop dead at work, you will be replaced within 4 weeks. You need to put yourself first.

But always, always leave on good terms. You might not like the new role, or the may be opportunities in the future at your previous employer.

gettingtheresometime

my instincts tell me (as I read your post re the house move at the time of you posting it) is that this would be a bad move for you.


Whilst I can sense your frustration in your current role to wok so closely with family members is something that requires a lot of extra thought as lines can, and will, become blurred.


I work with my OH and sometimes it is really difficult to separate the work us from the personal us and it has been a real effort not to talk shop when we're at home.


Would you have a stake in this business or would you just become an employee?


My other thought is that you would be narrowing the group of people you associate with and whilst you may feel more comfortable with that thought at the moment, is it necessarily a good thing? Again I've had many thoughts of feeling isolated since I left alternative employment so much so I now feel the need to do something about it.


The other thought is if this is a new set up again would it be able to support all the salaries straight off? The first 6 months of our business was really tough and almost broke us.


I'm not saying don't move - all I'm saying is that this might not be the move that you think will solve all your problems.

MrBrindle

Thanks both for your replies.

Yes, it is a worry working with family members as well. I have seen first hand what stresses can do within family business.

And yes, I do find it very apprehensive going to work for a new business and have raised that issue with my brother and his partner. Who knows what the future holds.

I would only be an employee within the business, no stake.

steampowered

It definitely sounds like you've outgrown your current role and would benefit from a change.

Working in an up-and-coming business sounds like it could be just the ticket.

Do take a bit of time to do some research to try and establish what other options are out there, before making up your mind. There are pros and cons to working with family!

I don't think you should be scared about making a move. Of course there is a risk that it might not work out. But if people were stopped by that noone would ever get out of bed in the morning.

The 'worst case scenario' is that the job with your brother doesn't work out or his business fails. In that scenario you'd just find a different job. It really wouldn't be that big an issue, especially as it sounds like you are being underpaid at the moment!

another_casualty

For what it's worth , I know and have known graphic designers mainly when I used to work in advertising companies . They seem to be an asset to many companies , often doing freelance / personal favours for directors etc. If I was in your situation I'd go freelance ( which seems to pay more from what I'm told) ,or at least start looking for a different employer. I wouldn't work with family tbh , but that's just me
You may find that , if you quit you're present employer may entice you to stay if you're the only person doing your field of work there.

Best of luck

MataNui

You have outgrown your existing role (though perhaps not the company) so doing nothing isnt an option. That frustration will turn to resentment if you do nothing. Perhaps your current employer just needs to see your resignation letter to offer the sort of deal you want. At the moment you come across as a bit of a doormat. I bet thats how your employer sees you too.

gettingtheresometime

MrBrindle wrote: »

I would only be an employee within the business, no stake.

Ah you see that for me would be the deal breaker as it would blur even more lines than working with family would .


(I get royally annoyed when OH gets invited to jollies and I don't!)


In my experience of being in your position of feeling undervalued, a job offer really does start that conversation with your existing employer - I got a £5K payrise by simply getting another job and handing in my notice but the important bit was that I was prepared to walk if I hadn't got a decent payrise.


btw what is it about being a manager you want? Is it the pay / perks or the title? I'm not having a go ..I guess I'm trying to get you to think about what you really want so that you know whatever you decide, it's because it will hopefully provide what you're after (though I do think the house/area thing is clouding the issue)

MrBrindle

Many thanks for all the responses, given me a lot of food for thought.

Going freelance is sort of an option, however I don't feel confident enough doing this being the only breadwinner and having to ensure a constant workflow.

Regarding being a manager, tbh it's not about the title. It's more to do with fair pay. When I applied for my line managers job (Marketing Manager), they openly said that I was probably the best candidate but they prefer that I stay in my current role as graphic designer. However they chucked in the responsibility of being the digital marketer in with the role and then an extra 2k on top. I did try and argue that doing a dual role like that should command better pay - I saw two jobs recently with another company, a digital marketer and a graphic designer, both individually paying more than what I'm on doing both roles! And the company is a lot smaller than my current employer (who have 5 sub brands which I'm also in charge for). Unfortunately I didn't have the balls to argue this to any extent as looking at others' experience within the company, they wouldn't budge. The only people who get anywhere with pay rises within the company are sales guys, if you are not involved in bringing money directly into the company they don't measure your value. It's all about numbers, and as a graphic designer that's not my forte!

I recently got down to the last 3 candidates for a senior design manager role at my local council from 25 applicants, and only got turned down the job because I had no 'managerial experience' (or so I was told, could be that I wasnt right anyway). So I'm pretty confident that I'm worth more than what I'm on.

Tealblue

MrBrindle wrote: »

Unfortunately I'm going through a period of anxiety and depression at the moment following a recent house move, we're still in the same area we've been in for 8 years. But for some reason I have now a deep longing to move back to my family hometown now, to feel safe and secure, and surrounded by my family. I don't know if it's my depression creating this idea of wanting to be in my hometown or if it's a genuine feeling.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is read your own post, because it really might help to clarify your thinking.

You clearly aren't happy where you are and feel undervalued and disgruntled. There's a danger that any change of job wouldn't be going to something you really want to do so much as getting away from something you don't want to do; big difference.

Anxiety and depression have never been known to help clear thinking. Does your partner share your (possibly romantic/idealised??) view that heading back to the cosiness of the nest you outgrew years ago is somehow going to solve all your problems? Might be a point worth pondering.

Do hope things work out for you.

MrBrindle

Tealblue wrote: »

Sometimes the best thing you can do is read your own post, because it really might help to clarify your thinking.

You clearly aren't happy where you are and feel undervalued and disgruntled. There's a danger that any change of job wouldn't be going to something you really want to do so much as getting away from something you don't want to do; big difference.

Anxiety and depression have never been known to help clear thinking. Does your partner share your (possibly romantic/idealised??) view that heading back to the cosiness of the nest you outgrew years ago is somehow going to solve all your problems? Might be a point worth pondering.

Do hope things work out for you.

Well that's where I'm a bit at a loss. Sometimes I don't know what I want in life next, but I don't feel 100% happy where I am.

I've had discussions with my partner and she doesn't think moving back will solve my depression and anxiety, maybe a slight reprieve perhaps. Her argument is that I've been ok for the past eight years so the depression must be playing a part in my sudden feelings to move 'home'.

I did grow up in a very close knit family and community, and don't feel that sense where I am now. However a lot of older family members have passed away by now, so I know it won't be the same.