My fiancee has told his ex I'm pregnant

yvonne13_2

I'm not happy because my fiancee told his ex I'm pregnant. I don't understand why he's done this as I don't feel he had to tell her anything.


Ever since I was with him she would often send messages begging him to take her back. He was with her for 5 years. It didn't bother me as I just thought if he wanted to be with her he would just go. He's never hidden anything from me so I don't know why I'm feeling betrayed.



I shouted at him today and demanded to know why he had to tell her. His responce was he thought she would finally get the message and stop contacting him if she knew. I don't agree and think he should've just ignored her.



She rings and calls of different numbers which he blocks, but she also does it on witheld which he can't ignore as his job calls on withheld numbers. I asked him to change his number which he did and surprise she started emailing him.


I don't know how much more I can take I've told him this whole situation is making me feel insecure and he needs to make me feel secure.



I don't know what to do. I'm sat here crying thinking hes going to leave me for her as she won't stop. I feel what shes doing is stalking, but I don't know if I'm thinking straight.

clairec79

If your pregnancy is public knowledge then I wouldn't be upset at all - I can see why he's done it if her behaviour is as you said, it's a 'this is the woman I am committed to, our relationship has moved onto a new level and I'm never coming back'

If he was going to leave for her he'd have done so by now

yvonne13_2

clairec79 wrote: »

If your pregnancy is public knowledge then I wouldn't be upset at all - I can see why he's done it if her behaviour is as you said, it's a 'this is the woman I am committed to, our relationship has moved onto a new level and I'm never coming back'

If he was going to leave for her he'd have done so by now

My pregnacy wasn't public knowledge. We agreed to wait until I felt comfortable then we were going to tell our parents first.

cyantist

I'd be really annoyed if an ex of my husband was the first to know I was pregnant. But I can understand that he probably just wants her to leave him alone and he really thought this would be a good way to finally get rid of her.

It does seem like he was doing the wrong thing for the right reason and the chance of him leaving you for her, when you are having his baby, is non-existent.

Oh and congratulations!

ViolaLass

What do you want him to do that he hasn't already done?

Pollycat

yvonne13 wrote: »

My pregnacy wasn't public knowledge. We agreed to wait until I felt comfortable then we were going to tell our parents first.

Then he's definitely in the wrong.
I would be angry that he'd told someone - anyone - before both sets of parents were told.
And if he can't understand why you're angry, he's either pretty stupid or just insensitive.

onomatopoeia99

yvonne13 wrote: »

I
I shouted at him today and demanded to know why he had to tell her.

Perhaps see your GP about your anger issues and your insecurity? Because looking at what you have written from the outside, you seem to have zero appreciation for how stressful this must be for your fiancee with an ex stalking and harassing him and you shouting at him for being the victim of stalking and harassment. Why aren't you supporting him in this stressful time, rather than flying off the handle at him? Your anger is apparently more important to you than what he's having to deal with . It all comes across as very "me, me, me" .

-taff

yvonne13 wrote: »

I don't know how much more I can take I've told him this whole situation is making me feel insecure and he needs to make me feel secure.

Nope, that's up to you. He;s done everything he can to stop her contacting him. Unless you want him to kill her?

yvonne13 wrote: »

I don't know what to do. I'm sat here crying thinking hes going to leave me for her as she won't stop. I feel what shes doing is stalking, but I don't know if I'm thinking straight.

It is stalking. How long have they been parted for?


And there's not much more he can do except move country, so maybe cut him some slack.

bertiewhite

He's demonstrating his loyalty to you - be happy.

Pollycat

I can see the points about him doing his best to discourage this woman - and I agree that this is stalking and he needs to do something official about this as his tactics are not working - but to tell an ex that he and his now-partner are expecting a baby before it's common knowledge within their circle of friends and before parents are aware is really unfair on the OP.

He has been at best thoughtless - imho.

Mojisola

yvonne13 wrote: »

I'm not happy because my fiancee told his ex I'm pregnant.

Ever since I was with him she would often send messages begging him to take her back.

I shouted at him today and demanded to know why he had to tell her. His responce was he thought she would finally get the message and stop contacting him if she knew.

She rings and calls of different numbers which he blocks, but she also does it on witheld which he can't ignore as his job calls on withheld numbers. I asked him to change his number which he did and surprise she started emailing him.

This is a clear case of stalking and, if he is serious about not liking the attention she is giving him, he should be talking to the police, not giving her very personal information about you.

She may just be talk and no action but events like the new partner becoming pregnant can be the trigger to a stalker taking things to another level.