Disgusted With The way Some Members Here Have treated Me.

edited 27 May 2018 at 9:34PM in Site Feedback
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Legacy_userLegacy_user Forumite
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edited 27 May 2018 at 9:34PM in Site Feedback
I have given this long thought before posting this. As you know I am a regular poster on here. But this problem with the way a lot of the members here treat me has been going on for so long now. I have had enough of it and have decided to say something about it.

It seems that on every thread and post I make a lot of you like to say things to deliberately upset me. And you have done just that.

Maybe it's partly my fault for posting about my problems on here but that's not the point.

As you know 2 years ago my late mum left me some money(inheritance) which I revived in December 2016.

And I was posting on a thread I started about how happy I was to get it. And how I was to get it. And instead of treating me like a normal adult you made nasty comments and locked my thread.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5576755

Well I don't mean to be rude or cause trouble here but with all due respect.
You and the members here don't know me.
You are strangers so it's not your place to tell me what to do with my own life.

I am an adult and if I want to move, or do whatever I want with my life it's my right and my choice. The same as it is everyone else's in England.
And there is NOTHING you can do to stop me.
Sure you can lock my threads, make nasty comments and ban me.
But I couldn't care less about you or anyone else on this form.
I just want you to stay OUT of my life and leave me alone.
I hope I have made myself clear.

Replies

  • McKneffMcKneff Forumite
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    You are probably, by posting, going to make it even worse. Why not just leave the site and get on with your life, be positive and enjoy your inheritance.

    I dont know your history so i have no preconceptions.
    make the most of it, we are only here for the weekend.
    and we will never, ever return.
  • edited 27 May 2018 at 9:56PM
    SystemSystem Forumite
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    edited 27 May 2018 at 9:56PM
    McKneff wrote: »
    You are probably, by posting, going to make it even worse. Why not just leave the site and get on with your life, be positive and enjoy your inheritance.

    I dont know your history so i have no preconceptions.

    Yes maybe that's not a bad idea.
    Maybe I should not have told anyone on a forum about my inheritance or my problems.

    And yes I am angry because the members attitudes were very negative, And they told me to stay where I am. And some even said I would not get my benefits, which wound me up further.

    But even if they had have agreed with me.
    It would not have made any difference.
    Because there is nothing anyone online can do to sort out my life.

    At the end of the day it's down to me.

    And yes although I got my inheritance, it has not changed anything. I am still in the same position I was before I got it.
    The money I have left is not enough to buy a place.

    So if I want to move I can only rent or exchange with my Council.

    And NO I don't have support here where I live and my sisters won't even pick up the phone to me.
    Apart from the money I am quite alone.
    Me is all I have. And I really don't know what the answer is.

    Even if I do move I may still have the same problems I got here.
    Although I can understand why I might want to move up North.
    Anyone who has lived in London will know it can be a very cold and unfriendly place.

    But it's not just that being here brings back too many memories of the past. I have not had an easy life since my father died.

    I was hoping the inheritace could changed things for me but it hasn't unfortunately. I still have the same problems I had before.
    The only difference is now I have some money so I won't struggle to pay my bills or starve.
    But it won't make my health trust any different and they won't give me the support I should be getting.

    So maybe I have to think what is the best thing to do.
    I would like to stay here and work things out. As I have a secure home here with my HA.
    Where as up North with private rented I won't have.

    But I still am not happy here. But I have now been to Liverpool twice and could not find the right accommodation there.
    That's why I did not move.

    Because I did not want to take the risks of private rented that I might loose the accommodation if the landlord threw me out. Which is easy for them to do in private rented.

    So if I do want to move. I see the only safe way to move is either to buy a place or do am exchange with my HA. At least that way I would still have a secure home. But even if I move I could still have the same problems.

    My health trust here do not think me ill enough for a psychiatrist or CMHT keyworker. But it could be the same in Liverpool if I move. They could say the same thing there.
  • elsienelsien Forumite
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    I am sorry you are upset but people are not posting to deliberately upset you. They are offering opinions and advice based on the information given and in response to the questions you ask or comments you make.
    There will always be the odd person who tries to stir things up because it's an anonymous Internet forum and unfortunately that sometimes happens. But from your previous threads most people have tried to offer helpful advice.
    I am not telling you to post or not to post. As you say, that is your choice. But if you do then there will always be replies that you don't agree with, as with everyone else who posts on here. If you find that difficult to deal with then you need to consider whether this type of forum is the best place for you.
    Your threads get locked when they start going in circles because the board guides are concerned that it is not helpful to you. Don't be surprised if this one goes the same way. It is probably intended to protect you not to shut you up although it maybe doesn't feel like that from where you are.
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
  • SystemSystem Forumite
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    Your threads get locked when they start going in circles because the board guides are concerned that it is not helpful to you.
    So it had nothing to do with what I was saying then?
  • edited 27 May 2018 at 10:20PM
    elsienelsien Forumite
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    edited 27 May 2018 at 10:20PM
    I can only give my opinion - I have nothing to do with how the forum is run. And I apologise in advance if this next bit upsets you.

    Your threads aren't locked because of what you are saying or to try to shut you up.
    You acknowledge that you have MH issues. And sometimes when you are going back over the same ground because it's clearly going and round in your head, you seem to get stuck on the same points. Then you struggle when people don't see it the same way as you and try to point out other sides of the issue.
    And that's when the thread gets locked, because of concern that it's not helping you and leaving you open when you're maybe a bit more vulnerable.
    Rightly or wrongly, that's how it looks to me.

    As far as your health trust goes, unfortunately you're on the wrong side of all the cuts in community MH services. It's not right and it's not fair, but it's the reality for many people at the moment. I wish you well, whatever you decide to do.
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
  • SystemSystem Forumite
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    As far as your health trust goes, unfortunately you're on the wrong side of all the cuts in community MH services. It's not right and it's not fair, but it's the reality for many people at the moment. I wish you well, whatever you decide to do.
    Yes that's true.
    A lot of people who were with the CMHT are not now. As they only take on very ill people. And even then they only keep you on for a short time, then discharge you back to your GP.

    I think it's the same in other area's. So if I did move to another area I could have the same problem, as I have said before.

    As you know I don't get Housing Benefit anymore because of the inheritace, my savings being over 16k.

    But I still get DLA and Contribution Based ESA because they are not means tested. Which brings in £853 a month. Which at least means I don't have to use my savings to pay the rent.

    But I still have to pay bills and buy food and it does not cover that.
    So of course my money is going down because I am living on mostly my savings. As the little money I do get in benefits does not cover everything.

    My rent is £601 a month which includes water charges. So I don't pay water bill as it's included in the rent.

    But if I private rented up North rents there are not any cheaper they are the same or near enough the same. At £500 to £600 for a 1 or 2 bedroom flat and I would have to pay water bill on top of that. Unlike here in my HA flat where I don't.
    So if I moved I would not be paying any less rent than what I do now.
    So would not save money that way.

    Also the most worrying is that I would not have a secure tenancy.

    And having a home is just as much of a need as having support.

    Here at least I have a secure home with the Housing Association that I cannot be thrown out of. Where as with private rented I might not have.
    That's why I did not move to Liverpool.

    Because as I said I went up there twice, the first time last year. And the second time this year in February. And I did not like any of the letting agents I met and spoke to.

    They would not let you paint in the color of your choice. And they were not people that would give me time or understanding like my HA does.
    So I would not have been happy with those letting agents.
    And I will be difficult to find a letting agent like what I want.

    I mean with my HA I can decorate my home. They know I have MH problems so I don't have to hide this from them. And when I phone them or go to see them, they give me time. A private landlord or letting agent won't. At least most won't.

    But that's what a lot of members here were trying to tell me and they are right.
    Because I have been up there to Liverpool twice now and have seen it for myself first hand. Because I met the letting agents.

    My DLA is at the moment being reviewed for PIP but my EX-CMHT social worker is helping me with this. Even though I am not with her anymore she wrote me a supporting letter. And so did my GP which I put in with my form.
    So at least they are helping me with my benefits, my GP and Ex-social worker that is.
    At least that's something.

    I have heard a lot of GP's don't do supporting letters for benefits. But my GP does. So I guess I am quite lucky to have them.

    If I moved as I said I might still not get the support I want or possibly end up with less support. Or even a worse health trust, we don't know.
  • Former_MSE_AndreaFormer_MSE_Andrea Former MSE
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    Hi annbarbs

    We don't tolerate any unfriendliness on the Forum.

    If you haven't already reported posts you feel break our rules could you click the report button please and our team will look at the posts.

    If you feel there are a lot or by one individual forum member please put the links or post numbers in one email to [email protected] moneysavingexpert.com (join the email together).

    Thank you!
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