Transfer of ownership

humptydumptybits

margaretclare wrote: »

No, you won't get Vera Lynn - that generation is passing away. You might get Elvis whether you like it or not.


I watched a programme on BBC4 last evening about the Everly Brothers. Oh, they were so young in their heyday - 1957-62. They looked different when filmed. Do you fancy listening to 'Bye Bye Love' and 'Cathy's Clown' all day long?

You might be surprised, one of my kids is a nurse and worked in various care/nursing homes as a student some for paid work some for placements and the Vera Lynn sing song is alive and well in many of them. The students all found it odd as most of the residents would have been young children or not even born when Vera Lynn was the in thing.


I'd prefer the Everly Brothers to Vera Lynn but they weren't really my thing, I was 4 in 1957.

ibizafan_2

My elderly neighbour went into a family run home in our town a few years ago. Nothing posh, but home cooked food and friendly staff. The icing on the cake was being able to take his cat with him, something I’m sure not many homes would allow. It meant the world to him.

humptydumptybits

JuneBow wrote: »

That is so true. i visit alot of residential and nursing homes and it is not always the ones that have the fanciest curtains and poshest carpets that people are happiest in. For people who are just physically unable to manage on their own, it is the isolation that is the problem. in most homes there is a high proportion of residents who have dementia etc and those with only physical problems have no one to talk to.
So when I go into these places I like to see the staff just talking to the residents. Not everyone likes organised activities. Some people just want to watch tv with someone or chat. I know of one home that the manager, the cook, the cleaners and the gardener even just comes in to talk to Mary, Frank etc , and what a difference it makes.
Obviously cleanliness and nice meals are important but it is the intangible things like company which make the difference to someone being happy or hating the home.

We are all different, I'd want to be left alone with a good book or Netflix plus nice food and a clean room.

Farway

margaretclare wrote: »

I watched a programme on BBC4 last evening about the Everly Brothers. Oh, they were so young in their heyday - 1957-62. They looked different when filmed. Do you fancy listening to 'Bye Bye Love' and 'Cathy's Clown' all day long?

Now I feel old, Cathy's Clown was one of the first records I bought, at least it was a 45

lessonlearned

ibizafan wrote: »

My elderly neighbour went into a family run home in our town a few years ago. Nothing posh, but home cooked food and friendly staff. The icing on the cake was being able to take his cat with him, something I!!!8217;m sure not many homes would allow. It meant the world to him.

A lot of homes are now introducing a pet policy. Some will have a cat or dog which actually belongs to the home. Some homes deliberately rehouse rescue animals. There is a lot of research being done on this and it has been proved that having animals around the home is very beneficial, to both residents and animal.

There is a home in America which takes in abandoned kittens, which need to be bottle fed. The residents, mainly dementia patients, feed the kittens. It brings them such joy and pleasure and it encourages them to communicate again.

There is also a lot of research being done in introducing "play dates" with young children from nursery schools visiting the homes and spending time with the elderly. Both the children and the residents love the interaction. This is quite common in Holland.

In my husband's home we used to take my sisters dog in. He was welcomed by management, staff and residents alike, and of course Doggo loved the attention. It was lovely to see the residents faces light up when they saw him.

My husband loved tropical fish. I set up a fish tank in his room. Residents and staff alike would pop into his room to see the fish. As my husband was paralysed and often bed bound it was nice for him, not just to observe the fish himself but to have people popping into his room to join him in the fish watching and have a chat.

Social interaction is so important in these homes. You can see this when they have singers come in. Dementia patients in particular really respond well to music. The singers deliberately choose singalong songs that everybody knows and which are relatively easy to sing. So even now Vera Lynne is still a favourite.

My aunt and uncle used to sing in nursing homes. He sang a mean "Old Man River".and they would all join in with him. She did a lot of country and western stuff, Dolly Parton, Crystal Gale and the like, and that usually went down a storm too. They also used to do 60s medleys which were always very popular. Bless them, they did it for free. They are both dead now.

This is a true story .....my mum used to have a cat. She went into a home having had several strokes which left her suffering from vascular dementia. One day in a petrol station I spotted a hideous, fake stuffed cat toy/cushion in the remainder basket. £3, because it had patches of fur missing. I bought it and gave it to mum. Her face lit up. She slept with that wretched toy on her pillow every night, it sat on her lap and she would stroke it and talk to it. When I visited she would say "oooh Penny (her old cat) has been so naughty today and she would tell me tales of "the cats" escapades.

Who would have thought that a mangey old fake stuffed cat would give so much joy.

humptydumptybits

As I said we are all different. The thing that irritates my aunt most about the home she is in is having to interact with the others. Some people like their own company and don't like singsongs. The Christmas parade of amateur singing groups and local schools and dancing schools looking for opportunities to perform really doesn't suit everyone.


Personally I'd want to see my children and grandchildren, my nieces and their children. I think one of the joys of getting to a certain age is not having to feel you must be polite and pretend to enjoy things you just don't, so I would choose one of the modern, impersonal places where I could potter about it my own room without being forced to "join in."

Mojisola

humptydumptybits wrote: »

Some people like their own company and don't like singsongs. The Christmas parade of amateur singing groups and local schools and dancing schools looking for opportunities to perform really doesn't suit everyone.

Personally I'd want to see my children and grandchildren, my nieces and their children. I think one of the joys of getting to a certain age is not having to feel you must be polite and pretend to enjoy things you just don't, so I would choose one of the modern, impersonal places where I could potter about it my own room without being forced to "join in."

A good home will cater for people being different!

lessonlearned

Mojisola wrote: »

A good home will cater for people being different!

True, in both my husbands and my mother's nursing home, no one was forced into being sociable against their will.

A good home will have at its heart the ethos that "it is the residents HOME, and they should treat it as such". In short, as far as possible, they will continue to do the things that they have always enjoyed doing.

A lot will depend on the resident, on their health, their mobility and their mental capacity but generally it is seen as good practice that residents are encouraged to engage with others, if and when they want to. It is recognised that maintaining friendships and human contact is good for both physical health and mental wellbeing.

However, generally, If residents wish to be alone, then they will be left in peace to enjoy their solicitude.

When I was a manager at a sheltered housing complex we often had new residents who were adamant they wanted to be left alone. We always respected their wishes but would still continue to extend invitations to any social function we arranged. That way they were not excluded and they could attend or not as they chose. Very often their curiosity would prevail and they would show up.

And again most good nursing homes will ensure that space is provided for family gatherings "away" from other residents, usually a separate sitting/dining room. We used this a lot for my husband's friends.

Some homes will keep a guest suite where, for a small fee to cover laundry, family members or friends who are not local can come and stay at the home for a night or two whilst they visit.

It's all horses for courses, but expensive and modern hotel style facilities aren't always the best option. Sometimes slightly shabby but more homely units work better.

humptydumptybits

Mojisola wrote: »

A good home will cater for people being different!

Exactly right and I've given my kids the details of what I want if it comes to it. I've told them I don't want them there when I die, I want to be alone with a nice nurse just popping in and out to check the pain med is working. They can come and say goodbye but they have strict instructions to go and get on with their business and leave me to mine.

humptydumptybits

lessonlearned wrote: »

True, in both my husbands and my mother's nursing home, no one was forced into being sociable against their will.

A good home will have at its heart the ethos that "it is the residents HOME, and they should treat it as such". In short, as far as possible, they will continue to do the things that they have always enjoyed doing.

A lot will depend on the resident, on their health, their mobility and their mental capacity but generally it is seen as good practice that residents are encouraged to engage with others, if and when they want to. It is recognised that maintaining friendships and human contact is good for both physical health and mental wellbeing.

However, generally, If residents wish to be alone, then they will be left in peace to enjoy their solicitude.

When I was a manager at a sheltered housing complex we often had new residents who were adamant they wanted to be left alone. We always respected their wishes but would still continue to extend invitations to any social function we arranged. That way they were not excluded and they could attend or not as they chose. Very often their curiosity would prevail and they would show up.

And again most good nursing homes will ensure that space is provided for family gatherings "away" from other residents, usually a separate sitting/dining room. We used this a lot for my husband's friends.

Some homes will keep a guest suite where, for a small fee to cover laundry, family members or friends who are not local can come and stay at the home for a night or two whilst they visit.

It's all horses for courses, but expensive and modern hotel style facilities aren't always the best option. Sometimes slightly shabby but more homely units work better.

It's the encouraging that annoys her and it would annoy me as well. I'll be happy with the modern hotel style facilities.