Advice on divorce proceedings. Your experiences?

Siouxie_2

The convictions his wife got for harassment happened when his daughter was 2 and a half and he went back to her after this. I dont know if that would go against him. But earlier this year/end of last year he was off work due to stress caused by his wife which is documented. The harassment order against her harassing me is about a month old now. Unfortunately she probably will be awkward with regards to him seeng his daughter. He i trying to sort this out through the courts. The woman is so unstable we may end up going for full custody.

Siouxie_2

It is so unfair as she gets legal aid and my boyfriend earns just over the threshold to qualify for this and therefore has to pay for everything.

celyn90

Siouxie wrote: »

It is so unfair as she gets legal aid and my boyfriend earns just over the threshold to qualify for this and therefore has to pay for everything.

Hi OP, we had this problem too, OH's stb ex-wife had legal aid qualified for legal aid but he did not. However, the amount of help that can be given with legal aid isn't that much and she would not be given legal aid to defend a divorce case; which means that if she drags it out and contests, you may be able to ask her to pay your costs if you are successful. Once she has exhusted this she cannot seek advice under the legal aid scheme on the same problem for six months and will have to pay too for the time she takes.

Usually if a respondant does not agree to the grounds for divorce they are advised to issue a cross-petition - i.e. they petition on their own grounds. You can then answer, say that you agree/don't agree with their petition, allow it to go to decree nisi then withdraw your petition. If you don't agree with what she says, you can state on the answer that you don't agree but that the marriage has broken down and the divorce should be granted.

If she refuses to cross-petition then she has to defend and prove the marriage has not broken down in court. I think she would have trouble doing this as the mere act of filing one party filing a divorce petition shows that the marriage is fractured. You need two people to make a relationship, not just one. You will be fine. It can be a long process but you will get through it. Our solicitor says in his 30 years of practice he has had two defended cases, both of which failed.

She can delay you and make it hard, but it is very unlikely she could stop it, it will go through eventually. The main thing is at the end of the day you do what is best for all parties involved especially the little one. best of luck, cel x

ckerrd

In Scotland the law was changed a couple of years ago from 5 years to 2 years with no consent and from 2 years to one with the consent of the other party.

This allows you divorce after the above times on grounds of separation.

This looks like a useful little site on the subject for England and Wales

http://www.terry.co.uk/divorce.html

Siouxie_2

Cel... great Trent Reznor quote btw

mookiandco

I am in the legal profession and deal with divorces on a daily basis. I think there are a number of misconceptions about divorce.

There is only 1 ground for divorce which is that the marriage has irretrievably broken down. This has to be evidenced by reliance on 1 of 5 facts.
1) Adultery - unless you have absolute proof of adultery i.e the birth of a child, this is very difficult to rely on.

2) unreasonable behaviour - the most widely used fact. The court will want to know what the behaviour was (5-6 examples) and how it effected you. Examples could include leaving the toilet seat up, as if you happened to be a very clean and tidy person this could cause you great distress. You should try to use mild allegations of behaviour as there is no need to made things worse.

3) The other 3 are based on periods of seperation (desertion, 2 years seperation and 5 yrs seperation) To rely on 2 yrs seperation the wife will have to consent.

A divorce typically takes between 6-9 months so if you want to get engaged any time soon, your boyfriend should think about starting the divorce asap. The only major stumbling bloch if wife is being unco-operative is getting her to return the acknowlegement of service form when she receives the divorce petition from the court. If she doesnt return it to the court within 7 days of receiving the petition, you will need to prove that she has received the petition before the divorce can proceed. The easiest way is to get a process server (like a bailiff) to serve her personally. They can then provide a sworn statement confirming it has been served on her and this can be used as evidence that she received it.

If she wants to defend the divorce she must indicate this on her acknowledgement of service form and serve a statement giving her reasons. The good news is that if she is legally aided, you cannot get legal aid to defend a divorce. So she will either have to pay privately or forget about defending it. If she pays privately this will set her back about £5000.00.

Even if she tries to defend it the Court wont consider it. Those who are successful in a defending a divorce are usually those who do so on religious grounds. The court wont usually entertain any other reason.

So all in all its not so bad for your boyfriend as long as he can prove service of the divorce petition. He's lucky to have such a supportive girlfriend. Best of luck with it all.

aimex

And to correct again....

the person receiving the divorce petition has 14 days, not 7 to return the acknowledgment of service form.

What stage had the previous divorce proceedings instituted by his wife reach?

I understand your situation re money and therefore why dont you try preparing the petition by yourself, then you will only have the court fees (£300 to issue and £40 for decree absolute) to pay and not legal fees for preparation of the same? Its not that complicated really - if you are using unreasonable behaviour you just need to make sure you say enough as the judge may refuse otherwise.

Are there any financial issues? you say there was a marital home, was this owned? If there are i would say definately get a solicitor involved in trying to reach a financial agreement.

xx

mookiandco

aimex wrote: »

And to correct again....

the person receiving the divorce petition has 14 days, not 7 to return the acknowledgment of service form.


Form the court website:

[FONT=Arial,Arial]You will be sent a form D9H (notice of issue of petition). It will tell you when the petition was sent to the respondent. It will be a receipt for your fee (if you have paid one) and will tell you your divorce case number. It also tells you what to do if the respondent (or any co-respondent) does not reply to your petition.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Arial]The court will post a copy of your petition with form D10 (acknowledgement of service) to:[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Arial]• the respondent (with a copy of the proposed arrangements for any children) and[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Arial]• any named co-respondent.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Arial]The respondent (and any co-respondent) have eight days to return the acknowledgement of service. The eight days start on the day after they receive the petition.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial,Arial]Although the acknowledgement of service form received yesterday for a client said 7 days from the date of receipt.[/FONT]

Siouxie_2

Mookiandco...thanx so much for that advice. Things dont seem as bad as id thought xxx

Siouxie_2

Aimex thanx for that.... the only financial issue is the ex marital home. My boyfriend has suggested a 60-40 split. xxx