Motivating a teen to do homework

Simple_Soul

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

"8 hours in school" - since when?

Thank you. Will correct my previous post.

It's been a long time since I was at school.

ska_lover

silverwhistle wrote: »

The kids today don't know how lucky they are: all those cheap LED headlamps now available for reading under the bedclothes!


I think the OP is right about using time slots and then pulling the plug if they are not used.



A friend of mine lodges in a house where the parent has no concern or discipline at all with their child. "Cough, cough, I'd better not go to school" and the parent rolls over. My friend programmed the router access for the kid's computer so that it couldn't use the internet during regular school hours, so no staying at home and gaming...

Great idea... but I have to ask....as the lodger in the household, did your friend get asked to help / permission to.. begin getting involved with their landlords child's discipline or did they take these measures off of their own back from forming their own opinion?

halogen

I don't remember ever doing any home work in school. Maybe an hour or 2 a week if that...

What's happened to schools these days?

Tabbytabitha

halogen wrote: »

I don't remember ever doing any home work in school. Maybe an hour or 2 a week if that...

What's happened to schools these days?

You don't do homework in school, you do it at home- the clue's in the name.;)

humptydumptybits

I know at the school where DD teaches the children can do homework in school, I think it is often because of computer/internet access but some teachers (like DD) do a late session once a week so they can help with anything the children are struggling with so if you are stuck with some homework there is a teacher to help, she also answers e mails at home when kids are panicking about something they can't do. This is on school email not her personal one. That isn't in her contract and I don't think all teachers do it and from what I've observed it seems to be mainly examination classes e.g. in the run up to GCSE when they are on study leave.


Teachers seem to work ridiculous hours no.

System

None of my kids did homework.... well the Youngest got better in year 10 and 11. I'll tell you why. The school set up a homework group in the afternoon break. Youngest would go in the afternoon rather than muck about outside.

RichyRich

When I was at school I hated doing homework. I'm not naturally particularly organised and found it really difficult to get motivated to do it. My parents never forced me to or checked what I homework I had and so my homework diary was constantly peppered with "red aitches" (signalling homework not done) and I had more detentions than I care to remember.

As an aside I remember a specific spelling test in year five where I hadn't learnt the words because I looked at them and already knew how to spell them. One of the words was a homonym and I asked the teacher which of the two variants she wanted me to spell. She said "the one that was on the learning list" - I remember being extremely aggrieved that the purpose of the test was to ascertain whether we knew how to spell the words, not whether we had done the revision!

I'd like to reassure you by saying I grew out of it but the truth is that I never did. I'm now in my 30s. It was a combination of laziness/procrastination/not being able to see the benefit. All through my GCSEs, A Levels and degree I barely handed an assignment in and did hardly any revision. The problem for my teachers was - that I always did well in exams. That was my problem too - if I could pass my exams without having to bother with homework or revision I had even less motivation to do it. Ultimately - and I have no pride in this - it meant that all through school (to 16) I was somewhat insulated by a system that cares more about protecting its exam record than the welfare of its pupils. There was no way they would exclude me and risk losing a high set of GCSEs for the league table.

I left school at 16 and went to college - against the advice of the school and my parents. Despite still having no appetite for homework this helped to a degree as we were given considerably more autonomy and there was an acceptance that different people respond better to different ways of learning. There was no concept of detention and fewer consequences for not doing things. The college had a worse academic record than my school, but I did well, notwithstanding the lack of homework/revision.

My first year at university was a wake up call when I only got a 2.2 average in my exams (two of which, out of five, were third class). I learned that I couldn't get away with as little as I had before, and pulled my socks up a bit but there was no midnight oil burning apart from the night before a deadline. I scraped out with a 2.1.

I do sometimes wonder whether I should have tried harder and done more. I probably should - but then, we're all different and this is my way. If your son is otherwise doing well apart from not doing his homework I wouldn't worry too much. I never could- and my solution was to move away from an institution where so much focus was put on one aspect of learning rather than conform to what works for everybody else.

I do hope that you find a solution and that your son does well at whatever he wants to do. Homework isn't the be all and end all, and certainly isn't the way everybody best learns.

Good luck, to you both.

joannajsal

Hi, I feel that some people are being a bit harsh on you. Maybe they don’t dont have they experience of a teen that seriously detest and lacks motivation when it comes to anything other than phones, consoles etc. I can 100% feel for you though. Fortunately my son is only 13yr and so far the h/w isn’t too much but he doesn’t seem to understand or realise what’s to come. He believes that having to spend 10/15 min a night is a hardship!!!!
I’m afraid I can’t offer you advice as I’m really not sure there is any when is comes to a stubborn teen as I feel that sometimes the more you push the more they may dig their heels in. Maybe the 1 thing I don’t think anyone has suggested is reward rather than punishment? Reward with Xbox points or iTunes credit etc if he’ll use his initiative and complete something without kicking off? If he’s like my son though, I very much doubt it will work.
I just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone and it’s not your failings. It’s just plain teenagers. Like the majority of adults he will just grow up to regret not working harder at school but it’s not worth ruining your relationship with him.
Don’t be too hard on yourself xx