Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 3 - A New Beginning

MrsSave

What a rollercoaster of a few weeks (months) you've had. I'm so pleased you are thinking of yourself and working so hard to move on. I separated with my Dh at the beginning of the year (New Years Day - won't forget that in a hurry!!), and I just want to say you will have lots of good days, but don't be too hard on yourself when you have down days. My situation is completely different to yours, but I've been amazed at the range of emotions (and that are still up and down 4 months later though we are now living apart but 'trying'). It's completely normal. Well done you for taking these massive steps, and from the looks of it you have made completely the right decision for all involved. One day your Dh will be grateful that you were so brave. (((Hugs)))

crazy_cat_lady

Morning all :coffee:
Just time for a very quick check in as I'm off to work tutoring in about 5 minutes. I'll check in properly this evening once I'm all done.
MrsSave - thank you for your kind words. Whilst I feel good at the moment I know I've had a shaky time over the past couple of weeks. I have been quite hard on myself but am trying not to be. My husband phoned this morning to tell me that he's going to look at a couple of rooms later, so fingers crossed that works out for him. I'll be really pleased once he's moved on and found himself a new place to live.
I slept like a log last night - must have been all of that fresh air yesterday. I feel quite relaxed, and less burnt today. As I say, I'm just off to do a bit of tutoring, then I'm going out for afternoon tea with my mam and my sister. It's my mam's birthday tomorrow and this was planned weeks ago, so I'm not cancelling - just thankful I have the tutoring money to help to pay for it. DD is going out to the beach with her friends, and ds is going to bestie's for the afternoon.
Right, I will report in later. Have a good day all, and enjoy the sun (if you have it).

crazy_cat_lady

Evening all :hello:
I can't believe it's almost 9pm and I'm just getting back on here. It's been another lovely day, but I'm ready for a bit of a rest now (again). Did my tutoring and only had 20 minutes between getting home and going back out again. DD was home from her beach trip and I bribed her to babysit ds so that bestie could have a day off. It cost me a takeaway pizza, but it was nice to have them both at home and let bestie have some time with her family without us.
Afternoon tea was lovely. My mam and sister have been really helpful and supportive, and it was nice to get out and have a bit of relaxing time and something to eat and drink. My share was £35 - went halves with my sister - and that included afternoon tea and enough cocktails to get us all merry. :beer:
Got home a bit tiddly but have since sobered up. Brought the washing in, did the dishes and cleared the rubbish and then sat down to a bit of tv and some crochet. It's been expensive, but lovely. The atmosphere in the house is definitely better, and I've spoken to my husband more frequently and pleasantly in the past 3 days than possibly in the past year. He rang to let me know about the room he viewed and to let me know that he's looking at some more places tomorrow. It's amazing how much more comfortable I feel talking to him, knowing that he's not my responsibility any more and that I don't have to start stressing about his behaviour. It is a shame that it's cost our marriage to get him to do something, but he is finally doing something, so fingers crossed he sorts himself out and moves on with a better life.

beanielou

Glad that you have had a lovely day.
I do love a good afternopon tea :drool:

crazy_cat_lady

Morning all :coffee: (just)
I have had a really very unproductive morning. Sitting on my backside, drinking tea, watching telly. I feel like I should go outside, but I can't think of anything I want to do, and I'm just not into being out and about without a purpose. I'll end up wandering into town and spending money. Plus neither of the kids want to go out... Shame I feel a bit less motivated today because the weather is still gorgeous and it's been such a good weekend. I think I have my return to work nagging at the back of my head, and while I'm fine about going back to work, it's always a bit strange after you've had a bit of time off sick.
I've finished printing out my worksheets ready for photocopying so am good to go and just got to get back into it.
I think we're going to bestie's later for a BBQ - I asked the kids if they wanted to walk there but they aren't keen.
Right, I'm going to get on with the day. I shall report back later...

apple_muncher

Will be thinking of you tomorrow x. Do your y11s go on leave at the end of the week? Will you be doing an endless number of 'extra' lessons for them again? (Please don't - please ration it) I am fortunate in that my exams are all next week, so after that, they have no more need of me.

Enjoy a lazy day. I persuaded dd to go up to the woods to see the swathes of bluebells. We came across a homemade swing so of course she went on it, and the wood broke and she fell splat flat on her back, winded and rather shaken. But fortunately not injured,just bruised. Yikes. We never made it to the swathes...!

foxgloves

Hi CCL,
No need to worry about an unproductive day now & again. They happen to all of us & sometimes it's because that's exactly what we need! I expect you are mentally getting back into the headspace of being back at work tomorrow. It's always a slightly odd feeling going back after being signed off sick, I remember it well! You want it to go well, & end up putting a bit too much pressure on yourself. Enjoy the rest of today & get as prepped as possible for a good start tomorrow morning & you should be fine. Nice to read about what a good weekend you've had.
F x

crazy_cat_lady

apple_muncher wrote: »

Do your y11s go on leave at the end of the week? Will you be doing an endless number of 'extra' lessons for them again? (Please don't - please ration it)

The Y11s don't leave until their last exam is done. Unfortunately, science is always one of the last to finish. The first one is on 15 May and the last one is towards the end of June. I hate running extra lessons though and I never, ever volunteer to do it. I will always make myself available to the kids that want my help, but won't go out of my way to try and force the kids that couldn't care less. I have a very firm belief that they need to be responsible for their own actions - and learn that the help is there if they ask but I have no time to be bullied into taking responsibility for their lack of effort.

foxgloves wrote: »

You want it to go well, & end up putting a bit too much pressure on yourself.

Exactly this ^^^ - I want everything to be all amazing and fun, and it will be hard and I'll be on catching up all week. Tuesday is a good day to go back though as I have a couple of frees and that will hopefully give me time to catch up on the billion or so emails that I've missed.

So I bagged my nsd, but didn't convince the kids to walk to bestie's house. We had to drive there and back, so I'm very low on steps today... Dinner was amazing though - there is really nothing better than a BBQ done by a butcher, and it's really saying something that my kids were as happy as they were eating whatever was put in front of them.

Got home and finished prepping lunches and getting ready for work and school for all of us - washing done and sorted, dishes done, all showered and ready for an early night. I've done a little more crochet and am just about to head off to bed to try and get a decent night of sleep.

Husband rang, to tell me all about the room he has been to look at today. Sounds good but he's convinced he won't get it because the landlord has asked for a character reference from his employer. I said that he should be honest with the landlord about his current situation in terms of being on sick leave, and the family situation and what's going on. He has an appointment at the doctors late tomorrow afternoon and has asked to come and pick up a couple of things and see the kids while he's here. DD has convinced herself that he prefers ds to her and isn't keen on seeing him. While I'm not going to force her, I'm going to try and make her change her mind - even if she only sees him for a few minutes. She's like me in that the thought of doing something is quite often worse than the reality. Things are really civil between me and husband at the moment, and I hope it stays that way - but in case anyone is wondering - I am not changing my mind. My other bestie says he's finally realised what he's lost and is now making the effort, as I've spoken to him more over this weekend than I have in months. Weird that it had to come to this to get him talking.

Anyway, onwards - our new lives go on, and I am going to get some sleep (I hope) ready for a productive day at work tomorrow.

beanielou

Yes, indeed, your new lives go on.
Hope that your ex DH does get the room.

crazy_cat_lady

Evening all :hello:

Well, it's been a long day but I've survived. Thank goodness Tuesday is a quiet teaching day for me as it gave me plenty of time to sort out my classroom (destroyed in my absence) and catch up on bits of work that I've missed. I got a massive chunk of it done so feel better. But I am absolutely shattered. I've gone from pottering around back into full pelt teacher mode, and it was a hot day, and it's exam time so I think a very early night will be on the cards tonight.

Got home for half past four as I knew husband was coming to visit the kids after his doctor's appointment. He is still in a really upbeat mood - which I find confusing. I'm really pleased that he's doing ok, but I feel sad that both he and I are happier without each other. We're still talking more than we have done in recent months, and I'm pleased that he is making steps to help himself. He stayed for a couple of hours and then headed back to my dad's on the bus. I managed to hold off the tears till he'd gone, but I've had a blimming good cry. I'm not sure why... this has all been my choice, and I'm not changing my mind about what I've done - I just feel a bit sad that it's cost our marriage for us both to be happier. I tried so hard to make things work, and couldn't - so I'm sad for that as well.

7pm and I haven't done anything... Although I have bagged another nsd. I still need to have a shower, prepare tomorrow's lunches and try and find time to wind down with a bit of crochet.