Break up and feeling worthless

MXW

I've been in a relationship with my ex for over 2 years on and off (we are both middle aged). When I met him he had been single for a long time (as had I), and he was very nervous about dating and all that goes with it, which I found quite endearing.

We got on really well, despite being very different. He worked away a lot, and his life consisted of work, seeing his kids at the weekend, and his local pub for a few drinks. When he met me, he said I gave him a new lease of life and made him feel like a teenager.

Things couldn't have been better, then on my birthday, he just upped on left my house with no explanation and went home. I rang him the next day, but couldn't get anything out of him...he went from Caring about me, to not being sure.... amongst a lot of other things. I asked him to make a decision about our relationship, he said he needed time, I said I wasn't going to be messed about, and did he want to end it...he said yes......and then blocked me!

A few months later he contacted me again, said how much he missed me, he had been a fool, and that he was new to the relationship game and had been scared. We got back together, and again things were great. We booked a holiday (on his suggestion) for the weekend.....then he ended the relationship again, by text saying he wasn't feeling the love he thought he should be feeling.....then blocked me!

Shortly after that he contacted me again, we got back together, he suggested a weekend away....then he ended the relationship again....and blocked me!

Again, he contacted me, said he had though about me constantly, couldn't get me off of his mind, so he must have feelings for me. We got back together again, and for the last year have been really happy. He didn't put a foot wrong, and told me I had given him so much confidence and he wasn't that person anymore. He was very loving and caring, I couldn't have asked for me.

We went away last weekend, had a fabulous time. Came home on the Sunday, he rang me Sunday night, everything was fine. It was my birthday Monday he text me to say he was missing me...then rang later, and I thought he was a bit strange.

To cut a long story short (there's a lot to it), he's ended the relationship by text again! I rang him, and he switched his phone off. He then text me and ended the relationship, citing the same reasons. I replied....you can imagine what I said... he's now blocked me from his phone and all social media.

There's no going back for me now, I was a fool to have taken him back before. This may sound stupid, but he's not a bad person.... just can't handle confrontation!

He has plenty of friends...but his lifestyle now will be going to work, having a few pints with his mates at the local, and that will be it!

The point of me writing this, is because he's made me feel so worthless. Despite me taking him back... I am a very strong person, but this has knocked my duck off.

After all this time, how can a mature man not have the guts to tell me to my face that it's over. This has come completely out of the blue. Only at the weekend was he holding my hand over a table at a restaurant telling me how much he thinks about it.

This is not about him meeting anyone else.... he'll just go back into his normal routine.... ironically he only told me recently that he couldn't imagine me not being in his life.

hollydays

Have you actually talked about all the blockings?

MXW

hollydays wrote: »

Have you actually talked about all the blockings?

He blocks me, and when he contacts me again, he just sweeps it under the carpet.

hollydays

MXW wrote: »

He blocks me, and when he contacts me again, he just sweeps it under the carpet.

But when you’ve got back together in the past

MXW

hollydays wrote: »

But when you’ve got back together in the past

When we've got back together, and I bring the blocking matter up he doesn't want to talk about it. The only thing he has said (the very first time it happened), was that he needed time, as he thought that his head would explode with all the thoughts going through it.

hollydays

MXW wrote: »

When we've got back together, and I bring the blocking matter up he doesn't want to talk about it. The only thing he has said (the very first time it happened), was that he needed time, as he thought that his head would explode with all the thoughts going through it.

If you have no idea why this is happening, in any depth, he sounds too complicated.
Or a liar.

Fireflyaway

Sounds very immature and controlling. To me it seems he has been using you. You took him back after he dumped and blocked you. That could be seen as forgiving, but to him it just gave the go ahead that you accepted it and he could use you without consequence hence he did it twice more. I
I'd ignore him totally. He has been rude and insensitive. You don't need someone like that in your life.
No need to feel worthless, he is the one with the issue here not you. Take some time to follow your own interests, do stuff you enjoy. Don't be manipulated by him should be try to get back with you. Who knows he might have someone else on the go.

HampshireH

He doesn't sound like a very mature man. He sounds very selfish.

It's not what you want to hear but you are better off without him. Don't let him crawl back when he feels like it.

Throw yourself into a hobby or your friends/family and look forward to the summer months with them. When he next decides he feels like being looked after (because he will because he thinks he can) read it, remember the pain tell him you've moved on and block him.

I hope your feeling more yourself soon:)

PeacefulWaters

Block him.

Give yourself some time.

Then move on.

You're worth far more than him.

MXW

hollydays wrote: »

If you have no idea why this is happening, in any depth, he sounds too complicated.
Or a liar.

I honestly don't think he's a liar (he's not intelligent enough) and I don't mean that in a nasty way. I think he's complicated and troubled.

MXW

Fireflyaway wrote: »

Sounds very immature and controlling. To me it seems he has been using you. You took him back after he dumped and blocked you. That could be seen as forgiving, but to him it just gave the go ahead that you accepted it and he could use you without consequence hence he did it twice more. I
I'd ignore him totally. He has been rude and insensitive. You don't need someone like that in your life.
No need to feel worthless, he is the one with the issue here not you. Take some time to follow your own interests, do stuff you enjoy. Don't be manipulated by him should be try to get back with you. Who knows he might have someone else on the go.

There's absolutely no going back at this stage. I'm confident there's no one else, if you knew him you would know what I mean.