Split up with Partner, joint mortgage, help needed.

jamielewis0

Hello,
So after 10 years my partner decided that she'd go and have a lovely 1 year affair, and got caught out, and of course then moved herself out of our house we purchased 5 years ago.
Of course like in most situations, the house is becoming a sticky area.
When she moved herself out, we came to an agreement that I would stay in the house, and would take all the bills on, which financially I could do, and she would pay her half the mortgage, so that when the house is sold at some point, she still gets her half of the sales.
However, its now getting out of hand, she is playing hard to get money from and she is making life difficult.
After a bit of research, I can only see 1 option, and that is ask for our deeds of trust to be altered, so I take on the full mortgage - yet again no problem financially, and take her stake in the house down to an agreed level with her.
Do I have any other options? I can't buy her out, I don't have that money. I also believe I won't be able to have the mortgage in just y sole name. I have had to enter a DMP last month, due to all the debt she has left me in, that we both accumulated.
I am desperate not to move out and sell the house also. My budget is spot on for the house and mortgage currently. The DMP also makes me worry that I've not a chance being accepted for a house anywhere, rental or mortgage. I have no family that I can go live with either.

Any help would be appreciated.

Thanks

Pixie5740

jamielewis0 wrote: »

Hello,
So after 10 years my partner decided that she'd go and have a lovely 1 year affair, and got caught out, and of course then moved herself out of our house we purchased 5 years ago.
Of course like in most situations, the house is becoming a sticky area.
When she moved herself out, we came to an agreement that I would stay in the house, and would take all the bills on, which financially I could do, and she would pay her half the mortgage, so that when the house is sold at some point, she still gets her half of the sales.
However, its now getting out of hand, she is playing hard to get money from and she is making life difficult.
After a bit of research, I can only see 1 option, and that is ask for our deeds of trust to be altered, so I take on the full mortgage - yet again no problem financially, and take her stake in the house down to an agreed level with her.
Do I have any other options? I can't buy her out, I don't have that money. I also believe I won't be able to have the mortgage in just y sole name. I have had to enter a DMP last month, due to all the debt she has left me in, that we both accumulated.
I am desperate not to move out and sell the house also. My budget is spot on for the house and mortgage currently. The DMP also makes me worry that I've not a chance being accepted for a house anywhere, rental or mortgage. I have no family that I can go live with either.

Any help would be appreciated.

Thanks

If you can't afford to buy her out then the sensible course of action is to sell the property. The relationship is over so it's time to sever all links including the mortgage.

Your ex would be well within her rights to take you to court and force a sale of the property and the court can award her legal costs against you.

AdrianC

You can't just "take over" a joint mortgage into your name. You will need to get her to agree to transfer the title into your sole name (and she won't do that without you paying her the equity), and you will need to get a mortgage in your own name (and it doesn't sound like you'll do that.


It's time to accept that you need to sell the property.


Why are you taking all the pain from your jointly established debts? Can her portion of that not be set against her equity in the property?

Bass_9

Sorry to hear about your situation, and I apologise if this is not the most helpful comment, but if you have a DMP in place are you certain you can definitely afford to keep on the house on by yourself?

It may be best to sell and treat as a clean break for all concerned.

AnotherJoe

I see two options,
1. get a lodger or two, save enough money to buy her equity share out.
2. sell up.

1. is probably not realistic since it means you are stuck for a long time, plus still have the debts to deal with.

jamielewis0

Hi
So after much thought last night, selling up is the best option.
So I suppose the next bit of advice needed is what are my next steps?
I gather I need a solicitor, so I need anything else?
What am I instructing the solicitor to do? She has not yet agreed to sell the house, and has told me she is exploring her options.
What are my next steps?
Thank you for any help, I really am clueless with what to do, never exactly had to research this situation as I didn;t think Id be in it! Oh well!

TBagpuss

If you and she agree to sell the house, then it's just like selling if you were still together - you'd need to agree on which agents to use and which solicitor or conveyancer to use, and make sure that both the agents and conveyancers are aware that you have separated and that they need to communicate with both of you (i.e. that neither of you speaks for the other)

make sure that the conveyancers have clear, written instructions about how to distribute the proceeds of sale.

If you decide you still want to stay in the property then yes, you'd ned to reach an agreement with your ex about how you were going to deal with you paying the whole mortgage - either by amending the % shares in the property, or by treating it as you paying her '#half' of the mortgage as rent for her share of the property, so the shares don't change,. If you decided to get a lodger to help make ends meet then you would also need to ensure that you and she were in agreement about whether you had to account to her for any of the rent.

You would not be able to take her off the mortgage without the lender's consent but you and she could agree to leave the mortgage as is and for you to be responsible for paying it (or for paying a higher proportion of it)

How much equity is there? Will you be able to clear the DMP and have money left over, from your share? If so, then you may be able to find a landlord who will accept 3 or 6 months rent upfront ,to get round the poor credit isse, or alternatively , you could look at renting a room for a while first to rebuild your credit and allow you to save, before looking to rent a house or flat outright.

hazyjo

jamielewis0 wrote: »

So after much thought last night, selling up is the best option.

...

Thank you for any help, I really am clueless with what to do, never exactly had to research this situation as I didn!!!8217;t think I!!!8217;d be in it! Oh well!

Hate to say it, but I think that's the right decision too.


...


Sadly, nobody ever anticipates it. Been there, got the teeshirt. It's bloody horrible, but you will be so glad for a clean break in the future.

louloubelle79

Same happened to me 11 years ago was horrific! My cheating boyfriend at the time agreed I could buy him out and he signed over his share. I took in a lodger for 6 months and in the end worked out well, if you feel you need to sell all the best x

jamielewis0

She has so far refused to drop her % of the house if I take on the full mortgage payment, and it looks like she has no intention of carrying on letting me live in the house and me paying all the bills (this is the current situation)
Is it worth starting to get a solicitor from my side yet? She has told me she is using this week to weigh up her options. I don’t want to press ahead with anything without an indicator of what she is doing, but I also don’t want to be scrambling around at the end of the week because she has decided what she wants to do.

Thanks again

jamielewis0

TBagpuss wrote: »

If you and she agree to sell the house, then it's just like selling if you were still together - you'd need to agree on which agents to use and which solicitor or conveyancer to use, and make sure that both the agents and conveyancers are aware that you have separated and that they need to communicate with both of you (i.e. that neither of you speaks for the other)

make sure that the conveyancers have clear, written instructions about how to distribute the proceeds of sale.

If you decide you still want to stay in the property then yes, you'd ned to reach an agreement with your ex about how you were going to deal with you paying the whole mortgage - either by amending the % shares in the property, or by treating it as you paying her '#half' of the mortgage as rent for her share of the property, so the shares don't change,. If you decided to get a lodger to help make ends meet then you would also need to ensure that you and she were in agreement about whether you had to account to her for any of the rent.

You would not be able to take her off the mortgage without the lender's consent but you and she could agree to leave the mortgage as is and for you to be responsible for paying it (or for paying a higher proportion of it)

How much equity is there? Will you be able to clear the DMP and have money left over, from your share? If so, then you may be able to find a landlord who will accept 3 or 6 months rent upfront ,to get round the poor credit isse, or alternatively , you could look at renting a room for a while first to rebuild your credit and allow you to save, before looking to rent a house or flat outright.

Hi,
I don’t think there will be a significant amount of equity. £56.5k left on mortgage. House was valued at £65k 5 years ago, however prices have risen and a couple on our street sold for £75-85k back end of last year. I am going to arrange to have it valued at some point this week, so I know how much I could potentially end up with.
DMP sits at £17k currently. Gulp.